Marriage- Divorce- Repeat- Marriage- Divorce- Repeat

 

On the home page of my website I have a quote saying “Over 60% of re-marriages end in re-divorce.” I frequently get asked, “Why is the divorce rate higher?” People state confusion over this because they believe that since they’ve been divorced once before, they’ll know the danger signs to look for and they are more determined to have what they call a “successful” marriage.

All of that sounds good, but let’s look at what the realities are. The following are some of the most common reasons for a higher divorce rate in remarriage.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

A remarriage has one of the same partners who were present in your last marriage.

Most people don’t take the time to evaluate WHAT went wrong. They just assume the problem was the WHO. Unfortunately that’s not the case. It’s important to look at what happened to cause the marriage to deteriorate. While it’s tempting to assume that your ex-spouse was the problem, they weren’t 100% responsible. Without taking time to look at YOUR part in the marriage’s demise, you are destined to repeat the similar, if not the same, mistakes.

A divorce experience doesn’t suddenly reveal special awareness of relationship danger signs.

Unfortunately, people jump into new relationships way too quickly after their divorce. They are not truly prepared to be in a committed relationship in the way that a new marriage requires. Most people are still reeling from the many changes and/or losses they experienced as a result of their divorce. Continuing to be wrapped up in what happened in your last marriage doesn’t build a stable foundation for a new marriage.

Remarriage commitment is less than in a first marriage.

By being in a remarriage, it means one member of your couple has been married before. If the previous marriage ended in divorce that means a conscious decision was made to terminate the marriage. That’s a boundary which was crossed over. After that boundary is breached once, it is much easier to come to that conclusion again. Divorce isn’t an unknown entity. You may not have liked it but you endured it. Because of this, it becomes a more viable option than it did in a first marriage as soon as things get rough.

A step family is an unknown in our society.

Step families are quickly becoming the most common family unit, but does anyone have a clue how they are supposed work? We still base our ideas of family on the old standard of a nuclear family (mom, dad, and their biological children.) A step family does NOT fit this mold. When new step families see that their family doesn’t come close to resembling what they expected, it’s common for them to start questioning their decision to remarry.

Divorce is painful. There’s no getting around it. You hurt, you ex-spouse hurts, and your children hurt. Rather than running to the altar because you’re “in love”, take time to step back and prepare. Don’t put yourself and your children through the pain of another divorce. Be wiser. Be a better partner rather than just looking for a better one.

A great first step in that process is with our free Article Archive. You’ll have instant access to over 40 great articles on life after divorce, dating, and remarriage preparation. Get all the details by visiting http://www.RemarriageSuccess.com/prearticlesubscribe.htm

Article Source: Marriage- Divorce- Repeat- Marriage- Divorce- Repeat

 

Original: Divorce Advice For Men

New York Divorce Laws

What you need to know about New York divorce laws.

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Child Custody: Keep The Decision In The Family

 

Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

The guardian ad litem should investigate and report the situation of the family to the court so that a good custody decision can be made. Some do just that, and are of a lot of assistance to both the lawyers and the judges. However, too many take sides, and are not objective. A judge who takes such a report as gospel is bound to make a bad decision that is not only not in the child’s best interest, but that may be downright damaging.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

As I said, not all “GALs” are bad. I had one recently who did a good job. His report was not in my client’s favor, but I could see that he had done a lot of work before he came to his conclusion.

In addition to visiting each of the parent’s homes several times, he investigated their medical records, job histories and references. He pointed out the weaknesses on both sides in an objective and fair way. After reading the report, I could advise my client to accept his recommendation with a clear conscience.

My most recent experience with a GAL was not nearly so sanguin. She visited both parents, but only reported what they showed her. The man had sense enough to have children’s books and toys scattered around his living room when the GAL came to see him. He lied about the kids’ medical records, and swore that TV was never on when he was home to play with them.

My client was a careful housekeeper. The kids’ toys and books were picked up when the GAL came to her house. She admitted that the kids watched TV occasionally, and that she had had a loud fight with her boyfriend when the kids were not there.

My client had had custody of the kids for a year and a half between the provisional hearing and the final decree. The father had been unwilling to change his visitation times so that his daughter could attend kindergarten. AS a result, she had to miss 2 days each week so that her mother wouldn’t be held in contempt of court. The father didn’t pay a dime of support, despite the fact that he had been ordered to, and that he had a good job throughout the case.

Even the questions the “GAL” had the parties fill out before she started her investigation showed that the father was being less than honest. Still, the GAL recommended that the father be given custody. I wrote to the lady several times, trying to get her to correct her mistakes. I provided documentation and referred her to the written answers to her own questions. After 3 letters from me, she wrote back, informing me that she never revisited a case, and I could take my complaints to the judge.

We had a final hearing. I did point out the inaccuracies in the GAL’s report. During the hearing, I got the distinct impression that the judge understood my observations. Nevertheless, he ruled in the father’s favor.

From this experience, I hope to emphasize how risky it is to let a third party decide your custody issue. Your judge may be careful, and generally make the right decisions. Some cases could go either way, in that both parents would provide a good home to the child, and are equally close to him. There are enough cases, however, that can turn on misinformation, making it more likely the wrong decision will be made that an extra dose of caution is warranted.

If you and your spouse can’t agree on custody, you are risking one of you being unhappy with the court’s final decision. A guardian ad litem may do a good job of investigating your situation. However, it is possible that poor training or personal prejudices, or plain human stupidity may make a fair report impossible. The judge, too may not be able to reach a good decision because of inadequate information or the other reasons just mentioned. This is why it is always better if the parents can work together to come up with a parenting plan that is appropriate for their children and their family’s circumstances.

