Thursday, March 31, 2011
Other Man/Other Woman
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide
Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to ‘Go’ and start over with a new role of the dice.
Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to Decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginning of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the “what if’s”. Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Source: Divorce Advice For Men
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Divorce Court
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Warning Signs of Wife Infidelity – Part 2
No time! No time! No time!
Just as infidelity cost your partner money, it may as well ended up causing your lovers time. Remember that we are all granted by God only 24 hours a day. So it’s not surprising that your partner would try to steal the time away from you just to be with her lover.
Business traveling.
Travelling for business is the most common excuses for the cheating lovers as well as being the best getaway from you. Even if your lover really on business traveling, it is often the best practice to afford a cheating lover a chance to literally sway away from you.
Telephone conversion behaviour
More often than not, illicit affairs often take place through the phone. Many foolish lovers take the risk of calling their partners at home or having their partners call them at home. Much to my surprise, many husbands ended up discovering their partners’ infidelity either directly or indirectly by the telephone.
Your dwindling sex life
Let’s face it. The moment your partner goes after her secret lover, do you think she might be interest in you? What more in having sex with you? God knows how attractive the secret lover to her. So it’s crucial for you to be on alert for any type of changes or frequency of your sex life together.
Smell like an animal!
Each person has his or her own unique smell or taste. At first, you might not notice it, but when the time comes, you would feel completely different smell or taste. Remember that every lovers out there would do anything to make their first impression better? It could be their bodily smell or cologne which may attract to each other which is the reason behind the change of smell. Friendly advice, be on close guard. This is a warning sign for you.
Invasion of your home:
It’s quite common for your partner to end up with her lover in your home. When this happens, pay close attention to all the items or belongings which were left behind. Scour and collect these crucial evidence in everywhere in your house that you could possible imagine.
Gifts but not from you?
At times you would end up finding a gifts which were not from you. Look out for these telltale signs especially near Valentine’s day or Christmas. If they are not from you, then who else?
Email usage
What does it tell you that all of a sudden you see your partner having an interest in using the computer? What else does this indicate when she’s using more emails than she is talking to you? Chances are this may as well indicate the involvement of her online or cyber affair. Don’t take this lightly as most of the time these affairs can be detrimental to your marriage. Emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and could progress from cyberspace to physical reality.
Sudden spike of handphone bills.
With the advent of technology advancement in telecommunications, it’s no wonder that life has been easier for both you and your partner to communicate at any point of time. But beware, this could also be a great opportunity for your partner to stay in touch of her secret lover.
The physical evidence waiting to be found.
Most of the time the physical evidence indication of your lover’s secret life can be easily found in front of your eyes. When your partner is not available, check her handbags, her wastepaper basket, her filling cabinets, drawers, or any other sort of place you could think of. Keep your eyes open. With luck, you could find yourself a new sets of physical evidence of infidelity you can find.
How would your partner behave in front of others?
Studies and reports have indicated that most men will likely have an affair with someone he already knows, either from the women he normally comes in contact with, or even business associates. Try to be observant, as at times your partner may behave strangely in front of these people.
*You have permission to publish this article in your ezine or on your website, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men
Sunday, March 27, 2011
How to Recognize and Fix Stonewalling in Marital Relationships
Stonewall, is defined as a. To engage in delaying tactics; stall: b. To refuse to answer or cooperate. What exactly does this look like in a marriage? Below are a few examples of stonewalling in a marriage:
...Origin: About.com Divorce Support
Warning Signs of Wife Infidelity – Part 1
Definition of Infidelity
According to the dictionary, infidelity means unfaithfulness to a sexual partner, and in layman terms this simply means that your girlfriend / wife or your boyfriend/husband could be cheating on you for someone else. No marriage, no matter how rich, religious, political or powerful, is immune to the threat of unfaithfulness, so say experts who give advice on how to survive infidelity.
Relationship Infidelity
Infidelity in a marriage or in relationship is a bitter pill to swallow. Not simply because we strive to make our relationships thrive and survive in an all-challenging world, but because nobody, including you, can live along successfully with this lie! Infidelity in relationship can happen to you!.
Relationship infidelity is cruel and shows no mercy to the one left out in the cold. It doesn’t really matter if you are married or attached, it is a symbol of the worst destruction to your life and soul which is yet to unleash to the unexpecting you. This cheating infidelity is a symbolic of having your deepest fears and doubts exposed.
Do you know that there was a poll conducted to the Americans during the President Clinton’s “intern” scandal? These infidelity statistics obtained were somewhat shocking
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations or infidelity adultery outside their marriage sometime in the past.
About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage, according to “Monogamy Myth”, Therapist Peggy Vaugn.
5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in a sexual infidelity survey conducted on 1997.
17 percent divorces in the United States are caused by marital infidelity.
Is your lover playing cheat on you at the time of reading this?
If you were to confront your lovers at “point blank”, it will definitely jeopardize your current relationship. No matter what sort of hardship you are facing now suspecting your lover of relationship infidelity, there are often the smarter ways on how you would determine your case to be true. Surely there must be some ways to put your mind at ease for once and for all if you suspect that your spouse is cheating you for another man.
How to catch a cheater
Here are the smart ways to detect signs of wife infidelity. Remember, the future of your relationship could depend on your ability to spot the telltale signs in time.
Sudden good appearance:
First impressions always count. Remember when the days you met each other, you would normally go all out to dress up, being sensitive to your attire/wardrobe, even your personal grooming to that you would look nice in front of each other? Well, the fact that these things do happen to each if not most of us, it is often the best telltale sign on whether your partner is trying to impress or attract someone.
Is your partner treating you differently?
When your partner is involved with someone else, it is often than not your partner will start to treat you differently from how he/she used to. Even on the subconscious level, this could be detrimental to your current relationship. Hence, it is easy for you to pick up this alarming sign when the time comes.
A new mood of conversation?
Let’s say your wife used to talk about cooking and spend most of her time in front of her cookery and gadgets, then suddenly you notice a sudden swing of mood in her. She now talks about grooming, talks about cars, or even start to dabble with wine or alcohol which she never used to. Well, ask yourself, could there be someone else who might be influencing her? Could the stuff that she normally talks about, places that she normally goes relate to the person she’s hiding from you?
More overtime?
Let’s face it. How many of us who are working for people would rather stay in the office till wee hours than slouching ourselves in front of the idiot box (TV)? Your partner would normally drives back home at close to 6 o’clock in the evening. Eventually at 7 o’clock, 8.30 pm, 10 or even not going back home? Hmmm..it is a well known understanding that your lover’s working habits will undoubtedly change as her affair unfolds. Be on the lookout for work-related tell tale signs.
