Imagine Having To Pay Forever! – The Need For Alimony Reform

 

Imagine Having To Pay Forever! – The Need For Alimony Reform

Author: Scott

“I won’t agree to this amount, I can’t live on that amount, it’s too low!” she said, as she threw back the marriage “divorce” settlement agreement.  Alimony isn’t to be the sole support but to supplement her income if she is a capable person able to earn her own living.  Alimony shouldn’t be looked at as a “lottery” or a way to soak the ex-husband as it often is looked at by the ex-wife.

The likelihood of being forced to pay alimony

As a man, you have to pull your hair out when you are dealing with an antiquated legal system that favors the woman when it comes to alimony.  The woman’s attorney looks at how many years the woman was married and then calculates how long the man will have to pay alimony.  If you have been married 4 years or less, alimony is not likely.  Between 7 and 12 years of marriage, it is slightly possible to probable.  If you have been married for 15 years or more, in states like Florida, it is “almost definite” and it will be permanent.  Permanent if she found a way to not work during most of the marriage.

Now, you want to settle out of court, because you will probably get a worse deal if the judge gets a hold of your case in a pro-alimony state.  So, on the advice of your attorney, you give in and hope that she will get married some day.  But, you know, why should she?  She has it made.  She is an able body woman, with a college degree who is living off of you.  Talk about the ultimate entitlement!

Paying alimony for a period of time, known as rehabilitative, is understandable.  Give her time to get up to speed so that she can get back in the workforce or start her own business.  But, paying until forever just doesn’t work and is an archaic notion.  Woman should be embarrassed to be sponging off an ex-husband.  The idea of getting a divorce is to get out of a bad relationship; not to get out of a bad relationship to be reminded of it twice a month with an alimony check…FOR LIFE.

Alimony without divorce legal in Maryland

Yes, you read that correctly.  According to an article by Peter Hermann in the Baltimore Sun, December 9, 2009, in Maryland, you don’t need to be divorced to be forced to pay alimony.  The second highest court in Maryland ruled, in a unanimous decision, upholding a circuit judge ruling.  A couple came to court without attorneys and without the witnesses required to testify before getting legally unhitched. The Circuit Court judge refused to divorce them, but he did order that the husband pay the wife $764 a month in child support and $1,500 a month in alimony.  Using a ruling from 1777 as a precedent, when Maryland first started hearing cases involving alimony, ruled on the appeal from the circuit court ruling.  Retired judge, Charles E. Moylan Jr., who ruled for the husband, was quoted in the article: “The notion of alimony totally disconnected from a divorce, albeit a practice boasting a venerable pedigree, has become at least quaintly anachronistic, if not actually vestigial, in 21st Century Maryland.”

North Carolina needs alimony guidelines: it’s time for a change

On the site, Divorce Crossroads, Scott Allen argues that North Carolina should adopt state-wide alimony and post separation guidelines.  Allen goes on to explain.    In North Carolina the amount and duration of alimony (and the amount of temporary support prior to alimony being set – called post-separation support) is in the discretion of the trial judge and this leads to the following:

1. In similar fact scenarios the outcomes will be different from different judges and in different jurisdictions around the state.
2. Since the outcome of an alimony case is not easily determined, alimony claims are difficult to settle.
3. Since alimony is difficult to settle, clients have to spend more money to litigate cases.
4. Since alimony cases are difficult to settle judges have more alimony cases to hear.

Virginia alimony statue creates a trap for the unwary

Even though parties have a Property Settlement Agreement which does not provide for spousal support at the present time, it is common practice for the Property Settlement Agreement to state that one of the spouses is awarded a reservation of spousal support. When the parties drafted such a provision for a reservation of spousal support, it was probably their intent that the spouse in whose favor the reservation was granted could, at any time in the future, ask the court to award spousal support. However, if their Property Settlement Agreement is incorporated into a Virginia divorce decree in a case which is filed after July 1, 1998, then it will be a case in which the right to spousal support is reserved and therefore it will be presumed that the reservation will last for one-half of the length of the marriage because there are no provisions in the Property Settlement Agreement to overcome the presumption.  published in Divorcenet.com.

Permanent Alimony & The Stay At Home Mom: Florida Divorce and Alimony

Whitney R Lonker wrote in his blog in September 2009:

Florida law provides for permanent alimony when certain statutory factors are met however, in the end, it’s still up to a Judge. Having said that, the length of the marriage is one factor the Courts look to in determining permanent alimony. Usually if the marriage is 10 years or fewer, the courts consider this a short-term marriage and there is a presumption against permanent alimony. If the marriage is 11-16 years, the courts deem this as a “gray area” length of marriage with no presumption either way for or against alimony. A marriage of 17 or more years is considered by the courts to be long-term with a presumption in favor of permanent alimony. However, the requesting spouse has to show a need for the support and the other spouse has to show an ability to pay it. On July 29, 2009, the Florida 3rd DCA stated that there is a strong factor support permanent alimony where a spouse remained home caring for the family rather than pursuing a career for a significant period of time.

Alimony Reform – The Alliance for Freedom leads the way

The Alliance for Freedom is an organized group focusing entirely on legislative efforts to reform the present alimony laws in Florida, some of the most archaic laws in the country.  The group has moved into the next generation of activates to maximize its efforts and effectiveness.  Not only do spouses who pay “lifetime” alimony suffer, but their families, second spouses or significant others are affected.  There is a negative trickle-down effect that has an affect on the whole society and economy and it is time for a change in the laws.

There is a new emphasis on educating the public and those responsible for making the laws that affect family law.  There is a pressing need to end the continuing financial marriage that survives and lives long after the dissolution of marriage that terminated the relationship of the spouses.