For good clear information about divorce issues, visit Lucille Uttermohlen at http://www.couple-or-not.com Send your legal and relationship questions to lucille@utter-law.com for a quick, thorough response.

Article Source: Child Custody: Keep The Decision In The Family

 

Original: Divorce Advice For Men

Washington Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Washington divorce laws.

Credit: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Congressman Joe Walsh Sued For Unpaid Child Support

I've been glued to CNN watching news of the debt ceiling negations, or non-negotiations. Joe Walsh has been all over CNN and has become the unofficial voice of the Tea Party over the national debt.

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Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support

Marital Relationship

We’ve all been around couples who have a relationship that seems flawless. You know the couples I’m talking about, the ones with an obvious healthy marital relationship. They never argue, are able to work through conflict as it arises with ease. There is a constant show of affection, love and support for each other.

Credit: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

The Divorce Process

Making the decision to divorce, to no longer stay in an unhappy marriage is the first step in the divorce process. Once that decision is made you need guidance and an understanding of what lies ahead once the divorce process begins.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Spousal Abuse Legal – Do the Divorce Lawyers and Family Courts Get It or Not?

 

Battered women, who are victims of spousal legal abuse, tell me, “The courts and attorneys don’t get it!” These women truly believe that the court agents don’t understand domestic abuse. But the fact is the divorce lawyers and family court agents do understand. They most definitely get it!

The one who doesn’t get it is the battered woman. I certainly understand how that is and why they don’t get it. Read on because the sooner you get it, the sooner you will help yourself.

Reality of Legal Help for Abuse

You see domestic violence survivors turn to the legal system to help protect them and their children from abuse. Sounds reasonable, right?

BUT here’s what happens… The legal system lifts up the family veil and sees all this ugly mess. They think they are looking at “bad boys” and “crazy girls.” Or, at least that’s what the respective parties tell them.

Since these legal folks, employed by the domestic violence family, must eat and need shelter like everyone else, a fee is tied to their services.

Now the person who holds the key to the family purse is the one who has inherent ability to turn on and off the money spigot. And this financially fortified fellow can direct the cash flow as he desires.

Inside Story for the Legal Helpers

What usually happens is the divorce attorneys must find a way to keep all of the employed individuals paid to some extent to keep “the party” going. But the day comes when the litigants tire, or self-destruct, or their family well dries up.

And on this day, the tide turns…big time. And the battered women and their counsel are left in the wake. As the domestic violence survivors struggle to swim afloat…they shout, “The attorneys and the courts don’t get it!”

You see, they know they are the abused and they remain perplexed as to how it is and why it is that these legal folks didn’t protect them from abuse.

Ray of Hope for Battered Women

There is a way to reach out for help and navigate the system, without drowning in the wake. You must see the system for what it is and use it to your advantage.

You must recognize you are a player in a larger puzzle and you have a place in the system. You can weather this storm and even make it to the other side without becoming penniless, homeless and childless. You MUST get it, before it gets you1

For more information about spousal legal abuse, visit http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_ab use.php and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps domestic abuse survivors block legal-psychiatric abuse in divorce and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Article Source: Spousal Abuse Legal – Do the Divorce Lawyers and Family Courts Get It or Not?

 

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Repressed Emotions

If you are living in an abusive relationship, you’ve learned to repress your emotions. Repressing emotions can cause physical illness. Stuffing your feelings can cause depression, chronic fatigue, cancer and many other serious illnesses.

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Is It Domestic Abuse or Normal Marital Conflict?

My ex-husband left me accusing me of domestic abuse. I remember standing rooted to the grounded when he told me he was leaving because I had "abused" him. It was dark out, he had moved out three weeks before with no explanation and when he finally gave one, it wasn't what I was expecting.

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Via: About.com Divorce Support

Child Support Enforcement

Social Services Amendments of 1974 created title IV-D of the Social Security Act, which was signed into law on January 4, 1975.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

How to Choose a Divorce Attorney

 

When you are getting divorced or are about to get divorced, it’s very important that your best interests are protected. For this reason, you may decide to hire a divorce attorney to represent you in the court case. How do you know which attorney to hire? Well,

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

there are several different things you want to look at before hiring any attorney so that you can be sure that he or she will protect you to the best of their ability. Here are some important tips on how to choose a divorce attorney.

Get Recommendations -

If you know someone else who has gone through a divorce, you can ask for names of attorneys that they used. Of course, if possible you want to get some information on how the lawyer worked for them and what the result of the court case was. Many times, this is the best way to obtain a lawyer because you’re able to get inside information on how the lawyer performs, what sort of price he charges and how the court case turned out. You can ask your friends, family, business associates or other people that you’re close to. This is a great way to find a competent divorce attorney to represent you in your divorce case.

Ask about the Attorney’s Wins and Losses -

While every attorney will not win EVERY one of his or her cases, it stands to reason that you want an attorney who has had more wins than losses. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask an attorney about their previous cases as far as wins or losses, in fact – you should absolutely ask them. This will help you determine whether or not you want to hire them. The best idea is to speak to a few attorneys that you’re interested in and compare information so that you can find the best one out of the bunch.

Are You Comfortable Talking with the Attorney?

If you do speak with a few different attorneys, it’s important to consider how comfortable you feel speaking to them. An attorney can only best represent you when you are comfortable with them and feel perfectly comfortable talking to them about the relationship and the things that transpired in the relationship. Again, compare your instincts and feelings about the attorneys you speak to so that you will know which one is right for you.