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Mixed Emotions For Your Ex
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Divorced, Single Moms
Friday, March 25, 2011
Child Custody Court: Knowing the Basic Information
No matter how long you’ve been working on your custody situation–if you are just barely filing for divorce, or if you’ve been working on this for years–every person dealing with a custody situation needs to know the basics of custody court. You may not ever even step foot in a courtroom–and hopefully your child custody case can be resolved another way–but it doesn’t hurt to acquaint yourself with the proceedings of custody court so that you can be prepared just in case you do end up there. To get you started, here are the basics of child custody court.
People go to child custody court when their custody dispute cannot be settled out-of-court. So, if mediation, meeting with attorney’s, or sitting down and talking doesn’t resolve your custody dispute, then you should prepare to go to court. Custody court is also called family court. The court is actually the county or district branch of your state court where the petition for divorce was filed.
Usually a singe judge presides over the court and makes a decision regarding the case–but either parent has the right to request a jury if they choose. In the court the attorney’s (or parents, if they represent themselves) present the evidence and arguments that are related to child custody and visitation and the agreement that they want the judge to accept. The attorney’s will present documents and generally both of the spouses, and sometimes the children, will testify.
The judge decides things like: if one parent will have sole custody or if the parents will have joint custody, the amount of time that the children will spend with each parent, how much child support will be paid, and what stipulations accompany the custody agreement (like, if both parents agree to go to counseling, or agree to take a parenting class). The judge will base the decision on what is in the child’s best interest. If the child is older (usually older than 7) than the judge will listen to what the child has to say, usually talking to the child in private.
Most of the people in custody court are divorced parents. However, if unmarried parents have a custody dispute they can also go to family court. There have also been cases of grandparents going to custody court to ensure that they get to see their grandchildren. Basically, any person who can be involved in a custody dispute can go to custody court.
Generally people can resolve their custody issues out-of-court. But, it’s necessary to know the basics of custody court so you know all of the resources that you have concerning your child custody situation. Having the basic knowledge will help you know what you can do to prepare for court, or what you can do to avoid going to court.
Learn more about preparing for child custody court and other important child custody information.
Article Source: Child Custody Court: Knowing the Basic Information
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Preparing For Divorce
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Before Filing For Divorce
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Love is Not The Solution to Marital Problems
I had an "aha" moment the other day when talking to a client about finding a solution to her marital problem. She had a laundry list of "things" he did to irritate her. None of which were worth ending a marriage and dismantling a family.
...Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support
Ask Kathryn: What is a "Dec Sheet"? & "How do I get the insurance information on the guy who hit me?"
Ask Kathryn:
Question: "What is a "Dec Sheet" in relation to my auto accident claim in Florida?" Answer: A "Dec Sheet" is a "Declarations Page" which is a document created by an insurance carrier to summarize the nature of the insurance policy, the names of the insurer and insured, and the type of coverage in that particular policy. A Dec Sheet is usually one or two pages where as the actual policy is anywhere from 50-100 pages long. The policy describes in great details the agreement between the insurer and insured, it defines the terms involved in the agreement, explains the types of coverages available and the exclusions to coverage, it also explains the procedures to follow when making a claim. Question: "How do I get the insurance information on the guy who hit me?" If you are in an accident and wish to obtain copies of the dec sheets for both yourself and the other driver, you or your attorney may write to the insurance carriers involved to ask for copies of the "dec sheets" pursuant to Florida Statute §627.4137. "Florida Statute § 627.4137 Disclosure of certain information required.— (1) Each insurer which does or may provide liability insurance coverage to pay all or a portion of any claim which might be made shall provide, within 30 days of the written request of the claimant, a statement, under oath, of a corporate officer or the insurer’s claims manager or superintendent setting forth the following information with regard to each known policy of insurance, including excess or umbrella insurance: (a) The name of the insurer. (b) The name of each insured. (c) The limits of the liability coverage. (d) A statement of any policy or coverage defense which such insurer reasonably believes is available to such insurer at the time of filing such statement. (e) A copy of the policy. In addition, the insured, or her or his insurance agent, upon written request of the claimant or the claimant’s attorney, shall disclose the name and coverage of each known insurer to the claimant and shall forward such request for information as required by this subsection to all affected insurers. The insurer shall then supply the information required in this subsection to the claimant within 30 days of receipt of such request. (2) In our office, one of the first things we do, after a new auto accident client hires us, is to send what we call the "627" letter to both insurance carriers: the insurance carrier for our client and the insurance carrier for the other driver. If there more than 2 vehicles involved in the accident we often times send the 627 letters to those driver's carriers as well. DEC SHEET REQUEST TO AT FAULT PARTY’S INSURANCE CARRIER: Our 627.4137 "Dec Sheet" request letter to the Tortfeasor/At Fault Party’s insurance carrier looks like this: _____________________________________________________________________ {Letterhead} {name of insurance carrier} ATTN: Auto Liability Claims {address of insurance carrier} {date} Sent by Fax: & Regular Mail {Note: We do keep a copy of the fax receipt to show that the insurance carrier actually received our request. You may wish to send it certified mail, and in some cases we do, but it is not necessary.} Re: Request for Insurance Disclosure Our Client: Name of Client Your Insured: Name of At Fault Driver or Vehicle Owner Date of Loss: Date of Accident Claim Number: {claim number - If you do not have a claim number you can put the policy number here.} Dear Insurance Claims: You are on notice that this office is representing {name of client} concerning injuries and damages sustained as a result of an accident which occurred on {date of accident}. An accident report is enclosed if one is available to us. All contact and communication must be through this office. Pursuant to the requirements of Florida Statutes Section 627.4137 regarding disclosure of insurance information, I am requesting the required statement under oath of a corporate officer, the insurer's claims manager or superintendent setting forth the following information with regard to each known policy of insurance, including excess or umbrella insurance: (a) The name of each insurer. (b) The name of each insured. (c) The limits of liability coverage. (d) A statement of any policy or coverage defense which such insurer reasonably believes is available to such insurer at the time of filing such statement. (e) A copy of the policy. Under the terms of the above statute you have 30 days Thank you for your cooperation in obtaining the above required information. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Very truly yours, {name of attorney}, Attorney at Law Encl. Accident Report (if available); cc: client ____________________________________________________________________ DEC SHEET REQUEST TO OUR CLIENT’S {YOUR OWN} INSURANCE CARRIER: Our 627.4137 "Dec Sheet" request letter to our client’s insurance carrier looks like this: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- {Letterhead} {date} {name of insurance carrier} Attn: PIP/UM Claims Department {address of insurance carrier} Sent by Fax: & Regular Mail {Note: We do keep a copy of the fax receipt to show that the insurance carrier actually received our request. You may wish to send it certified mail, and in some cases we do, but it is not necessary.} Re:
Our Client: {name of client}
Your Insured: {name of insured - this is usually our client but not always}
Date of Loss: {date of accident}
Claim Number: {claim number or policy number if we don’t have the claim number yet}
Dear PIP Claims Adjuster:
You are on notice that this office is representing {name of client} for injuries received on {date of accident} in a motor vehicle collision. All contact and communication must be through this office. Pursuant to the requirements of Florida Statutes Section 627.4137 regarding disclosure of insurance information, I am requesting the required statement under oath of a corporate officer, the insurer's claims manager or superintendent setting forth the following information with regard to each known policy of insurance, including excess or umbrella insurance:
(a) The name of the insurer.