The organization is fighting Florida House Bill 277.  This bill allows for:

Award of more than one type of alimony; revises factors to be considered in whether to award alimony or maintenance; provides for award of bridge-the-gap alimony for limited period; provides that such award is not modifiable; provides for award of rehabilitative alimony, durational alimony, & permanent alimony in certain circumstances; provides for modification or termination of such awards.

“H.B. 277 currently before the legislature expands and deepens the Alimony scheme—–a very bad bill.”

R. C. (Dick) Lindsey, Chairman Alliance for Freedom From Alimony, Inc.

The efforts that are made towards reform in Florida will pave the way for other states to follow. Only by your participating and joining the Alliance team, www.alimonyreform.com , will this happen.

“We are currently working with the legislature to make changes to the permanent lifetime Alimony laws—–hopefully change to a system like Texas and some other states have.” wrote Lindsey.

Texas Alimony Law

In order to qualify for spousal maintenance in Texas, the requesting party must meet one of four requirements:

1. The paying spouse was convicted of family violence within 2 years of the date of the filing of divorce;
2. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is unable to support him/herself through appropriate employment because of an incapacitating physical or mental disability;
3. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and is the custodian of a child who requires substantial care and personal supervision, making it necessary for that spouse to remain at home with that child; or
4. The marriage was 10 years or longer and the requesting spouse lacks sufficient property to provide for minimal needs (including property awarded in the divorce) and the requesting spouse lacks earning ability in the labor market adequate to provide support of minimal needs.

If the party qualifies for maintenance under (1) (3) or (4), the maximum term of maintenance is 3 years and the amount ordered cannot exceed 20% of the gross income of the paying spouse. If the party qualifies for maintenance under (2), the term can be indefinite.                           Source: Divorcenet.com

With alimony and other divorce related laws, it is up to each state to determine the laws and judgments.  Doesn’t it make sense for states to adopt “best practice” laws and create a uniform system?

The alimony laws, in most states, are outrageous and so out of touch with the reality of life.  Too often, the man is forced to carry the burden of providing for a woman who is very capable of caring for herself.

Unfortunately, the law is not always about what is fair.  It’s time for reform.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/imagine-having-to-pay-forever-the-need-for-alimony-reform-2068232.html

About the Author

Scott Brown

www.thinkdivorceb4marriage.com

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

 

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Utah Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Utah divorce laws.

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Divorce from another Country and Back

 

Divorce from another Country and Back

Author: Christine Layug

In the area of divorce, Divorce mill is a term used for a jurisdiction that is typically used for divorces by non-residents and/or used to obtain a divorce quickly and/or allow for contested divorces quickly and with little or no compensation to the other spouse.
There are three countries, one US territory, and one US state that could be regarded in this sense. Most of these jurisdictions also allow for “irreconcilable differences” as a cause for divorce. These jurisdictions are, but are not limited to: The State of Nevada, Haiti, Mexico, The Dominican Republic, and Guam.
The three countries, which are Haiti, Mexico, and The Dominican Republic are fairly similar in this regard. These countries people typically go to get an overnight/long weekend divorce, or to get a quick and relatively painless contested divorce. In Haiti in particular you can get an uncontested divorce in a weekend stay. Visit the Austin divorce lawyer to learn more about divorce processes.
The State of Nevada only requires a 6 week stay to meet the residency requirements, the lowest in the United States. One easy way to meet this requirement is by having another resident of Nevada simply sign an affidavit testifying to your residency there.
Nevada allows for “irreconcilable differences” as a cause for divorce, the importance and notability of which was mentioned. Also, it has an extensive and straightforward system for marriage annulment, and attracts people who would prefer an annulment than a divorce. Learn more of this with the Austin divorce lawyer.
Guam is a territory of the United States, its courts are United States jurisdictional courts and the divorces it issues are valid in all of the states in the US.
Guam allowed for an uncontested divorce without either spouse visiting the country at all – one of the few places if not the only that allowed this.
After being charged as a “divorce mill”, an agreement was made by the politicians of the territory with the lawyers and other lobbyists who did not want to change the law, to now require a 7 day stay in Guam to obtain a divorce.
Guam allows for “irreconcilable differences” as a cause for divorce, and Guam is much quicker to award a finalized divorce than many US states, taking a few weeks at most. Before the law was changed, it was a very attractive alternative for many Americans, as it was also quite affordable.
Divorces granted by other countries are recognized by the United States as long as no person’s rights were infringed upon. The most notable in this situation is the notion of “due process”, which is required by the Constitution of the United States and thus is not flexible. For more information about divorce and divorce processes and procedures, then visit the Austin divorce lawyer for more details.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/divorce-from-another-country-and-back-597558.html

 

 

By: Divorce Advice For Men

Signs Of An Affair

If your spouse suddenly has to work late after years of coming home at a certain time then I would say it is safe to be suspicious that something other than work is going on.

Credit: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Florida Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Florida divorce laws

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Manufacturing or Delivering a Controlled Substance and Child Custody

We take a look at Child Custody in the following article. It is a good place to start if you are new to the subject and there is a lot more information available on our Men's Divorce blog if you want to make a more detailed study.
 

Drug charges cover a broad range of offenses, from the less severe, such as simple possession of a small amount of drugs, to the more serious, such as participation in the ongoing manufacturing or distributing of drugs. Even minor drug charges, such as drug possession, can be frightening and carry the risk of serious penalties upon conviction. The more serious drug charges, of course, can give rise to even graver consequences. Past drug convictions, the amount of the controlled substance that was found, and the severity of the drug type usually dictate the severity of the charge(s) to be levied. Drugs posing a greater threat to the individual are typically treated with greater legal penalties. In addition to prison time, another significant consequence can be the loss of custody of children in the household.