Ask about the Prices -

Of course, the biggie is the price the attorney charges. You need to ask about prices with each of the divorce attorneys you speak with in order to determine the best value. Also, ask them if there are any ‘hidden fees’ or if you will only be paying the price they have quoted you over the telephone or during your consultation. This is important because many times, attorneys will tack on fees that you didn’t know you would be charged. This can turn out to be a real pain, so make sure you ask this question.

When you consider each of the points above, you will be able to choose a divorce attorney that you will feel comfortable with and that will fight for you to the best of his or her ability in the divorce. Good luck.

Danielle L. Taylor is the author and editor for Xstilla.com one of the most active divorce support communities in the Web. To learn more about divorce, child support, dating or to discuss your problem with understanding members of the community visit Xstilla.com!

Article Source: How to Choose a Divorce Attorney

 

Source: Divorce Advice For Men

Divorce FAQ

Getting a divorce is not a complicated process. There are certain requirements you must meet based on your state’s divorce laws before you file for divorce. Once you have filed for divorce other factors such as child support, spousal support and division of marital property come into play.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

What is Mediation

Meditation during divorce is a way of finding solutions to issues such as child custody and spousal support. It is an alternative to formal process of divorce court.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Mastering Fear in Your Divorce

Thanks for visiting our divorce website. You will find the latest information, discussions about the pros and cons of each aspect, and also, a large community of readers who regularly share their ideas and opinions on the latest developments. It is as important now as it ever was to examine the issue carefully. After all, without the facts, how can we know we are making the right choice?

We recently came across the article below and we have posted it on our site because it addresses some of the unanswered questions and raises some new ones at the same time. If you like what you see here, be sure to come back and, let your friends know.
 

There’s nothing like getting divorced to kick up a whole new dimension of fear. Will I be alright? Will my children grow up emotionally scarred from my relationship breakdown? Will I be able to cope financially? Am I doomed to be single? What if my next relationship tanks too? Underlying these questions is fear.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Some of this fear is primal and wired into your neurological system. Fear is supposed to have you pause and make sure there aren’t any Saber-toothed tigers lurking around. A lot of fear is simply old programming you inherited growing up. I don’t think many of us had parents who encouraged us to “Go out and take some risks today, honey!” More often the messages we had growing up were to “be careful!” or “watch out!”

When you’re in the transition from one phase to another, your mind feverishly tries to assess and analyze that future state before you’ve actually experienced it. I’ve broken down the word “FEAR” into the following acronym: “Feeling Expansion And Resisting.” When you take on new challenges, you push the envelope of your comfort zone and expand. Creating a new life for yourself as a divorced person is definitely such a challenge! Fear is like a warning system that is triggered during that expansion and causes you to pause, to re-assess whether you really want to leave familiar ground and venture into the unknown. So how do we master your fears?

View fear as a positive sign that you’re making progress.

I now use my fear as a confirmation that I’m moving in the right direction and making progress. Rather than trying to squelch those feelings, what if you welcomed fear as a sign you’re moving ahead. If you’re not experiencing some degree of fear, chances are you’re not stretching too far out of your existing comfort zone.

Feeling uncomfortable with new things is normal.

Whether it’s going on your first date post-separation, your first weekend without the children or planning your first “solo” vacation, the first time you do anything new is going to feel awkward or uncomfortable. You’re building new neural pathways in your brain that will allow you to carry out that new task with ease. It takes time and repetition to build those pathways successfully, so acknowledge yourself for being willing to try something that feels uncomfortable for you.

Identify the level of fear you’re experiencing.

It’s useful to get more specific with the kind of fear you’re having. Are you afraid for your physical well-being or are you simply afraid that you might make a mistake? These two very different levels of “fear” require a different response. Speaking your fears out loud or writing them down will help give you some perspective on the type of fear you’re experiencing.

Just Do It.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot “think” your way through fear. Fear dissipates once you start to take action. Identify the smallest, bite-sized baby step you could take and simply start with that. Even the smallest action will give you new perspectives and insight on how to get what you want and generate some momentum to move through your fears.

Watch your Language.

Our parents were definitely on to something with this warning! Even our choice of words we use can subtly keep us stuck as a powerless victim of our fears. When we get fearful and want to resist change, we’ll often say “I can’t” do it. Why not be honest about it and say “I won’t” do it? The statement “I can’t” sends the subconscious message that you’re weak or a victim of your circumstance. The phrase “I won’t” leaves room for you to take responsibility for your actions and determining your outcome. Instead of labeling something as a “mistake,” what if you called it a “learning opportunity”? Watch your language and choose words that leave you feeling energized and empowered.

Try it, you’ll like it!

When you feel in that place of indecision or fear about the next step to take, I recommend viewing your next move simply as an experiment. You can take that next baby step. If you don’t like the results it produces or how it feels, you can always go back to doing things the way you used to. Why not at least give yourself the experience first before you judge yourself. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Expanding your Horizons.

Did you know that coral in calm waters looks very different than coral in turbulent waters. If sheltered from ocean currents and winds, the coral is small and colorless. On the turbulent side of the reef, the coral is large and incredibly colorful. Choosing to act in spite of your fears, you open yourself up to life experiences that bring you wisdom, depth, levels of self-reliance and confidence that might not otherwise be possible.

I invite you to embrace your fears and stop using them as the excuse for not giving yourself whatever it is you want in your life. To help you with that, here’s a prescription from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do one thing each day that scares you.” After 30 days of following this prescription, I have no doubt you’ll be astonished at your results.

Carolyn B. Ellis, author, spiritual divorce coach and founder of Thrive After Divorce Inc. If you want simple life-changing tips for single parenting, visit Thrive After Divorce now to receive a FREE report.