(b) The name of each insured.
(c) The limits of liability coverage.
(d) A statement of any policy or coverage defense which such insurer reasonably believes is available to such insurer at the time of filing such statement.
(e) A copy of the policy, including any Uninsured Motorist rejection / selection, if any.
Under the terms of the above statute you have 30 days to provide the above information or be liable for attorneys fees and costs required to be expended to acquire such information. If available, please also send copies of the following: Accident Report, Application for No Fault Benefits, Property Damage Estimate, Recorded Statements, Property Damage Photos, PIP Payment Ledger. Thank you for your cooperation in obtaining the above required information. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.
Very truly yours,
{Name of Attorney},
Attorney at Law
Encl.: Accident Report (if available);
cc: {client}
__________
________________________________________________________________
So remember this if you’ve been in an auto accident in Florida:
1. After the accident, you or your attorney should write to the insurance carriers to get the Dec Sheets of your auto insurance policy and that of the at fault driver.
2. The Dec Sheets will tell you what type of coverages are available.
3. The insurance carriers in Florida have to provide a dec sheet according to Florida Statute §627.4137.
Do you have more questions? Please leave a comment or send an email to me at
KathrynatScottandFenderson@gmail.com. Be sure to put "Scott & Fenderson Ask Kathryn" in the subject line of your email.
Credit: Scott and Fenderson Law Blog
Child Custody and Seeing Your Kids – Visitation
Child custody has several forms, sole custody and joint custody. Sole custody means one parent gets physical as well as legal custody. Joint custody is another type of child custody, where both parents get the right to have a share in making decisions for the child. There is also a type of joint custody where the child gets to stay for some period of time with each of the parent. However, it is said that this can be a bit difficult for the child.
It is necessary that joint custody that both parents are co-operating with each other regarding decision making about the child. It all depends on how the divorce proceedings have been, in case of a bitter divorce and conflict; it might be better that sole custody of child is awarded to a single parent.
It is required by the state laws that whichever type of custody is awarded, it is necessary that it should be in the best interests of the child. Unlike in earlier times, when mother was taken as the correct person to raise a child, today the court looks at the fact and selects the parent who has been playing an active role in raising the child.
The court allows periodical visitation rights to the parent who has not been awarded physical custody of the child; these visits take place in the home of the parent who has not been given the physical custody. However, the court might not give any rights for visitation if there is fear of any physical harm or abuse in the history of parents, the court instead of denying totally might give supervised visitation charges.
In cases where there are charges of abuse, especially sexual abuse hurled at one another by each parent, the court can give further instructions for investigation in case it is in doubt of these charges. Though there have been a number of cases where accusation of abuse has been used to get more money or to harm the spouse’s reputation.
However, if the accusation of child abuse does not hold true in someone’s case, he should not be silent over the issue and should try to gain help from several organizations which provide advice, support and sometimes legal advice. One such organization is VOCAL (Victims of Child Abuse Laws).
According to the law, visitation rights and child support payments are different issues, therefore though visitation has not been allowed one is required to pay. The court, while giving the custody of the child might take a view of ‘in best interests of the child’ where it considers several factors.
Most times both parents agree that the mother should get custody, but times are changing across the board and men are gaining more custody recently.
When to Start Dating
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
THE FLORIDA BAR GOES AFTER TWO ATTORNEYS ACCUSED OF STEALING CLINETS
Florida Bar goes after two attorneys accused of stealing clients
By Stephen Nohlgren, Times Staff Writer
In Print: Tuesday, March 22, 2011
| Attorney William Henry Winters, 51, testifies in court in St. Petersburg on Monday, the first day in an eight-day Bar hearing. |  |
| [SCOTT KEELER | Times] |
ST. PETERSBURG — Their faces have beamed from Tampa Bay billboards, their voices from tevision and radio ads. Now two of the area's most recognizable lawyers are battling for their legal lives.
The Florida Bar has charged William Henry Winters, 51, and Marc Edward Yonker, 34, with deception, misrepresentation, civil theft and more than a dozen rule violations in the practice of law.
An eight-day hearing on the charges began Monday.
The case dates back 10 years to a bitter breakup of the Tampa firm of Richard Mulholland, once a pathfinder in high-marketing, high-volume personal injury law.
The Bar alleges that Winters and Yonker left Mulholland's firm to start their own practice in 2001 after stealing files, wooing clients with misstatements and covering their tracks by inducing a former secretary to hack into Mulholland's computer.
Punishment, if any, could range from an admonishment to disbarment.
In opening statements and testimony, however, Winters, Yonker and their attorney painted a much different picture. Mulholland's firm had declined for years and they were his last two active attorneys, they said. They were the contact points for clients while Mulholland concentrated on personal real estate deals.
Yes, they borrowed files to copy medical statements, police reports and other documents, but only so they could keep serving clients who relied on them. No, they did not participate in any computer hacking, they said.
In fact, Winters testified that he wasn't even aware at first that Mulholland had huge problems with his departure. Winters said he helped replacement lawyers work cases and even tried one of them for free two months after he left.
Tampa lawyer Don Smith told Pinellas-Pasco Circuit Judge Walt Logan that Winters and Yonker are the victims, pursued by an autocratic ex-boss via lawsuits and Bar complaints.
"They were caught up in, for lack of a better term, a vendetta," Smith said. Mulholland "wants to maintain some revenge."
Both a 2008 jury verdict and a 2010 appellate court ruling found Winters' and Yonker's behavior lacking. "Loathsome," is how the appellate judge put it.