Issues involving child custody are very complicated especially when one or both of the parents have been charged with a drug offense. Since the issue of child custody is a civil matter, the case will generally be assigned to a family court judge. It is important to note that the case in family court can proceed against a parent even though he/she has not been actually convicted of the drug offense. The standard of proof required in family court is much more relaxed than in criminal court and there is no limitation regarding the information the judge may consider in making a determination on the custody of a child.

If either parent is contesting that the other should not be given custody or visitation then the matter can get even further complicated. When one parent has placed the child in a dangerous situation (this includes exposing the children to illicit drugs) this parent’s right of visitation can be denied and the other parent awarded sole legal and physical custody. In the alternative, the court can also order sanctions such as drug treatment and random tests to insure the safety of child.

Ultimately, the child’s welfare is the court’s paramount consideration. Of course, the fact of the personal relationships or circumstances of the parents are going to be relevant. The court will undoubtedly want to know if the fact that a parent is involved in drug activity is going to impact upon their ability to care for the child. The overall issue the family court will focus on is how the drug offense impacts that parent’s ability to adequately care for the children.

Neil Lemons represents Teakell Law. For more information on eyewitness testimony defense in the Dallas/Fort Worth area visit their website http://www.teakelllaw.com.

Article Source: Manufacturing or Delivering a Controlled Substance and Child Custody

 

Source: Divorce Advice For Men

Reader Question: Why Can't My Husband Maintain an Erection During Sex?

Question: Why Can't my Husband Maintain an Erection?

I'm 34 and my husband is 30 years old. We have been married for 4 years and are having problems with sex in our marriage. For the last three years he has had a problem maintaining an erection when we have sex.

...

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Original: About.com Divorce Support

Budgeting After Divorce

Chances are divorce left your budget a little lop-sided, with much less monthly income to use in your current lifestyle. Now is the time to re-evaluate your budget, not months later when you’ve gotten deeper into debt and your credit has been ruined.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Can An Existing Child Custody Agreement Be Modified?

These are difficult times. And many of us feel it in our wallets. And getting solid, proven Child Custody information when facing a divorce definitely is one of the basics. And, without knowledge of the basics of Child Custody, how can you get started? Below is a great articles on the subject. It lays everything out nicely, it's easy to read and understand and when you're done, you'll know which direction to take given your circumstances.
 

Following a divorce or legal separation in which children are involved, a child custody agreement outlines custody specifications and visitation rights for both parents. Over time, these arrangements might need to be re-evaluated and changed, resulting in a modification of the original document.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Several circumstances over the course of a parent or child’s life can cause a perceived need to change the terms of the original agreement. However, these changes must be substantial to warrant a revision of the original custodial arrangement. In fact, in most states, the courts will not allow a petition for modification if the reasons are deemed frivolous, or are not in the best interest of the child. It is also worth noting that these proceedings might involve many months of discussion and hearings between both parties, a process the court rarely sees being in the best interest of the child.

Valid changes in circumstances will merit court consideration, and these can include:

* a job change that permanently disrupts a visitation schedule or financial circumstances

* relocation of a parent

* one parent remarrying

* any significant changes in the physical, mental or financial status of a parent

* more serious considerations including the incarceration or death of one parent or a sudden change in the child’s physical or emotional state.

Terms of custody agreements are state specific, as is the process to get a modification. In order to be sure that the modification you are seeking is valid, it is best to hire a licensed family attorney. These professionals are well-versed in local laws and recent precedents which might affect the outcome of the modification you are seeking.

In addition, a family law representative can help a client wade through legal jargon as well as required forms, both in and out of court, preventing the possibility of emotionally damaging or financially costly rulings.

Finally, if a child is old enough for their opinion to be considered, a judge might ask how he or she feels about a particular outcome. It is rare, however, that any changes will be made based on children’s preferences alone. Too often, their preferences are based on matters such as parental discipline, and therefore their preferences can change often. Even if a child chooses one parent over the other, the final custody decision ultimately remains with the judge.

Custody agreements can be modified, but only when a significant change in the parent or child’s life makes the change absolutely necessary. Consult a family law specialist to help determine whether or not your agreement should be modified.

Stephen Daniels is an acclaimed http://bit.ly/a8x7RO researcher. If you seek family attorneys in Las Vegas, he highly recommends http://www.mullinslaw.net . With expertise in all areas of family and divorce law, these attorneys handle each case with efficiency, expedience and compassion.

Article Source: Can An Existing Child Custody Agreement Be Modified?

 

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Divorce and Your Credit Score

Steps that need to be taken to keep divorce from ruining your credit.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Child Support Enforcement

Social Services Amendments of 1974 created title IV-D of the Social Security Act, which was signed into law on January 4, 1975.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

How to Get Custody, Part 1

Have you just been served Divorce papers but are unsure where to get the best information? Do you want solid, proven information but don't know where to find it?

Check out the article below. We're confident it will point you in the right direction. While you are here, have a look at some of the other articles because they're filled with advice and tips too!
 

How to Get Custody, Part 1

By Jason Bryant

There are few more painful experiences in life for a man than having to be separated from his son or daughter. Yet with divorce rates at an all-time high, this sort of thing is happening all the time. If you’re a loving father currently facing a custody hearing, then chances are you’d do just about anything to make sure that you win custody of your children. Needless to say, this isn’t always an easy thing to do. That’s why you need an edge in your custody case, and that’s something you can only get from experts in the field of custody hearings.

Two doctors of psychology have put together the most comprehensive package of information, facts, and strategies about custody hearings. These two doctors have worked for 30 years with cases regarding child custody, acting as witnesses and consultants. They have seen first hand what it takes to win a child custody case, and they are sharing that information with you for a low price. You’ll have a guidebook showing you the best legal and psychological approaches to securing your children’s futures.