Article Source: Mastering Fear in Your Divorce

 

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Divorce

People have many questions about divorce, what a divorce involves, how to proceed with a divorce and so on. Therefore, I will try to answer some of the most common questions people seem to have when faced with divorce.

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Divorce Records- Cross Check Of Bride Or Groom

 

Divorce Records- Cross Check Of Bride Or Groom

Author: Divorce Record

The US statistics show that around 50% of the married couples apply for divorce each year. To lower the rates of divorce the government has set up many marriage counselors but still not much positivity could be inserted into the channel. Hence, the US government has also introduced the system of online divorce and quick divorce to make the procedure hassle free for the interested couple. The divorce records are also maintained side by side along with the specific reason of divorce. One can now access this divorce record through online methods as well. This is a good tool to cross check the history of your to-be spouse. Let us know more about the reasons behind why one should cross check the history of the spouse through the divorce records.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Divorce Records- Reasons Of Cross Checks

Divorce is not always for emotional dissatisfaction. A strong percentage of the people get divorced due to physical assault, sexual assaults, forgery, attempt to murder, property and monetary dispute and other underlying criminal issues. So it is more than just essential to cross check the past life of your to-be-spouse as a safety measure. There are many online agencies in the USA that run and maintain the divorce records. They maintain the records assorted state wise. Some of the agencies charge for their services and others give it free of cost. Let us now discuss the steps associated with availing this service.

Online Divorce Records Agencies

The divorce records contain the name of the person, the number of divorce undergone and the underlying cause behind all the divorces. This data is accessible to all. You can read the other details of the person in question and then decide whether to move ahead with the marriage with this person or not. You simply need to register with the respective websites to avail this service. For registration you need to follow the steps mentioned in the websites. For more information on the matter you can search the net. This trend of checking the history of the person is fast catching the trend in the USA and other countries as well. Join the trend today for a safer future.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/divorce-records-cross-check-of-bride-or-groom-1847811.html

About the Author

Divorcerecord.us.com is a recognized and trusted Divorce Records online information provider. You will get all information about the Divorce Records of brides and grooms.

 

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Warning: Your Spouse May be Hiding Money During Your Divorce!

Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think.  Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets?  Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children.  Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets.  Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.

 

Collaborative Divorce

A collaborative divorce occurs when spouses are able to work out an agreement with going to divorce court.

Credit: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Divorce and Credit Card Debt Doesn’t Have to Break You

 

Divorce can be a trying time at best. And, when you bring finances and credit card debt into it, it’s overwhelming. Instead of thinking for one household, you have to plan for two. It will be easier for spouses that work together during this transition than for those who fight for every penny.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Going through a divorce can be an emotionally traumatic time. Creating a plan to split assets and credit card debt will help tremendously to ease that trauma. Financial companies will consider that any debts that one person in a marriage incurs belongs to both. It will take time to notify everyone about the changes that will occur.

The plan that is put in place to handle credit card debt must allow for an equitable division of those debts. Both parties will likely suffer if the decision is allowed to be made by the courts. This is especially true if child support issues need to be considered. So, it is best to have a plan in place before divorce proceedings begin. It is not necessarily best to have a 50-50 split. A lot will depend upon the income of each party and how much of the debt was incurred by each. If there is only one breadwinner in the family, it will be more difficult to split the debt fairly.

In cases where there is massive debt, there are even more problems. Debt such as this will probably necessitate the sale of the family home. The proceeds from the sale would go to pay off all debt. Any remaining funds is usually divided between the couple. If there is no family home that can be sold, a plan will need to be put into place for either a loan or a bankruptcy action. There may also be retirement accounts that can be liquidated and other household furnishings that can be sold to reduce the debt.

It may sometimes be necessary to contact the credit card company to let them know about the divorce and your plans on how to pay their balance. The company may be willing to divide the balance between you by creating a new account for an agreed-upon split for the other spouse. It is best to negotiate with the credit card company before divorce proceedings have been started.

Another option may be for both people to open brand-new credit card accounts and pay their fair share to the original balance. This is usually done as a balance transfer, however, usually a credit company will provide checks so that you can write one to the original company.

If there is more than one credit card to be dealt with, each spouse could take on the ones that would add up to their agreed-upon balance.

When both people in the marriage have a plan in place before the dissolution of that marriage, a lot of the problems that come from it can be reduced. Even though there can be a lot of recriminations and arguing between the couple, a solution can usually be worked out. Some sort of plan can be helpful even if you can’t come up with the total solution. Attorney fees can be cut drastically when a plan to set up beforehand.

Eliminate the Nightmare of Credit Card Debt. Find out how easy it can be for you right now at…http://FixingPoorCredit.com

Article Source: Divorce and Credit Card Debt Doesn’t Have to Break You

 

Credit: Divorce Advice For Men

Why It Hurts To See An Ex Dating Again

Whether the divorce was your idea or your spouse's, most people find themselves experiencing negative emotions when their ex-spouse starts dating again. Does this mean you still love them? Are these feelings normal? These are common questions you may ask yourself when your ex-spouse starts dating again. Below are tips that will help you process those negative emotions.

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Via: About.com Divorce Support

Hawaii Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Hawaii divorce laws.

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Financial Stress

It can be hard enough to keep a marriage together when times are good, let alone surviving something as stressful as financial hardship. Financial stress can lead to arguments, resentment, conflict and even divorce.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

How to Get Custody, Part 2

We take a look at Child Custody in the following article. It is a good place to start if you are new to the subject and there is a lot more information available on our Men's Divorce blog if you want to make a more detailed study.
 