Under Bar rules, Logan can either accept or ignore those opinions.
• • •
Law firm breakups are often messy, particularly in firms like Mulholland's, where a rainmaker boss takes most of the profits while employees work in the trenches with clients.
Though the Bar now has specific rules and guidelines about breakups, including a joint letter that lets clients make informed choices, it was more catch-as-catch-can back in 2001.
The Bar alleges that, more than two months before they resigned, Winters and Yonker made "covert" preparations to take valuable Mulholland clients out the door with them.
They set up a secret office in the bedroom of a former Mulholland secretary, Elizabeth Chapa, who was carrying on an affair with Winters, the Bar said.
Yonker removed about 20 files during his lunch break so Chapa could make copies at Kinko's.
Chapa called clients and told them that Mulholland had retired and his law firm was closing, the Bar alleged. She also hacked into Mulholland's computer, using other employees' passwords, and changed client contact information. That made it harder for Mulholland to contact the clients that Winters and Yonker were wooing.
Ultimately, 64 clients shifted their business, the Bar said, including some of Mulholland's biggest-money cases.
Chapa, a linchpin in the Bar's case, is scheduled to testify today. On Monday, Smith laid groundwork to defuse her testimony, noting that she has already committed perjury.
• • •
In a 2005 deposition, she denied computer hacking or any wrongdoing. Then she changed her story and became a key witness against Winters and Yonker.
That's because Mulholland threatened her with criminal and civil prosecution, Smith said.
"Her credibility has been at issue from day one," he said. "It was self-preservation."
Bar counsel Henry Paul disagreed. "She realized she had made a big mistake" in the deposition. "She realized, 'I've got a problem and I have to make it right.' "
Chapa testified for Mulholland when he sued for civil theft. A 2008 verdict awarded him $2 million in damages and fees.
Yonker paid his share, about $800,000, but Winters appealed. In a 2010 ruling, 2nd District Court of Appeal Judge Craig Villanti agreed that misrepresentation, fraud and theft had occurred, but that Mulholland could not collect damages because he never proved that misdeeds caused clients to leave.
Clients had testified that they moved their business to Winters and Yonker because those were the lawyers they knew.
It was a monetary win for Winters, but Villanti added fuel to the Bar case by adding that "the facts of this case are enough to make any legal ethics professor cringe."
It is Bar practice to wait for all civil litigation to end before instituting disciplinary proceedings.
Logan is hearing the case because cases involving Hillsborough lawyers are typically heard in Pinellas, and vice versa. The Florida Supreme Court will have the final say.
Mulholland, 77, will testify later. He now practices in a small Hyde Park office, taking on occasional cases.
Divorce: Tips to Get Through and Beat the Stress
Going through a divorce can leave you angry, in grief and filled with mixed emotions. In other words, it can be a time of intense stress.
During this period you may feel like your life is falling apart. However, the end of marriage can be the beginning of personal growth – after you get your stress under control.
To help you get your life back on track, experts recommend working on yourself from the inside out.
For example, studies show that taking an all-natural supplement, like Vital StressX can help the body’s natural defenses fight against the emotional wear and tear of a divorce, such as lack of sleep. Made by CyberWize.com, Vital StressX contains a unique combination of seven herbs, called “adaptogens,” that help your body regulate cortisol, the “stress hormone.”
“By taking Vital StressX each day, you’ll increase your body’s tolerance to stressful conditions, helping you become balanced and active once more,” said Dr. Robert D’Amico, an osteopathic specialist in Tarpon Springs, Fla.
In addition, CyberWize.com offers the following stress-relieving tips to help you get through your divorce.
* Write a letter to your ex-spouse. Getting your feelings out of your system is a healthy way to start recovering from anger, resentment and other emotions. But after you’re finished writing the letter, don’t send it. Rip up the note and throw it away along with your sorrows.
* Seek counseling. Discussing the failed relationship with a professional can help you identify what went wrong and figure out what you need to do to recover and learn from the experience. Also, it can help you share your deepest feelings in a safe, secure environment where you won’t be judged.
* Sweat it out. Exercising regularly does more than keep you fit. It also releases endorphins and is a great outlet for anger.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Credit: Divorce Advice For Men
Cost Of Divorce
Monday, March 21, 2011
Dating Styles
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Should Premarital Counseling be Required by Law ?
Research indicates that premarital preparation can be an effective strategy in supporting healthy marriage and reducing the risk divorce, in some cases as much as 30 percent. Some states have created an incentive in state law to encourage couples to participate in premarital counseling or some form of premarital eduction.
...Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support
Get Your Ex Back – Deal With Your Anger First
Getting your ex back is a piece of cake when you really think about it. After all, you are talking about a person that was madly in love with you at one point in your life. Not too long ago you might have thought it was absurd to think that you would ever have to make them fall in love with you again. They probably told you every day that they loved you. Chances are you never left the house without saying goodbye and receiving a kiss. And every night you might have kissed before going to sleep.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
But now your life has been turned upside down and where there was once love there is a multitude of emotions. A breakup can literally be an emotional roller coaster. One minute your up and optimistic and the next your down in the dumps.
In order to get to the point where you can even think about getting your ex back it might be necessary to work through some of these emotions so you can be better prepared when the time does come to get back together. After all, you won’t want to unload on your ex with all of these emotions when you are just about to get back together, right?
Use these effective coping techniques to help work through your emotions as you begin your campaign to get your ex back
Writing Letters – If it were twenty years ago I would suggest that you write a letter to your ex and let out all the anger and rage that you have over your breakup on a piece of paper. Once you had poured your heart out about how hurt and angry you were you could either tear the paper to shreds, set it ablaze or save it for a rainy day. If you saved it you could look back and use it to gauge how your feelings and circumstances had changed.
Although this technique still could work today it might be equally effective and perhaps a little easier if you typed out an email to them. Really pour your heart out and let loose with every little thing that has been on your mind. Write about how lonely you are, how poorly you feel you have been treated throughout the breakup or how much you love your partner and all that you did to try to rebuild your relationship. Create a free email account and send your letters to that email address. Just be careful that you don’t send these emails to your ex by mistake and delete them out of your sent items before you get back together.
Yell, Scream, Cry – Yes, yelling, screaming and crying in the solitude of your home can be a very effective way to release these emotions. You will be being true to yourself and what you feel when you outwardly express these emotions in a safe way. Nobody gets hurt so there is no reason to feel guilty. Chances are that after a good screaming match with a picture of your ex you might feel a strange sort of relief… as if you have been cleansed of these emotions that you have been holding inside. Of course, if you live in an apartment or have roommates it might be necessary to do this when nobody is around.