Among the information included in this package, you’ll find the number one most important thing that you need to succeed in a custody hearing. This is something that even some veteran lawyers do not know about. You’ll also learn about the number one major mistake that fathers make when it comes to custody battles – one that many people can’t help but make. In addition, you’ll discover fourteen important characteristics that are the difference between winning and losing parents in custody battles.

One of the most painful aspects of a child custody case is that some parents will stoop to any level to win custody of their children. In some of these cases, they don’t even really want the children – just the child support check. They’ll use underhanded tactics such as turning the child against the father in order to win the case. With the help of the comprehensive custody package, you can learn how to fight back against these dirty tactics. You’ll need to have this upper hand, because despite being immoral, those tactics can be brutally effective.

Every moment that a custody battle rages on, it only serves to create pain and resentment in the parents and the children alike. It is in everyone’s best interest to end the hearing as quickly as possible and get the children into the hands of the parent who will take the best care of them. If you are that parent, then purchasing this massive custody package is the best thing to do.

While three levels of the package are offered, you can currently get the most comprehensive version – over 1,200 pages – for the same price that you can purchase the 300 page basic package. Literally everything you might want to know about how to successfully win a custody case is included in this massive collection of information. The cost is only $129. Really, this will pale in comparison to the legal costs required in custody cases, yet it will do more for your case than some of the best lawyers ever could.

About the Author: Jason Bryant has a very lucrative career in online business ventures, one of which includes his success with marketing How to Get Custody.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=402997&ca=Legal

 

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Divorce Blogs

Divorce blogs that I found to be great resources for anyone who is going through a divorce or is divorced.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Legal Aid or Free Legal Advice During Your Divorce

What is Legal Aid?

Each state has a legal aid office set up to assist people who cannot afford to pay for legal representation during a civil or criminal case. Basically legal aid is set up so that low-income folks can have access to equal justice despite their financial barriers.

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Credit: About.com Divorce Support

Child Health Coverage

It is important that children have health care insurance when in the care of both parents. Accomplishing this can be complicated and will play a large role during divorce settlement negotiations.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

How To Get The Best Divorce Advice

Thanks for stopping by our blog. Are you fed up of getting mediocre divorce information? We are one of the leading sources of Men's divorce advice so you're at the right place.

On our divorce we try to provide men the most up-to-date information, so remember you read it here first and please tell any men you know facing divorce about our blog.
 

How To Get The Best Divorce Advice

Author: Vikram Kumar

You need to get the best divorce advice, such as the best divorce advice for men, from a site that will give you the state as well as any federal guidelines when it comes to divorce.  Divorce is a state issue and you usually have to live in the state in which you are getting divorced for a certain period of time so that you can establish residency and then be able to file for divorce.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Divorce advice encompasses many aspects of the case.  These include the grounds for divorce, which usually have to be proven in order for the divorce to become effective and the marriage to be dissolved.  In some states, there is a no fault divorce statute that allows couples to enter into an agreement to end their marriage.  Those who are looking at a non contested divorce will need different divorce advice than those who are looking at one that may be debated or in which there might be a custody issue.

Divorce advice for men usually is about custody.  Whereas the children were once always given to the mother in the case of a divorce, such is not the case today as this is not automatically done. Therefore, those who are looking for custody or more liberal visitation can find divorce advice for men that centers around the children.  The children should not be used as pawns in a divorce case, but there are many cases where the children are better off with one parent over another.  In such cases, when the one parent does not agree, there can be a custody dispute.

Divorce advice also centers around how to get the marriage dissolved and avoid outstanding legal fees.  A lawyer can be quite costly when it comes to divorce, although most people do not feel comfortable entering into a legal agreement without the divorce advice of a lawyer.  Some lawyers will give a free consultation when it comes to a divorce matter while others will charge.  Those who want to avoid as many legal fees as possible and are in agreement as to what they can expect with their divorce can use one attorney who will represent one of the parties in the action and then draw up the necessary paperwork.  This is good divorce advice for men and women who are in agreement as to the terms of their divorce.

Those who are considering getting a divorce may not know the first thing about what to do.  They can get divorce advice, such as the basic questions answered, when they go online to take a look at what is out there.  There is no need to panic as the basic questions when it comes to divorce advice for men and women are out there online and those who might be contemplating this action can find answers.  Those who are seriously considering this step should consult with an attorney who will give them a free consultation so that they can more in depth answers to their questions that they have concerning getting divorce advice.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/law-articles/how-to-get-the-best-divorce-advice-4313097.html

About the Author

Those who want to get divorce advice can get it when they go online. You can find divorce advice for men as well as that for women when you go to Urgent Divorce Advice.

 

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Angry Ex Husband

According to this reader she has bent over backwards to accommodate his childish needs but regardless of how far she goes to try to appease her ex, he remains angry. Why, she asked, "is this man who had an affair, wanted a divorce and seems to have moved on with his life so angry with me? All I did was let him have what he wanted."

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Where Do You Find Divorce Advice?

Do you need information on Alimony? On our Men's Divorce Blog, we take on the different aspects, fundamentals and points of interest on Alimony. Many readers find our blog a great place to start if you are new to Divorce and Alimony.

We provide detailed articles for men who want to make a more detailed study on subject.
 

Where Do You Find Divorce Advice?

By Christine Crotts

Undergoing a divorce can be one of the toughest experiences you might ever have. The stress, the worries and the problems can double or triple especially if there are children or property involved. If you are about to undergo a divorce process or if you are already on the brink of one, then it would be essential to get the right divorce advice. Getting the right advice for a divorce process can help you with easier filing, speedier process and also a better way of coping after wards.