How to Get Custody, Part 2

By Jason Bryant

Nothing can describe the pain that comes with a family being torn apart. Often, this pain is inflicted worst of all on the mother of the household. Unfortunately, marriages in this day and age are at their most volatile, and people are constantly finding themselves embroiled in messy divorces and child custody hearings. The bond between a mother and child is said to be the strongest thing in the world, so if you’re a mother going into a custody hearing, then you’re probably looking to gain an advantage in the case. What you need more than anything is information – a detailed guide to everything you could want to know about custody cases.

That guide is now available, in the form of a massive 1,200 page collection of information on child custody. Compiled by two psychologists with 30 years in the field of custody and family psychology, this package contains everything that a mother needs to be successful in winning custody of her children. Having been involved in many child custody cases, these doctors have witnessed every dirty trick in the book, and will show you how to fight against them. Plus, you’ll learn what strategies you should employ to help secure custody of your children.

Two of the most important things outlined in this package can absolutely make or break a custody case. The first one is an important piece of information that even some veteran custody lawyers don’t know about. The second is a common mistake that many people make without even realizing – a mistake that dooms their case from the get-go. This package also contains information on what traits will convince a judge to side with you. You’ll find information on how to conduct a successful custody evaluation, what you need to know about child support, how to testify, and much, much more.

This package will also help prepare you for the worst. Some parents, usually those who are only interested in child support and not in actually caring for the child, will employ highly unethical tactics to win the case. This may include turning the child against the mother through bribes or even “brainwashing.” The effects of these strategies can be devastating to a mother and to her case. Even though they are the very definition of “unethical,” these tactics can destroy a custody case if you aren’t prepared for them.

Another major issue that sometimes crops up in these cases is where the mother has a minor physical illness or disability that is held against them in the custody case. It may not in any way affect the mother’s ability to care for a child, yet it can still be the deciding factor in a custody case. This custody will help you formulate a strategy if you suffer from a minor disability.

Right now, the comprehensive 1,200 page package is available for just $129. This small fee can bring a lot to your case, even though it’s only a fraction of the amount that gets spent on legal fees.

About the Author: Jason Bryant has a very lucrative career in online business ventures, one of which includes his success with marketing How to Get Custody.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=402998&ca=Legal

 

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Infidelity Statistics

Statistics pertaining to infidelity amongst married men and women.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

The Complexities of Military Divorce

Question: Is Divorcing A Military Member More Complicated?

Answer:

I wouldn't say that military divorce is more complicated. It is different with it's own unique rules regarding division of military pensions, residency requirements for filing for divorce, certain legal protections for the military member and emergency court orders pertaining to child support. Once you become familiar with the rules and federal laws that apply during a military divorce the divorce process is pretty straightforward.

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Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support

Child Custody and Support

West Virginia Child Custody and Support Guidelines

Origin: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

How To Divorce Proof Your Marriage

 

Let’s start with an underlying assumption, good relationships are not easy. When NBC did a story called Project Everlasting, they interviewed 200 couples who had been married at least 40 years and every single one of them said they had been through some rough times. So the road to love is not smooth. When these couples were interviewed every single one said that respecting each other was important and I agree.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

You can respect someone without loving them but you can’t love someone without respecting them. When you respect someone you treat them in a different way then when you don’t respect them. Respect means not belittling their ideas. It means listening to them and not cutting them off. Respect can be looking up to them or defending them because you think they are right. It can be a lot of different things to different people but the bottom line is you treat them like they matter. When you treat a spouse with respect you build them up. When you don’t, you tear them down. Which manner will result in having a powerful union?

The 2nd thing that is needed to create a strong relationship is the ability for each side to compromise. You can’t always have everything you want all the time. Resentments will build up if one person takes more than they give. But at the same time you shouldn’t be playing goal keeper by making sure everything is exactly 50/50. When both of you have an intention to be respectful of each other and to allow the other person to have their way half the time, the place you are coming from should just naturally create many satisfying results for each of you. This was another element our 200 couples mentioned and as a divorce lawyer I KNOW compromise is the life blood of creating win/win deals with people.

The 3rd thing you must have is open and honest communication. Most people are not mind readers and shouldn’t be made to feel like they don’t really know or love you unless they automatically understand what is going on with you. Give an emotional weather report. Directly say what you need and want. Don’t wait for that one last straw that breaks the camel’s back to blow up. Things don’t need to get to that point if you are regularly communicating what is going on with you. When you are talking don’t blame the other person for making you feel a certain way. No one makes you feel anything. That is YOUR choice. There are no victims when people take responsibility for their choices. It is perfectly valid to say, “when you do that I feel this.” You are not blaming them for anything. You are just letting them know how you feel. Take responsibility for making sure the other person hears what you are saying. There are 2 parts of a conversation. You are responsible for making sure the message you are saying is getting through and you are responsible for hearing what they are saying too.

Peter Drucker, renowned management specialist, says that 60 percent of management problems result from faulty communication. According to criminologists, up to 90 percent of all criminals have problems with interpersonal communication. And according to a leading marriage counselor, at least half of all marriage breakdowns are caused by faulty communication.

Effective communication is based on knowing our thoughts, desires, motives and feelings – being honest with them and expressing them creatively. People who deny or suppress their inner feelings and true desires fail to communicate effectively and can never discover true intimacy.