Crying, in itself, has its own healing effect. Crying until you are all “cried out” will leave you feeling renewed and as if a great burden has been lifted from your shoulders. Most women know this (no offense) and many men have at one point or another felt the satisfaction and relief that comes after having a really good cry.
Take it Out Physically – When you feel angry or upset or frustrated with the situation take it out physically on a punching bag or do some other sort of physical exercise. Run, jog or walk as you run everything over in your head. Go ahead! Get angry and work it out physically. Install a chin up bar in the house and any time you feel angry or upset do chin ups, pushup or sit-ups until you are exhausted.
The bonus in this is that before long you’re appearance is going to improve by working out your frustration and anger. This definitely will be a very powerful contributing factor that will help you to get your ex back. When they see you for the first time after some time has passed they will notice the change and see that you’re looking even better than they remembered. How sweet is that?
Use these three helpful coping techniques to work through the anger and frustration that accompanies a breakup and you will be well on your way to creating the foundation necessary to win your ex back. To read more informative articles on how to get your ex back go to our website and see how easy it really can be.
Source: Divorce Advice For Men
Divorce Self - Care
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Saturday, March 19, 2011
What Should I Do With My Home If I File For Divorce?
We have been going through some of the worst economic times since The Great Depression. Numerous articles and newscasts have stated either that the housing market has bottomed out, or is still going down. In Michigan, we have the most depressed housing market in the United States. Other states, including Florida, California, and Arizona – just to name a few, are also going through some horrible economic times with regard to housing. In the past, before the economy bottomed out, homes were a family’s most valuable asset. In the last year and a half, that has changed substantially. In many of my divorce cases, the marital home is no longer an asset, but is heavily encumbered by debt. Many people purchased homes in the past ten years, expecting their home to become a piggy bank for future savings and retirement. Sadly, this is no longer the case. Many people were obtaining mortgages, followed by home equity loans and second mortgages, based upon numbers that no longer exist.
The key question that I ask many of my clients is “what do you want to do with your home”? In the past, a home was often kept by the wife, if she had custody of the children, with the understanding that it would be sold in a certain number of years, at which point the husband and wife would share in any growth, based upon the market. This is no longer the case. I advise clients, even when there is equity not to become too enamored with a home. If anything, this is a total buyers’ market, and it is the time to buy a home, not sell one. If there is equity and it makes sense to keep the house, then that should be given serious consideration. If there are other assets, then either the husband or the wife can keep the house by trading the equity off against other assets, including portions of savings, retirement accounts or perhaps another item of real estate.
Normally a divorce judgment and settlement agreement will have a clause that the person keeping the house shall make his or her best efforts to refinance and remove the other spouse’s name from the mortgage. If there is little or no equity, this becomes a very difficult task and in some cases, it may be years before there can be a refinancing.
Let’s look at the situation where the house in “under water”, which I see in the vast majority of my cases. There are still some options. One option is that one spouse will keep the house, subject to the negative equity, with the understanding that there shall be some offset and consideration given in trading this negative asset for other property. A second option is to try to sell the home, and work out a short sale with the bank. This can happen in some situations, but bear in mind that if it is not handled properly, it can negatively impact your credit.
A third option is when the encumbrance is too large and the payments are overly burdensome, some couples will just agree to walk away from the home with the understanding that they will both have negative repercussions on their future credit. In some cases, one party will stay in the house, without making any payments on the mortgage, until the home is actually foreclosed upon and then there is a sheriff’s sale, which in this economy, can take many, many months. Banks are often reluctant to take back houses because they have a huge inventory of homes that they have been taking back. To say the least, it is a very nasty situation.
In many of my cases, I work with bankruptcy attorneys on issues involving foreclosure, short sale and whether or not to attempt to go through a bankruptcy, especially if there is a second mortgage or home equity line, along with substantial credit card debts with not enough income to make it feasible to move forward without filing for bankruptcy. These are issues that should be discussed with a specialist in bankruptcy, which will definitely impact upon the divorce process, as a bankruptcy takes priority over a divorce.
Even in situations where there is equity in the home, do not become overly enamored with your home. Sometimes it makes sense to try to sell the home. Every divorce should be handled on a case-by-case basis, bearing in mind that your situation is not the same as your friend or neighbor’s. It is important to discuss all of these options with your attorney as the issue of the house is an important one and can impact upon your credit for many, many years.
Another point that I want to add is that even if you can afford the house, if it is going to take too much of your income to keep the house, it may be better to sell it.
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Friday, March 18, 2011
Warning: Your Spouse May be Hiding Money During Your Divorce!
Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think. Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets? Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children. Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets. Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.
Divorce
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Divorce: Parenting Time
Parenting time is the number of overnights that each parent has with the child or children as the result of a divorce action or a paternity action. It is based upon the Child Custody Act, and the same factors that are reviewed by the courts in determining child custody, are also looked at with regard to parenting time.
Parenting time can run the gamut from one parent having the children most of the time, and the other parent having a set schedule, such as alternate weekends and maybe one evening a week for dinner and alternate holidays, along with time set forth during the summer and school breaks, to a situation where the parties may have equal parenting time with various schedules being set forth by agreement or set by the court.
Every situation is different and a parenting time schedule that makes sense for an infant or young child, will make no sense for a nine or ten-year-old.
Teenagers will often need very different schedules because they want to spend more time with their friends, along with their involvement in school activities, and less and less time with either parent.
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Source: Divorce Advice For Men
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Divorce Court
The Pros and Cons of a Trial Separation
Couples who have become disillusioned with their marriage but aren't ready to take the permanent step of divorce have the option of either entering into a legal separation or a trial separation.
...Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Divorce to Remarriage
Preparing for a remarriage is an exciting time in one’s life. You want this marriage to work. You look forward to the stability that you think marriage will bring. Fears are also common, and honestly pretty normal. It is a big decision after all. There’s the fear of the marriage not working out. The fear of the kids not liking your new partner. And the fear that your partner’s kids may not like you. But you’ve pushed beyond these fears and are making the wedding plans.
One of the most important things to “pack” when preparing for this move is “your past.” Make sure you leave it in the past. Let’s take a look at what I mean by that and what it entails.
1. There should no longer be strong emotions when thinking about your ex-spouse for you or or your new partner.
It’s typical to be really angry at your ex-spouse during and right after a divorce, whether you initiated the process or not. This strong feeling is there because you’ve not totally “emotionally divorced” yet. The opposite of love is NOT hate. It is indifference. When you no longer spend a lot of time thinking about your ex, you know you’ve moved on and put that chapter of your life in your past. You may have fond memories from that time in your life, but they aren’t powerful feelings anymore. The anger and bitterness has subsided.