Of course, you just cannot pick up valuable divorce advice from anyone. You must know where to get the right pieces of advice so these can help you and not put more load on you further. Here are some ideas on where you can get advice about divorce:

Getting Advice from a Lawyer

The best way to get divorce advice is to get them from a lawyer. This is true especially since a divorce case is filed in a legal court. Even before you do the filing, a lawyer can help you understand the divorce process better. It is important that you find out not just about how such a process goes but also about the details that you need to take care of. Be sure to find out about forms to file, courts and offices to approach and even issues to consider and settle. A lawyer can also give you divorce advice particularly how to handle the case based on how you want it. It is also important to talk to your lawyer about the expenses that will be incurred upon filing for divorce.

Getting Advice from Support Groups

Since undergoing a divorce is no easy feat, you can also get sound and useful advice from various kinds of support groups. Support groups can help you much especially when the divorce process is ongoing. It can also help you get the right contacts and networks for further assistance. There are support groups that specialize in women and children who are affected by divorces.

Getting Advice from the Internet

Another rich source of divorce advice is the internet. You can get legal advice from lawyer and paralegal websites. You can also get informed on the technicalities of a divorce process as well as the state regulations around divorces from various websites. For tips and ideas on how you and your children can survive a divorce process, blogs are extremely useful.

Getting Advice from Paralegals

If you do not have the resources to get paid legal help, then you can always consider getting divorce advice from qualified paralegals in your area. Local governments and private institutions usually offer such help. Do not hesitate to ask around for divorce advice in your locality.

Getting advice from People around You

Last of all, you can always get divorce advice from people around you. However, you have to choose carefully and only listen to those who you trust fully as the issue of divorce is quite sensitive. You can ask friends and family members for support and advice so you can have a better divorce process or easily recover from one.

About the Author: Christine Crotts makes sure that she does whatever she can to keep her family safe. Christine has written a site containing reviews on bath tub mat, as well as round bath rugs.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=516046&ca=Relationships

 

By: Divorce Advice For Men

Connecticut Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Connecticut divorce laws.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Can The Irreconcilable Differences in Your Marriage be Reconciled?

The term "irreconcilable differences" came into use by the courts with the inception of no-fault divorce laws. The idea behind the concept of differences in a marriage that are "irreconcilable was to take the need for a spouse to blame the other of some wrong doing in order to divorce.

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By: About.com Divorce Support

Divorce Process

Trying to control a situation or the behaviors of another person keeps us from making choices about our own lives. If your spouse leaves you for another person, the only thing you have control over is how you respond to your situation.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Divorce and Lawyers

 

Do I need a divorce lawyer?

Check out the following circumstances to make sure whether you need to have a lawyer or not.

• You and your spouse have been wed for at least 5 years
• You and your spouse have kids.
• Either you or your spouse is the breadwinner while the other may have difficulty getting on his/her own two feet financially speaking, once the divorce is finalized.
• You or your spouse has come upon inheritance while married to one another.
• Either you or your spouse is in debt.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Where can I get a divorce lawyer?

There are a many ways to get a divorce lawyer. Also try asking your marriage counselor or therapist for a referral. Of course you may ask your relatives or friends as well. Other lawyers can recommend those attorneys which specialize in divorce also.

It is also possible if you may even go straight to the courthouse to check out if a particular divorce lawyer strikes your fancy. No matter where you look, may it be in the yellow pages or in directories on-line, you should assess their credentials.

Meeting a lawyer for consultation

After finding a promising lawyer, the next step would be to meet him/her for consultation. If he/she is hard to reach then this may be a sign that you may have a hard time getting in contact with him/her once you hire him/her as your divorce lawyer. Find out how much he/she may charge for consultation. What exactly is his/her specialization? It’s important that he/she specializes in divorce, for you to have the best representation. You wouldn’t want a gynecologist dealing with your heart disease would you? Of course you’d seek the help of a cardiologist and with legal matters it goes the same. Seek the help of a divorce attorney for divorce concerns.

What you ought to know after consultation with a divorce lawyer

The first time you meet with a divorce lawyer may be one of the few times that you are the one who gets to do most of the asking. Make the most of it. Find out everything you need to know in order to make the right choice of attorney. After speaking with a lawyer, make sure you’ve discussed the following matters:

• Length of practice
• Case specialization
• Divorce trial experience
• Experience in negotiation for settlements
• Familiarity with divorce mediators
• Custody dispute experience
• Familiarity with tax issues of divorce
• Familiarity with your particular situation/context
• Projected period of time for your case
• Projected outcome for your case
• Schedule and methods of contacting him/her
• Fee (Including specifics, like if travel time is included)
• Manner of billing

 

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Equal Pareting

Below are excerpts from a few studies that back up my belief that equal parenting after divorce is what is in our "children’s best interest."

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Marital Separation

My wife and I have been separated for nearly a year. In our state you have to be separated for one year before you can file for a divorce. I was told by the powers that be in my state that the arrangement we came up with for our marital separation agreement will carry forth into our divorce agreement.

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Coping With A Divorce

 

In this article I am going to explain about how a friend of mine managed to get through a rather messy divorce and how she came through the whole experience a much stronger person. I hope her story helps other people who have or are going through a divorce.

My friend is called Sue and she married her childhood sweetheart called John when she was only twenty-two. Sue has explained that at the time she could not have been happier and was very much in love. She hoped and imagined that they would spend the rest of their lives together. Sue had met John when she was at school and they had been dating since the age of fifteen.

After the marriage, they then talked about starting a family and before long they were parents to two boys. Sue believed that this was the icing on the cake and left work to bring up her children.

Unfortunately things were to soon go horribly wrong. John started coming home later and later from work and Sue was at a loss as to what was going on. John of course stated that he was only doing his work and that he was working overtime to give his family a better life, especially as Sue was no longer working. In reality John was having an affair with a woman he had met at work.