The 4th thing to keep in mind is to pick your battles. I have seen this over and over again in court as people dig in their heals on issues that are meaningless. Never fight and bicker over meaningless things like the best way to clean the sink or if the toilet paper rolls over or under. You better save your energy for things that really matter. When you don’t sweat the small stuff life is a lot easier and you are a more pleasant person to be around. I am NOT saying to stuff what really bothers you but if leaving the toothpaste cap off bothers you that much, you need to toughen up. An easy going person is a lot easier to live with forever than someone who has a chip on their shoulder.

The 5th thing to remember is you have needs too. It is natural to want to make your mate happy and support them in any way you can but when you give up your own life to accommodate their needs without a reciprocal concession on the other person’s part, you cease to exist. It is very rare that a couple has the same needs at the same time. Expect to be traveling different paths at certain points. This is when compromise is really important. If you end up moving to support their career on the promise that after a certain period of time they will do the same for you (or whatever your deal is going to be), get it in writing and have a penalty if they don’t follow through. Throughout history martyrs are often killed. Why should you be any different?

The last thing you need to maintain a long term relationship is honesty and trust. These really are the back bones that everything else is built on. If you don’t have an underlying sense that your mate has your back and can be counted on to tell you the truth, you are just fooling around. I have seen all trust crumble away as a spouse gets caught in little lies over and over again. Not knowing when your spouse is being 100% truthful really erodes the respect and remember you can respect someone without loving them but you can’t love someone without respecting them. Don’t make excuses for telling white lies. OK, if she says, “Does this make me look fat?” and you feel like she won’t change her clothes if you say yes, then you can lie but if you continually underestimate what you are spending on purchases or overestimate how much time you actually need to travel from work to home, after a while your spouse just isn’t going to trust you.

Think of the two of you as Bonnie and Clyde. You want a stand up cohort who has your back no matter what. You have to KNOW they are going to split the loot with you even steven and that you don’t have to keep that gun under your pillow just in case they sneak up on you. You want a partner you can count on. Some one who will fight against the world with you not against you. You want someone you can trust to drive the getaway car and not rat you out to the cops if they are caught. If honesty is important between thieves, it should be to you too. Or maybe this is just my vision. See, everyone needs to have a vision of the kind of life and relationship they want. They need to enroll the other person into their vision or create a joint vision and then keep creating that vision together. When you aim for a target there is a LOT more chance of hitting it then just randomly shooting at nothing in particular. You create your life through intention and action. So given all I have just said, do you see areas of your relationship that you can shift or expand in such a way to create the marriage you now envision? What can you do today to take a step in that direction? I wish you good speed on your journey and know that you can create the relationship you intend.

Belinda Rachman, Esq. has been a divorce attorney since 1996 and married to the same man since 1987. For those who need a divorce, please encourage them to have a peaceful one so they can save money, protect the children from a nasty fight and reduce the stress. Bookmark this address so you can share it later and be a force for good. http://www.divorce-inaday.com

Article Source: How To Divorce Proof Your Marriage (from a divorce attorney)

 

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Divorce and Your Credit Score

Steps that need to be taken to keep divorce from ruining your credit.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Midlife Crisis Spouse

Setting boundaries with your midlife crisis spouse means knowing when to say “NO.” You will not allow your spouse to abuse, control or manipulate you. You will not allow your spouse to draw you into their midlife crisis.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Child Custody Issues – Mediators

Many men facing a divorce with children involved want to know more about Child Custody. Are you one of them? If so, you might find the following article helpful right now. We hope you find some good pointers.
 

Child Custody Issues – Mediators

Author: Janelle Elizabeth

The right and obligation to care every day for and make major decisions for a minor child is called custody. This may be subdivided into sole custody and joint custody. The initial is once just one parent takes care of the child as the latter is whenever both mom and dad share in major decision-making and spend substantial amounts of time independently with the child. This is an unavoidable area of the divorce proceedings of couples with one or more kids, specially minors.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

When taken to court, custody is awarded to the parent/s according to the best interest of the child. Many different factors are considered when determining the child’s best interest, including health and sex of the child, the primary caregiver prior to the divorce, willingness to care for the child, parenting skills, emotional ties between child and parent, readiness in facilitating visitation by the other parent, and each of the parents’ physical, mental, financial and moral fitness.

Mothers and fathers have equal rights to custody under the laws of almost all states. There are certain countries, though, which have laws that grant automatic custody of children seven years old and below to the mother. Yet, generally, courts should not assume that a child is automatically better off with the mother or the father.

In spite of this supposed impartiality, a lot of family court judges have biases as by-products of their history and emotional experiences. Some can have a deep rooted belief that women can watch over children much better than men who, in their eyes, have limited know-how in parenting. Others could have an innate conception that fathers are instinctively better at parenting male children.

Theoretically, judges should be fair and neutral

 

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Divorce and Finances

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average woman’s family income drops by 37% after divorce. In other words women suffer more financially than men do from divorce.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Has Your Marriage Been Negatively Impacted by Sexual Addiction?

According to Jerry Kennard, "sexual addiction is an overwhelming desire to have sex. Sexual behavior becomes a problem and is considered an addiction when it is repeated often enough to interfere with normal daily living. Addictive sexual behavior interferes with relationships, work, friendships, and lifestyle."

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Save Money On Your Divorce

In this article, a divorce lawyer and a financial planner explain twenty-one practical ways to save money in a divorce.

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Why You Should Stop Your Divorce

 

The good news is that the alarming growth in the divorce rate has turned around. Even so, the divorce rate is still around %50. Many couples believe that saving their marriage isn’t possible. Somehow a divorce seems simpler. The fact is that divorce has devastating and long lasting effects on those involved including friends and family members.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

There are some very good reasons saving your marriage as well. Many people considering a divorce imagine that happiness lies on the other side of the fence. Research however suggests that this isn’t true. A survey of people who have gone through divorce showed that in general they weren’t happier.