There’s no reason for your new partner to have strong feelings toward your ex-spouse either. Jealousy shouldn’t be a part of your relationship. Why? Because you’ve reassured your partner that you have no strong emotions toward your ex by not being overly focused on your ex anymore. Seeing this should help your new partner understand there’s no reason to be threatened.
2. All child custody arrangements and post-divorce settlements should be complete.
You’ve moved beyond all of those battles. You’re now able to co-parent effectively with your ex-spouse. You’re both familiar with the schedule and are able to compromise with it when necessary. You’re both focused on your children and meeting their needs. The anger and arguing that may have happened early on while both of you adjusted to the custody arrangements has subsided.
3. You and your children have transitioned well into single parenting and have created a stable life together.
This is a key factor in knowing you’ve put the past in the past. You feel you have a good handle on this single parenting thing. It doesn’t feel nearly as overwhelming as it once did. Because of that, you and your children feel like life has become stable again. There aren’t the huge swings in mood from any or all of you as there was when all of you were adjusting to the changes. Your life feels normal now, not like some bad dream.
Without these aspects in place, an effective remarriage is going to be hard to accomplish. They will get in the way. They will effect your ability to be a good partner. They will effect your partner’s ability to trust your relationship. And they will effect your children’s ability to make an honest attempt at bonding with their new step parent.
Are you interested in learning other ways to prepare for your remarriage? If so, please visit, http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com There you will find article archives, forums, tips of the week, resources and other sites that will get you on your way toward your very own remarriage success!
Article Source: Divorce to Remarriage – What Needs to Be Packed Away Before Your Remarriage
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Source: Divorce Advice For Men
Restraining Order
Monday, March 14, 2011
Pre-Divorce Mediation
In these tough economic times, where people are trying to save money and want to have an amicable divorce, an excellent way to do this is through a pre-divorce mediation package. I have handled several of these successfully, and would like to explain how it works. Both the husband and wife meet with an attorney who specializes in family law and is also certified as a mediator, as are all of the attorneys at Gornbein Smith Peskin-Shepherd. An agreement is reached at the first meeting that the attorney will be acting as a mediator and will not be representing either the husband or wife in the divorce. The role of the attorney will be to meet with the parties to cover all issues in the divorce in an effort to help them resolve everything in an amicable fashion.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Normally, the way I do this, is to have a meeting, have an agreement drawn up with the understanding that I, as the attorney, will be acting solely as a mediator, cannot represent either one of them, and will work with them to cover all issues in an amicable fashion through a series of meetings. I then will outline in detail the key issues in any divorce. These consist of child related issues including custody and parenting time. They include child support, medical insurance, medical expenses, spousal support/alimony, and division of property.
The division of property will include the marital home, any savings, investments, 401Ks, pensions, automobiles, personal property, and any other assets. It will also include, especially in these tough economic times, how debts are to be handled, including credit cards, home equity lines, and the mortgage if the house has a negative equity.
Each party is given homework to come up with lists of all assets and liabilities, an affidavit is prepared so that there is protection as far as having everything under oath regarding assets and liabilities. Through a series of meetings every one of the issues in a divorce will be discussed in an effort to resolve them.
If a resolution becomes impossible through mediation, then the mediator steps out of the case, and the parties would then retain attorneys to litigate in a more traditional fashion. In the event that the mediation works, and every issue is resolved, then a settlement agreement is drafted. I ask that each party have the settlement agreement reviewed by an attorney of each party’s choosing. I have handled cases where we have pre-packaged everything, and I have drafted pleadings for each party to appear In Pro Per (without attorneys), where a Complaint is drafted, a proposed property settlement and Judgment are drafted, and these are all reviewed by independent counsel.
The parties then go through the system without the need for attorneys or additional expense, other than the normal divorce filing fees, while I act as a neutral mediator monitoring them through the system, again with the understanding that all documents are to be reviewed by an independent attorneys of husband and wife’s own choice. I have found that this is an effective means of resolving a divorce where people are trying to handle things n a very simple and amicable, cost-effective fashion. In this economy, this is a way to get divorced while minimizing the legal cost, the emotional cost, along with the time spent in the legal system, with court appearances being kept to a minimum.
HENRY S. GORNBEIN
on behalf of GORNBEIN SMITH PESKIN-SHEPHERD
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
What is Parental Alienation?
Parental Alienation Syndrome is the deliberate attempt by one parent to distance his/her children from the other parent. The motivation is to destroy the parental bond between his/her children with the other parent. The alienation process develops over time and some of the symptoms of the syndrome include some or all of the following:
...Sunday, March 13, 2011
An Unhappy Marriage: How to Know When it’s Really Over
It’s a fact. There are a lot of people who feel unhappy in their marriage. But the real question many of them are asking themselves is, how do I know when my marriage is really over?
Is it when your spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore?” Is it after an affair takes place? How do you REALLY know? Keep reading to find out how to identify the warning signs that often indicate your spouse has given up on your marriage.
First and Foremost: Has your spouse reached The Point of No Return?
What is the Point of No Return in a marriage? Is there such a thing? After working with couples for over 11 years, I’ve identified a specific “path” that couples travel on the way to divorce. And at the end of this path is what I call…The Point of No Return.
But I’m getting ahead of myself…let me back up for a second.
In most cases, your marriage is NOT over when:
- Your spouse moves out
- When your spouse says the infamous, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore”
- When your spouse threatens you with divorce
And believe it or not, in some cases, your marriage is NOT even over when…your spouse files for divorce.
Your marriage is NOT over when your spouse begs, pleads, argues, screams, storms out of the house or turns the whole family against you.
Quite the contrary, The Point of No Return in a marriage IS confirmed when your spouse looks at you as if s/he were dead.
There is no life in your spouse’s voice and no life in his/her eyes. Your spouse doesn’t get angry with you. S/he simply tells you when the divorce papers are going to be served. S/he’s already gone to the court house, found an attorney and has a service date set for the divorce proceedings.
Your marriage is most likely over when your spouse has made complete lists of assets and debts with your both of your names on them. Your spouse has already decided on the custody plan and cleaned out any bank accounts with their name and yours and closed all the credit cards that you share.
Your spouse has reached The Point of No Return when s/he already knows the courts require a 120 day waiting period and s/he has emotionally bolted him/herself in place for the long wait.