After a few months Sue found out about the affair and asked John as to why he sought the attention of this other woman. He replied that Sue had been the only woman he had slept with and that he felt that he had missed out on the experience of dating other people. Despite the fact that Sue was willing to forgive John, the relationship was soon to end as he moved in to live with his other woman.

Sue was obviously very upset and could not believe what was happening to her. Before long divorce proceedings were under way and Sue decided to put the family house on the market and returned home to live with her parents, the boys of course went with her.

This was a very depressing time for Sue. One day however she was walking through her local shopping precinct and saw a group of handicapped children. Sue thought to herself that the situation she was in was only temporary and that she would eventually be happy again, but that these children would more than likely to be handicapped for life. This strangely enough helped Sue to gain the strength and to think positive about the future.

Sue is now re-married and is once again very happy, she still hates her ex-husband however. Sue has learned a lot from her experience of getting divorced and tries to think in a much more positive way. She has realized that there are many people in the world in a far worse position than what she is in.

 

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Midlife Crisis Spouse

Setting boundaries with your midlife crisis spouse means knowing when to say “NO.” You will not allow your spouse to abuse, control or manipulate you. You will not allow your spouse to draw you into their midlife crisis.

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Divorce Overview

 

Divorce is not just a termination. It’s a beginning.

Maybe your friends of the family or people at work will be going through its own set of changes as you face others with your new civil status.
Divorce may be defined as a termination but it is the start of new beginnings and the introduction of a number of changes in both you and your children’s lives.

Is divorce for you?

Before that, if you are reading this and are in the process of considering divorce, take a moment to think about several assertions. If you believe that you can accept the following assertions as true in your marital relationship, give the idea of divorcing your mate a second thought.

• I believe I still have love for my mate.
• I am prepared to seek counseling or marital therapy for the sake of the relationship.
• I want to transform for the better.
• I value openness and truthfulness in my relationship with my mate.
• It doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong, what matters is that I am willing to seek forgiveness or forgive when needed.

However, if you cannot see yourself in the mentioned assertions, read on to gain a basic understanding of divorce.

There have been misunderstandings as to how divorce and annulment differ. As mentioned, divorce is a termination of the marriage contract. Annulment, on the other hand, deems the marriage null and void, as if one were never married in the first place.

In certain areas where divorce has stigma attached to it due to the country’s dominant religious belief, annulment is more popular.

The Popularity of divorce

Most developed countries, despite certain religious stigma, divorce is widely acceptable. The popularity of divorce in developed countries has been on the up rise since the 20th century. Countries like the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, and South Korea, have all been affected by this popularity of divorce.

However, in the Philippines and Malta, divorce is illegal. Even if divorce is legal in Japan, the country has been able to maintain a distinctly low divorce ratio. Because of the Catholic Church’s influence, a number of countries in Europe have banned divorce. As a result, people in these locations seek out other areas in order to get divorced.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

 

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Erectile Dysfunction, Impotence and Your Marriage

Yes, men go through menopause, or as it is commonly referred, "andropause." Male menopause can be a leading cause of midlife crisis in men and quite damaging to ...

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Origin: About.com Divorce Support

Your Child's Needs

Divorce seems to hit children the hardest. However, there are ways to lessen the impact and make your child feel more secure during the changes.

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Documents

Your attorney will need documents related to the family finances. These will include income tax returns and documents proving other forms of income. Documents related to any marital debt, assets and property valuations.

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Divorce – Are You Heading Toward One?

 

Divorce is not like a volcano. One fine day, we find that a volcano has erupted. Divorce happens over a period of time. The relationship breaks down continuously and we realize that life can no longer be lived together. Many couples wake up when the break down has become total. That becomes very difficult to save the marriage. After that they spend endless nights worrying about what to do – To go for divorce or not? Why not to take care of the relationship today and find out how it is and what care it needs. What changes will make it better? And improve it before it reaches the brink?

Ask questions such as – Am I happy in my marriage/ Is my partner happy? Am I emotionally satisfied? What about my partner? Is marriage giving us joy or pain? Are we still in love? Is one of us feeling victimized? Shall we grow together till our old age? Are we loyal to each other? What kind of relationship do we share now? Are we feeling sick of each other? And so on. Raise as many questions about your marriage, yourself and your partner as you can think of. Take some online tests and quizzes on marriage and relationship. That will give lot of thought to your mind.

As you think of questions, you will start thinking more deeply about where you are heading. Find out all that is going wrong. Try to improve that. Discuss with your partner about what you think. Find out all that is going right. Make it still better. Think, plan and act. Before thinking, test your marriage in all the possible ways. Wake up now. Tomorrow may be too late.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

 

Credit: Divorce Advice For Men

Is it Parental Alienation or Estrangement?

Parental Alienation is defined as the deliberate attempt by one parent to distance his/her children from the other parent. An example would be the mother who shares too much information about the father's affair with the children in a covert attempt to cause the children to harbor ill will toward the father.

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By: About.com Divorce Support

Hiding Computer Activity

Some use the computer excessively when having a physical affair. If your spouse is spending excessive amounts of time on the computer they could be engaged in an online affair or they are using the computer to stay in contact with their physical affair partner.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Equal Pareting

Below are excerpts from a few studies that back up my belief that equal parenting after divorce is what is in our "children’s best interest."

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Understanding Your Options in Negotiating a Child Custody Arrangement

 

Let’s face it – no one enjoys going through the divorce process. Divorce can be difficult enough, and yet becomes an even more fragile situation when children are involved. It’s the responsibility of the parents to ensure that the divorce process is as smooth and painless as possible for the child. Thus, surveying your options during a custody settlement is a necessity. By becoming educated on the subject, and working with a divorce lawyer, parents can avoid causing their children excessive emotional harm.