Getting a divorce may be jumping the gun. A recent study showed that 2/3 of people who were unhappy in their marriage and on the verge of divorce said that they were happy in their marriage five years later.

The majority of happily married couples have experienced extended periods of unhappiness. The key point is that it is important to be committed to your marriage. Don’t throw away years of happiness in order to avoid short term problems. There are many ways to stop a divorce, there are a few tip to get you started.

1. Communication is key

I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but it’s still true. You must communicate on a deep level with your partner regularly. “On a deep level” doesn’t mean discussing who is going to pick up the kids from school or trying to remember when the oil was last changed in the car. Spend some time talking about your feelings about your relationship. Discuss the things that are important, not the trivial stuff life throws at us.

2. No Relationship Is Perfect

One of the hardest lessons I’ve ever learned is that when fantasy becomes reality, it’s never quite as good as you imagined. When you are under a lot of stress at home, it is easy to slip into an imaginary world where everything is perfect. You imagine that being with a different partner would be perfect. Perfect relationships only exist in our heads. Enjoy you fantasies but don’t fall into the trap of believing that they are real.

3. Seek Help To Stop Divorce

You can stop your divorce if both of you are willing to make the effort. In addition to the desire to save your marriage, you may need some outside help. Help is available. Public libraries have lots of books on the subject of marriage advice. Many products are available online. If reading isn’t your thing then you may prefer these products. Live one-on-one counseling is also available. Personal counseling can be expensive but sometimes it is the only method that works.

Remember that divorce has its repercussions as well as huge financial setbacks. But more importantly, it destroys a marriage and fully ends relationships. If there is till love in your marriage, then it’s possible to stop your divorce.

Jake Jafims is a relationship expert based in Cleveland, Oh. If you’re ready to save your marriage then it’s time to get more help. To see all of the top online resources, visit -> http://www.GetMarriageHelpNow.com

Article Source: Why You Should Stop Your Divorce

 

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Cell Phones And Cheating

Emotional affairs occur primarily via the Internet and phone, especially cell phones. If you find your spouse hanging up suddenly when you enter the room or erasing the history on the cell phone and becoming defensive when asked about it, then you might want to add this behavior to your list of suspicions.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Cheap Divorce: A Simple Yet Ingenious Plan

 

Myself and my (now) ex wife, found it rather easy to divorce, and this was mainly due to the methodology we used. It’s a simple strategy and it’s something that is guaranteed to save you money.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Here it is, your pathway to a cheap divorce, in easy to follow steps -

First we both decided that lawyers would not be called until a mutually agreed time, or if things got a little out of hand, and we couldn’t remain civil while we went through our plan.

Next we both went round our home, and made a list of everything we had in there as well as everything that WE each wanted. So if I felt the TV was/should be mine, then I made a note of that. My wife did the same.

We chose to go round the house at separate times of the day, as we weren’t getting on at the time (hence the divorce I guess), and we compared notes the following day. At our meeting we both went through each others lists, and shouted and complained if someone had named something as theirs, that the other party felt shouldn’t be, and we went on like this for most of the day. It’s a fairly painful process, but it needed doing in order to save cash, but this could just as easily have been done via email if things had gotten nasty.

The day after that, after many phone calls back and forth, we came to an agreement on who gets what.

Next was the money side of things; again this took a few days, and we each shouted a lot, and finally sorted the accounts, the property, and the debts.

Lastly, we wrote all this up and made two copies, which we each signed, and had independently witnessed.

It was then, and only then, that we called our lawyers. We each handed our lawyers the signed papers, and said to them, “make this legal”, and that was it; a week or two later we had our legal document for the divorce, and all went ahead smoothly, as we had sorted everything out prior to meeting and instigating the proceedings.

Can you see how much time and especially money, this could save you?

It’s painful, horrible, bitter and and can be stressful, but aren’t all divorces? Isn’t it better to come out of this process, stressed, and a bank account fairly split, and still intact?

It made sense, and worked wonders for us. We worked out that we saved, about $5000 in legal wrangling and arguing through lawyers. You should do this too.

Sean Redfearn is a divorcee and runs a website on Cheap Divorce

Article Source: Cheap Divorce: A Simple Yet Ingenious Plan

 

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Rebuild Your Life After Divorce

To rebuild your life after a divorce you may have to find a new home, build new friendships, start a new career or learn to live life as a single parent. How successful you are will depend on how well you were able to deal with the stress generated by your divorce.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Have You Found Yourself Relegated to The Bottom of The List When it Comes to Intimacy With Your Wife?

Research shows that more than 43% of women suffer from low libido or a lack of desire for sex at some point in their life. A woman's desire for sex can ebb and flow because of hormone fluctuation, stress, relationship issues and spiritual beliefs. Below are some of the reasons women find themselves suffering from low libido:

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Stalked by Ex

Is your ex stalking you? Would you recognize stalking behaviors and be able to protect yourself against a stalker? Stalking by an ex-spouse is a serious crime and one where law enforcement officials should become involved.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Receiving Divorce Advice is Crucial for Your Future

 

Receiving Divorce Advice is Crucial for Your Future

Author: Jamie Hanson

Going through a divorce is not something easy and very many people suffer from depression and other emotional conditions. The divorce makes you aware of the things you will need to change in your life such as the relationship with your spouse as well as finances. The divorce process is sometimes complex and require the intervention of attorneys and this is why many people go for divorce advice to help them in the process. Having someone offer you advice will help you make the right decisions in matters pertaining to finances and property.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

Regardless of your decision for settling for a divorce, you need to be fully prepared and thus getting a lawyer to offer divorce advice for men is very important. Whether or not your ex spouse wants all your money or just wants things to be settled peacefully, you need proper advice to protect you in future. Using the services of a divorce lawyer will help you protect the most important things in your life against exploitation from your ex.