You’ve gone WAY beyond an “unhappy marriage” when your spouse has talked many times to the children about divorce and they are now either scared, angry, hurt, confused or emotionally shut down.
There’s a good chance your marriage is over when your spouse doesn’t care about how your children feel about it. S/he is only acting for his/her own survival at this point and s/he has repeatedly convinced him/herself that “The kids are good, they’ll be fine.” S/he may have even said that to friends and relatives.
This is the REAL Point of No Return. I’ve found that when your spouse has reached the Point of No Return, no one can save your marriage at this point. Not a priest, pastor or marriage counselor.
So How Did this Happen?
A marriage gets to this point because we live in a society that is convinced that once you are married, there is nothing you need to learn about marriage and nothing you need to practice.
All you need is love.
If you don’t have love, then it’s all your fault that your marriage failed. Because of this belief, you kept on doing exactly what you always did…your version of love.
You treated your spouse the same way your father treated your mother…or vice versa. You kept on doing the same thing and kept on getting the same results.
Your spouse could not help you to help him/her. No matter how many times s/he told you how to meet his/her needs, you couldn’t hear…you just couldn’t understand.
How do I know this?
I know it because every single divorce is built on the same system. When your emotional needs are not met in a marriage, anywhere from 1-3 of the situations listed below will begin to take place in your marriage.
Because you know virtually nothing about how to be married and how to support each other’s needs, you have no way to stop these issues from happening:
- Affair
- Sex failure
- Communication break down
- No Loyalty
- In-Law problems
- Grew apart
- Fell out of love
- Blended family issues
- Abusive attitudes
- Depression
- Angry spouse
- No romance
- Ignores me
- Money problems
- Children problems
- Avoids me
If your spouse has not yet passed the Point of No Return, you can still save your marriage; there is still hope for the two of you. But you need to do something TODAY to improve your unhappy marriage. Believe me, I get emails daily with stories about marriages that took a turn for the worst in a matter of WEEKS.
These people simply waited too long and before they knew it, their spouse had reached the Point of No Return. So my message to you is DON’T WAIT. Do something for your marriage TODAY…before it’s too late.
Contempt of Court by Ex-Husband
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Friday, March 11, 2011
Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful.
Here are seven:
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.
2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.
3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.
4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.
5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.
6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.
7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Credit: Divorce Advice For Men
Child Custody Battle
Thursday, March 10, 2011
When you need to Protect your Children from a Parent after a Divorce
It can be difficult to decide to get a divorce when you are afraid of what will be going on with your children when they are out of your sight. Sometimes it is unfounded fear that has to do with control issues. Other times though it has to do with the history of the other parent that has lead up to the divorce.
If a parent has problems with alcohol or drug abuse the children may be in danger. There is enough evidence to suggest that the behaviors of such individuals are often unpredictable. A history of violent behavior is another reason to try to keep the children from being alone with that parent. Even if the children were never physically harmed, they may have witnessed such behavior or been emotionally abused.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Sexual abuse is a complaint that can come up as well. This is even harder to prove as many parents claim it as a ploy to prevent children from leaving. It has been proven false in enough cases to make judges weary. Yet sexual abuse on children at the hands of their own parents does happen. Make sure you follow the legal advice of your attorney if you have such claims to bring up in order to protect your children from further abuse.
It is very important that you have as much information documented as you can. While you don’t necessary want to drag your spouse through the mud you have every right to protect your children. You may have documents on file with the local police department. Yet many people don’t report such incidents and so they may not be there.
Document witnesses though that may have seen what was taking place. Neighbors may have seen arguments, friends may have seen bruises, and your doctor may have information on file as well. Keep in mind that the courts may view a great deal of the information like this you bring in as hearsay but do what you can to get them to see the relevance of it.
If nothing else they may order an evaluation of both parents. This way they can get an expert opinion about the mental well being of the individuals. These assessments are in place to look for patterns of behavior that may not be good for children to be exposed to. The court is often in a difficult position though. On one hand they don’t want to prevent children from seeing a parent due to the stories of the other. However, they definitely don’t want to place children into the hands of a person who is going to cause them harm.
The court may rule that there isn’t enough evidence to prove the parent shouldn’t be alone with the children. They may decide that parenting classes as well as anger management or drug/alcohol treatment must be completed before they can be alone with the children. The court also has the right to initiate only supervised visitations for that parent.
If you feel your children are in danger at the hands of the other parent though you need to speak up. We read too many cases these days of children being abused, neglected, and even killed at the hands of a parent. It is your right and your duty as their parent to do all you can to get the facts out there and to protect them from any such harm.
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Newt Gingrich 2012: Newt Gingrich Blames America for Serial Adultery
What are Newt Gingrich's two flaws? Serial "possible" campaigns for president and serial adultery. And guess what, it is his passion for America that drives him to do both.
In an interview with the Christian Broadcast Network, Gingrich says, "There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate,"
...Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Symptoms of Midlife Crisis
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Getting Your Ex Back – Why Talking It Through Won’t Work
You may have a burning desire to talk things through with your ex… you might think that if you could get them to sit down and discuss the problems in your relationship you might be able to convince them not to end the relationship. You might think that the easiest way to get them back might be to sit down and calmly discuss their grievances and once you have overcome all their objections they will happily come running back to you.
Please don’t kid yourself for a minute by thinking that talking things through will ever work. Chances are that even offers to attend counseling on your own or together are probably going to fall on deaf ears. Chances are that if your relationship was on a downhill slide for a while an offer to discuss any problems or attend counseling will appear to be a last ditch effort to manipulate your ex into getting back together.
This is not to say that counseling doesn’t have its place in a relationship. Counseling can be a very powerful and effective tool to help cement your relationship once both you and your partner have decided that getting back together is what you both desire. A counselor can be an impartial referee that can point out areas that both of you might wish to work on separately and together to help enhance your relationship.
As far as wanting to sit down with your ex and discuss what went wrong in the relationship, for the moment, nothing good can come of this. Any desire that you might say you have for “closure” or some sort of understanding of what went wrong stands little chance of being helpful to you. Haven’t you been hurt enough as it is? Why subject yourself to further rejection? Why do you want to know in detail why this person who loved you so much at one time now desires to be apart from you? Spare yourself the pain, retain your dignity and leave that discussion for another day.
Now is the time for you to rebuild yourself and heal from the wounds that you have suffered at the hands of your ex. Yes, it may be helpful at some point to take an inventory of yourself and see if there is any truth in the accusations that your ex has hurled at you. See if your ex has indeed pointed out any areas that you also feel are unacceptable in your life and set about to make some changes if you feel that YOU might benefit in the long run.