When at all possible, it is best to keep splitting up a civil matter. Although many couples find it hard to achieve this type of symbiotic view on the situation, it’s very important to the child that there are no overt hard feelings on either side of the table. Even if the relationship is no longer strong, it is important to talk together about the potential side-effects to the child(ren) that could result from a vicious divorce.

Depending upon the circumstances of the divorce, there are several custody arrangements that may be made by the court. If the details of the divorce point to a civil bond between the two people, joint custody of the child will often be awarded. Join custody means that each parent’s views, opinions and decisions are given equal weight. Sole custody, on the other hand, allows decision-making power for only one parent. Legal and Physical custody refer to the parent’s ability to make decisions regarding the child’s welfare and their ability to allow the child to stay with them respectively. Depending upon the final decision, legal and physical custody can be granted either as joint or sole custody.

There are many things that factor into a court’s decision to grant either joint or sole custody of the child. For one, it is important to discuss things such as where the child’s friends and family members live, what their school and extracurricular activities consist of, the state of their medical insurance or college funds, and whether or not either parent can leave the area. The needs of both parent and child are abound, and although the child’s opinion can be taken into consideration at a later age, the decision is quite often in the hands of the parents, and the judge.

The best ways to ensure that your child’s needs are met is to utilize a divorce attorney or child custody lawyer during this difficult process. This will make certain that not only does your child get what’s best, but that you and your former partner do as well. Utilizing a divorce lawyer is the best ways to ensure a fair result for all parties involved, and can allow parents to remain civil with one another.

Stephen Daniels is an http://bit.ly/a8x7RO researcher. If you’re looking for a divorce lawyer in Portland, Oregon to assist with your child custody agreement, he recommends http://www.aurora-law.com . With over 25 years experience, they offer free consultation and flat fees for some services.

Article Source: Understanding Your Options in Negotiating a Child Custody Arrangement

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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

 

By: Divorce Advice For Men

Domestic Violence

Domestic abuse is about control. Aggression is primitive and immature reactions to a sense of helplessness and feeling a loss of control by the abuser. If you are preparing to leave an abusive marriage you should expect the abuser to feel even less control. In other words, expect problems and be prepared for problems.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Warning: Your Spouse May be Hiding Money During Your Divorce!

Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think.  Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets?  Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children.  Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets.  Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.

 

Spousal Support

If you are eligible for spousal support you will receive it during a legal separation. It is your legal right when filing for a legal separation to request the court grants spousal support.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Even Divorce Can Be A Cause For Credit Repair

The problem with getting divorced is often exasperated by additional pressure on one’s financial situation due to exorbitant legal fees, as well as additional expenses which come about as a result of this process. And unfortunately the old saying of no one wins in a divorce is always proven to be true in these situations. Besides the fact that you may have come to a major milestone in your life, you will no to keep an eye on your financial affairs, which may have become affected by the divorce process.

Credit repair may become necessary, especially the divorce process is relatively long and drawn out. Unfortunately by being distracted by the legal processes, as well as the emotional draining and situation as a whole, one tends to forget about the everyday requirements of managing your finances and your life according. If it’s not too late, or you haven’t been so called taken to the cleaners, then a moment should be taken to establish if any major damage has been done to your credit rating and whether or not you will require relevant credit repair

Although this may be easier said than done, it will be best to be aware of the situation if you are going through a divorce. This is due to the fact that should anything be forgotten with respect to account payments, which is easy and such a situation, will adversely affect you in the future. This may only come to light in a couple of years time, when you are least likely to expect it. This is really the last thing you want to happen after going through a divorce. You should therefore be in control of your finances and be fully aware of accounts that need to be paid and so forth, even though you may well be going through a difficult time in your life, to prevent any future nasty surprises as well as not being able to access credit when you have to.

If you are very experienced a situation where your credit rating has been adversely affected, the best place to start is to establish how bad the situation really is. This can be done by obtaining credit reports from the credit bureaus, and then making a decision in terms of whether you will conduct your own credit repair or seek the advice of a professional service provider. You should bear in mind that there are legitimate credit repair professionals available out there, as well as the fact that you can conduct an amount of credit repair yourself, dependent on your situation.

For more resources about Credit Repair or even fixing your Credit Report about please review this web link http://creditrepairme.com

Article Source: Even Divorce Can Be A Cause For Credit Repair

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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Foreign Divorce

Foreign divorce and U.S. regulations to support it's validity.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

One Plus One May Not Add Up to Two if You Are a Child of Divorce

Young children of divorce are not only more likely to suffer from anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem and sadness, they experience long-lasting setbacks in interpersonal skills and math test scores, new research suggests.

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Origin: About.com Divorce Support

Save Marriage

Just as it takes "two to tango," it also takes two to save a marriage. If you are having marital problems, saving your marriage will mean a commitment from both spouses.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Dating after a Divorce

Divorce is undeniably a difficult decision to face and live with, yet after the storm is done and over with, the sun will come out to signify a new beginning. Dating after a divorce can be a tricky matter since the rules of dating have significantly changed but this must not keep you from dating because you deserve to be happy. There are just some pointers you have to keep in mind before you start dating again so that you will get the most out of the experience.

One important pointer to remember is that you have to heal completely before dating again. Healing completely means getting over the situation without strings attached because you do not want to ruin a date when you recognize a behavior similar to that of your ex’s.

You also have to think of your children, if any, before you involve them in the whole dating process. Divorce often has a damaging effect to the children which makes them sensitive around new relationships so before bringing them into the picture with a new loved one, you have to make sure that she/he is someone that you will spend a lot of time with. Getting children involved with different personalities will leave them confused and harbor resentment towards you as a parent.

You should proceed with caution when you are starting a new relationship after a divorce, you will need to be cautious since you are still vulnerable after a heartache. But nevertheless, you still have to go out, meet new people and accept him/her for who he/she is. Unrealistic expectations about a person should be avoided because it will lead to a misleading concept of a relationship.