Once you have started the divorce proceedings, getting out can be really difficult especially if you do not have good divorce advice for women. You need to have proper tips and advice on how to cope with the possible changes that will take place once your divorce has been finalized and the things you need to do. The first thing you need to do is know what steps to take and if you are not well conversant with legal terms, you need expert divorce advice. You will need to understand the right procedure to take before and during the divorce proceedings as well as what you will do afterwards.

Getting divorce advice for women will help you know what types of forms and papers to file, what are the regulations governing divorce in your state, settlements, alimony, child support and other complex issues that might arise during the divorce process. Your ex will definitely get an attorney and you should do the same if you want the settlement to be fair and just. The legal expert you choose should also provide you with divorce advice of the changes that will happen after the divorce is finalized. If you have children, you will have to deal with shared parenting, thus using experienced lawyers will help you very much.

Instead of using the services of an expensive attorney to help you in the divorce proceedings, you can also invest in online ebooks that will provide you with all the divorce advice for women that you need. These ebooks will help you know ways of preventing your spouse from hiring the best lawyers and how to get the best things for yourself. Divorce is pretty hard and you need not stress yourself by not getting the right divorce advice.

Looking for Divorce advice for men? Find out more about divorce advice for women.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/receiving-divorce-advice-is-crucial-for-your-future-2102309.html

 

 

Source: Divorce Advice For Men

Abuse Checklist

Are you being abused? Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

W. Virginia Divorce Laws

What you need to know about West Virginia divorce laws.

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Maryland Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Maryland divorce laws.

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Custody and Support

Missouri Child Custody and Support Guidelines

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Is The Violence In Your Home Harming Your Child?

Children are the lost victims of domestic abuse. I receive emails from women who are living with domestic abuse in their marriage that are full of pain over what is being done to them. There is an internal conflict exhibited by the women I hear from..."do I leave him, do I stay?"

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By: About.com Divorce Support

What Causes Passive Aggressive Behavior?

Obstructionism is the deliberate obstruction of progress in a relationship. The passive aggressive person obstructs progress by resisting following through with expectations in interpersonal relationships

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Fear Of Anger

Some people have a fear of anger and of expressing their anger. This is invariably because they come from a family where one or both of their parents or other caregivers were angry in a mean, violent way – a way that caused harm to others.

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Colorado Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Colorado divorce laws.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Fear of Dependency

Some spouses have a hard time letting their partner know they have any needs at all. These spouses have a “fear of dependency.” Their fear of becoming dependent upon their spouse is so strong that it is imperative to them to remain completely dependent and self-sufficient, not ever admitting to any needs.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

DIVORCE VIRGINIA

 

DIVORCE VIRGINIA

Author: setra401

Getting a divorce Virginia style can be a complex thing to understand. According to the state of Virginia Code – Title 8 – Sections: 8.01-261, “In suits for annulment, affirmance, or divorce, the county or city in which the parties last cohabited, or at the option of the plaintiff, in the county or city in which the defendant resides, if a resident of this Commonwealth, and in cases in which an order of publication may be issued against the defendant under § 8.01-316, venue may also be in the county or city in which the plaintiff resides.”

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

In Virginia there are fault and no-fault divorce complaints that can be filed (in many states, this is called a “petition”, so in Virginia this is an important distinction that you need to know about).

For no-fault grounds, if the husband and wife have been separated and not had any sexual involvement continuously for one year, and you have at least one child, you can file on these grounds. If you and your spouse have a written separation agreement and there are no minor children involved as biological, step-, or adopted children, and you’ve been separated for at least six months before you apply for divorce, you can also get no-fault grounds divorce.

You can file on fault grounds in Virginia if:

*You can prove adultery or sodomy on the part of your spouse outside the marital agreement and without your consent.

*Your spouse has been convicted of a felony such that you have not lived with them or been able to have sex with them for at least one year before you filed for divorce.

*Your spouse has been “guilty of cruelty, caused reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt, or willfully deserted or abandoned the other” according to Virginia Code – Title 20 – Sections: 20-91

Also, you need to know that Virginia is an “equitable distribution” state, so your property will be divided up by the court in a way that the court finds to be fair–and this will not necessarily be an equal (that is, a 50/50) distribution of property and assets.

Not all divorce settlements in Virginia will end up awarding one of you with spousal support from the other.

The bottom line is, if you are going for divorce Virginia style, you will need to get a hold of a good Virginia state lawyer who understands the state laws and case precedents inside and out, so that your interests can be protected. Don’t try to do anything regarding divorce without a lawyer.

For more information on getting a Divorce in Virginia, filing for divorce info and tips… go to the Divorce Virginia Blog.

Article Source: http://www.articlealley.com/divorce-virginia-793685.html

 

 

By: Divorce Advice For Men

How to Communicate

What we don’t hear is what communication is and how to communicate in a marriage. You see, communication is more than the ability to open your mouth and spew forth words. It takes skill to communicate properly and if you aren’t communicating properly you might as well be talking to a wall.

By: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Warning: Your Spouse May be Hiding Money During Your Divorce!

Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think.  Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets?  Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children.  Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets.  Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.

 

Get a Civil Annulment

A Civil Annulment is the legal process a couple goes through to have their marriage declared null and void.

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