Again, there is nothing wrong with visiting a counselor if that is the route that you wish to take. But your first order of business before inviting them along or discussing “what’s wrong with you” should be to set about formulating a game plan to win them back.
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Source: Divorce Advice For Men
Reasons to Divorce
Monday, March 7, 2011
Would You Give Charlie Sheen Custody and Visitation Rights?
Unless you have been living under a rock you are familiar with the illogical meanderings of Charlie Sheen over the last few weeks. The man seems to be perched atop a large pink cloud and his need to validate his greatness via the media has done him no favors.
...Original: About.com Divorce Support
Maximize your Child Custody Schedule by Making the Most of Holidays
You have to be at the top of your game when creating a child custody schedule. The child visitation plan that you and your ex agree on will impact you for years to come. It will control how often you see your children until they are 18 years old and it also determines child support payments. You want to have as much time with your children as possible (especially if you are the non-custodial parent). So, it is vital that you know the best tactics to maximize your visitation time. As you’re creating your child custody schedule you have to learn how to make the most of holiday time so you can spend as much time as possible with your children.
Let’s say that two parents have worked out a visitation schedule where the non-custodial parent has the kids on alternate weekends. The custodial parent has the children the rest of the time. We plugged this scenario into a calendar and figured out that the non-custodial parent has the children 19%. No parent would be happy with that low of time with the children. If we then add a typical holiday schedule–dividing them up evenly between the parents, it brings the percentage up to 22%. That’s a nice little increase–but you can do even better.
If you’re the non-custodial parent you want to increase your time with your children–because you want to see them more and because you want your child support payments to go down. The trick to maximizing your holiday time is to try to get as many holidays as you can beyond the big ones. Holidays like Columbus Day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Veteran’s Day, etc. And, when you schedule in the holiday make it last as long as possible. Make the pick-up times earlier and the drop-off times later. Extend the holiday into an overnight stay. And, in the case of the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, try to make them an entire week. Along with doing this, you should request time with your child during every school break and vacation. And make those times last as long as possible as well.
You’re obviously going to need to be reasonable about this–but it is a convenient and easy way to spend more time with your child. Why should your ex be upset that you want Timmy to spend an extra two hours with you on a school holiday? You can be creative about the scheduling and make the holidays really work for you and your children. The results of pushing holiday times–without being too ridiculous–can make a dramatic difference in the percentage of time you have with your child. In the case illustrated before, we can increase the percentage to 42%! And that amazing result came from solely using holidays to boost your visitation time.
Discover how Child custody & visitation software can help you create the ideal Child custody schedule.
Article Source: Maximize your Child Custody Schedule by Making the Most of Holidays
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Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
Coping With Legal Issues
Sunday, March 6, 2011
What Are The Three Major Causes of Divorce?
This is an opinion based article, written after years of working with divorcing clients. There is no scientific research to what I'm about to share, just thoughts and opinions I've gathered during my career as a Divorce Coach/Consultant.
...Source: About.com Divorce Support
Sexual Addiction
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Credit Card Debt after Divorce
It is true that marriages are made in heaven. But everything falls flat on their butt once a marriage hits the rocks. Every bit of reconciliation fails and divorce seems to be the only way out. If everything – both financial and other aspects – is settled before parting ways, then we can say – all is well that ends well.
But if the separation is not so amicable and there is some sourness left somewhere in terms of an unsettled financial debt, things can turn both ugly and complex.
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
One such difficult situation arises when one of the partners incur a credit card debt, and the credit card debt after divorce assumes the form of a Damocles sword in the form of collection people, constantly nagging either of the ex-spouses to settle the due. The situation is a bit tricky here because whether the person who incurred the debt or the other ex-spouse has the real responsibility of making the payment is still not defined clearly by the law. The situation gets more complex when it comes to joint accounts. But let us see the credit card debt after divorce now.
Credit Card debt after divorce – mostly in joint credit cards – is generally seen by the creditors as the joint responsibility of the couple. Actually the spouse who didn’t incur the amount is not liable to pay, but the credit card company may seek payment from both the parties as they care only about the money due to them. What settlement had been reached after divorce is of little interest to these people.
One may feel that closing out credit card accounts (joint) is a solution to all these problems. If you have a responsible spouse, well this will work. But the fact is that the account does not cancel itself until somebody makes the payment. Also, after divorce, it is legally not practical to divide the debts. Hence these are some practical solution, from best to worst.
- Sell any joint asset (say, home) and pay the debt and close the account. It is a classic example of killing two birds with a stone.
- Separate credit cards can be a better option in such a situation. After applying, get the dues transferred into individual cards, divided according to your own logic or the way you spent.
- In this regard, if one of the spouses is not qualified to get a card, get one of the relatives to cosign the card before transferring the share of balance in a divorce.
But, rather than being through this ordeal, the best option is to get yourself everything settled before divorce. It is always a pain to go behind all these joint issues when you are about to start a new life. Take Care!
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Divorced, Single Moms
Friday, March 4, 2011
Divorce Support and Advice for Emotions During Divorce
Are you going through a divorce and looking for support and advice? It is common during this time to feel a wide range of emotions. You will feel anger, regret, depression, loss and guilt. Add to all you are feeling the conflict that can accompany divorce process and you may be feeling overwhelmed and at your wits end...post continued
Origin: About.com Divorce Support
Divorce: Break-Ups And Doubts
Shall I break-up? Am I right? Or my thinking is wrong somewhere?
What if I hurt my partner with the break-up?
What if I cannot live normally after break-up?
Shall I recover from it? Should I break-up?
I am having doubts about the reasons. I am doubtful about the consequences. I am confused. What shall I do?
No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
After life reaches a stage where living together becomes very painful, one begins thinking of break-up. But the doubts can be overwhelming sometimes. They can mar the judgment. They confuse the thinking. This makes life further trouble some. What is the way out?
The first step should be giving your mind little rest. A tense mind tends to lose the way. Relax and let go of these thoughts for few days. Involve yourself in other activities. Relaxing your mind will give you some peace and help you think well. After you begin feeling peaceful, begin writing down your reasons for breaking up. Don’t miss anything. Write down all the reasons clearly and write explanations wherever needed. This will give you further insight into why you want to break-up.
Pluses and Minuses – write down both pluses and minuses of the break-up. Read them carefully and weigh them. If necessary, consult a close friend. After you become sure that you must break-up and that will be in your interest and in the interest of your partner, go ahead.
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Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men