Learning to be happy is a vital part in the process of moving on after a divorce. In dating, it is translated to having fun while doing so. Self-confidence issues can often strike a divorce and make one’s self-esteem plunge. To become effective in dating after a divorce, you must realize that you still have worth and people will still want to date you despite the situation.

Communication is another important pointer to remember. You have to have open communication lines with the person you are dating. You must be honest and straightforward so that you will get the message across without any pretensions and misunderstandings.

Rushing the relationship should be the last thing in your mind because nothing good can be attributed to this. It can even lead to a disastrous situation if both of you are not on the same page just yet. Getting to know the other person slowly as a friend first will enable you to know exactly what he/she wants and attune yourself to it, which simultaneously buys you the time to assess if the person is right for you or not.

Lastly, you have to know what you want before entering the dating scene again. You will be able to evaluate your wants, desires, needs by asking yourself personal questions and answering them as honestly as possible. Think of it as part of the healing process and a way to get to know yourself better.

Dating after a divorce should not put a pressure on you. Just pace yourself so that when you are ready to date again, it will not be so difficult on you to make the necessary adjustments.

To learn more about fitness singles please visit fitness dating.

Article Source: Dating after a Divorce

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Marriage Counselors

Marriage Counselors work with married couples to either help them handle marital discord or enhance the marital relationship. Marriage counselors are schooled in teaching couples conflict resolution skills and communication skills.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Online Affairs

The main appeal of an online affair would be the ease in which a person can engage in the affair. Secondly, there is the belief by some that if you aren’t actually coming into contact with the person, the it can’t be classified as infidelity.

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Major Points About Divorce From A Chicago Divorce Attorney

Divorce isn’t quite as easy as many people think. For many people, divorce is their first experience with courts and the legal system. For other people, negotiation efforts, including asset division, child custody, alimony, and other issues can be settled without the need for a trip to court. However, the laws on divorce differ by state, so it is best to consult an expert. For instance, if you are contemplating a divorce in the state of Illinois, obtaining legal representation by a qualified Chicago divorce attorney can ensure a smooth and fair divorce settlement. The following overview provides crucial information about the legal grounds for divorce, child custody issues, alimony, and the division of assets.

The Legal Grounds for Divorce

The Petition for the Dissolution of Marriage can contain one of two terms, “fault” or “no fault.” Every state has different laws about the classifications of these two terms. If a married couple has lived apart for more than two years, with irreconcilable differences destroying the marriage, the divorce is classified as “no fault.” Alternatively, a married couple breaking up due to adultery, impotence, more than two years or alcohol or drug abuse, or other negative reasons, is usually classified as a “fault” divorce.

Dividing Shared Assets

Assets, or property, jointly owned by both the husband and wife must be divided during the divorce process. Many circumstances determine whether an asset acquired before the divorce decree is eligible as a shared asset to be divided. For instance, the divorce law in Illinois lists several conditions that distinguish assets as either “marital” or “non-marital.” These conditions include agreed exclusions, inheritances, and income from “non-marital” assets. A divorce lawyer in Chicago can give legal guidance so that all property divisions are both legal and agreed upon.

Child Custody

One of the most difficult aspects of a divorce is negotiating and making child custody agreements. In most divorces, both spouses want more custody than the other wants to agree to. Judges usually consider many issues before making a child custody decision in court. While judges do listen to the wishes of the child, the physical, mental, and emotional growth of the child usually take priority. The ability and willingness of each parent to continue a healthy relationship with their child is a major consideration in custody hearings.

Alimony

Spousal support, or alimony, issues also differ by state. In the state of Illinois, the amount of spousal support is figured by several factors that include the earning ability and monetary needs of both spouses. A major issue for determining alimony is whether the years of a spouse’s devotion to staying home and taking care of both the home and family damaged that spouse’s ability to obtain a job making a satisfactory living wage in the future. A qualified Chicago divorce attorney is beneficial in establishing and presenting a spousal support claim.

Consulting A Chicago Divorce Attorney

Divorce is an involved and complicated procedure. Even divorces that start out friendly and straightforward can turn into emotional messes, especially in a marriage with children and child custody issues. Couples contemplating a divorce should always contact an experienced lawyer in the state where they live. If you reside in Illinois, consulting a Chicago divorce attorney is vital in protecting your custody rights, receiving a fair share of marital assets, and in making sure your future is safe in the case of need for permanent or temporary alimony.

People seeking divorce are often fooled into thinking their spouse will be fair and objective when it comes to custody, division of assets, and spousal support. Ultimately, emotions usually take over, making the process nerve-wracking. A divorce lawyer in Chicago can negotiate for you without letting emotions cloud the process, ensuring a fair and smooth divorce.

Christine O’Kelly is a writer for VojtaLaw.com, a Chicago divorce attorney specializing in divorces, separations, adoptions, paternity, child custody and spousal support. Vojta Law is always willing to assist with those needing a divorce lawyer in Chicago.

Article Source: Major Points About Divorce From A Chicago Divorce Attorney

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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

By: Divorce Advice For Men

Alaska Divorce Laws

What you need to know about divorce laws in Alaska

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Threats To Intimidate

When someone uses threats to intimidate they are attempting to break your will and take your power away from you. The intimidator tries to create fear in their victim. This is a form of covert abuse. There is no physical violence, just words meant to destroy you psychologically.By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Save Money On Your Divorce

In this article, a divorce lawyer and a financial planner explain twenty-one practical ways to save money in a divorce.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Delaware Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Delaware divorce laws.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Passive Aggressive Victim

What is the pay-off for the passive aggressive who plays the victim? It is a ploy they use to turn the tables and make them appear to be the injured party.

Credit: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now