Divorce is usually a one-sided decision which catches a husband off guard. Very rarely do couple sit down and come to the decision to end their marriage together. In most situations a husband is left to struggle with the consequences of his wife's decision to file for a divorce. It isn't easy to deal with the admission by a wife that she no longer wants to be in the marriage.
...Source: About.com Divorce Support
Paperwork and filing for child custody go hand in hand. Because there are so many forms and papers, it can be easy for a divorcing parent to get confused and frustrated. And, it makes it even more confusing because every state has different papers that have to be filled out. However, even though the states have different papers, the general forms are pretty common. Here is an overview of the papers you need to file for child custody.
If you are the parent who is starting the child custody case, then you will fill out an initial paper to start the court case. This first paper filed is a summons and petition for child custody–or something with a similar title. This paper has the name of the child or the children involved in the custody case, and in most states it is accompanied by a restraining order. This restraining order says that neither parent can take the children out of state until the case is settled without written permission of the other parent and the court. Once this paper is filed, it is served to the other parent. The other parent then fills out a form that is a response to the petition for custody.
There are fees when you are filing your papers for child custody. If you cannot afford these fees, then there are papers you can file that waive them. Every state has some option for waiving the fees–so talk to your county court to find out more information.
After the first papers are filed, most of the other papers have to do with your custody agreement. There are papers to file about what type of custody you and the child’s other parent want to have, the visitation schedule, the holiday schedule, any provisions and stipulations you want in the agreement, and child support papers. When these papers are filed, the court uses them to cement your custody order.
Sometimes states have you fill out one set of papers if you and the children’s other parent agree on the visitation schedule, type of custody, etc. If you do not agree then you fill out a different set of papers. When you are filling out papers when you don’t agree, you fill out the schedule, type of custody, etc. that you want the court to accept. Be prepared with documents and evidence to show that your plan is in the best interest of the child.
These are the basic forms for filing for child custody that are required in almost every state. There are additional forms if you have an unusual case or if there are other circumstances (for instance, if the parents of the children were never married, there are forms to establish the relationship of the parents to the children). Don’t ever hesitate to ask questions at the courthouse where you get your papers or to look online for more information about your state.
Find out more about child custody papers and get more information about filing for child custody.
Article Source: Child Custody Papers and Filing for Child Custody
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Have you ever had a wonderful day with your husband only to be rejected sexually at the end of the day? You lay in bed replaying the events of the day in your head. There were no arguments; you both appeared to be enjoying yourself. It was an expensive outing at a local mall but your husband didn't complain, he even made several purchases for himself.
...When you’re going through a divorce and dealing with custody issues – your first thought may be that you should have custody. If this is because it’s in the best interest of your child, by all means, you should pursue it. However, if you are doing it simply to keep your spouse away from your kids because you want to hurt him or her – you should reconsider. The only thing that will accomplish is hurting your children as well and they could grow to resent you for keeping them away from their other parent. That said, here are some tips for how to win custody during a divorce.
Prove That You Are the Best Caregiver -
The courts will always have your child’s best interests at heart. This means they will consider who the best caregiver is based on the household situation and living arrangements, family income and the ability to provide for the child, who will care for the child while you’re at work and more. The key to winning the custody case is to show that you’re the best caregiver for the child. If you’ve been the primary caregiver for most of the child’s life, you will have something great going for you. For instance, you may be a stay at home mother. Be sure to prove that you’re the best caregiver for your child.
Show Evidence of Your Concerns -
Many times, courts make their decisions based on evidence that a certain parent may not be the best parent. If there is any evidence that your spouse is not the best permanent caregiver for your child, you need to have it. For instance, there may be times that your spouse didn’t do what he or she was supposed to do with the child. They may have forgotten to drop them off here or there or they may not have all of the important information for your child, such as medical insurance, school information, etc. This is information you need to show the court to prove that you are the best caregiver.
There may also be witnesses who can help your case. For instance, if your housekeeper or a family or friend has seen your spouse return the children at a later date than he or she was required to or without the necessary items, these people can help you.
Your Child’s Opinion -
If the judge were to ask your child right now who he or she wanted to live with, what would your child say? Depending upon his or her age, their opinion may be taken into consideration. In fact, if your child is at a certain age, his or her opinion may be the deciding factor as to who is granted custody. This is why the parent who has taken care of the child primarily for most of his or her life gets custody in a large percentage of custody cases.
While there is no sure way to win custody cases, these things play a huge part in who gets awarded custody. By knowing this, you can be prepared to show that you are the best choice for the primary caregiver and that your spouse is not the best choice. By following the above tips for child custody cases, you can do just that.
Danielle L. Taylor is the author and editor for Xstilla.com one of the most active divorce support communities in the Web. To learn more about divorce, child support, dating or to discuss your problem with understanding members of the community visit Xstilla.com!
Article Source: Child Custody Secrets – How to Win Custody During a Divorce
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
If you-re considering divorce, have you stopped to think of the possibility of alimony? Not only is there a possibility that you could secure alimony payments from your spouse, but there is a possibility that you could have to pay alimony payments to your spouse. While divorce is more common today than say, 50 years ago – alimony is still not clearly understood by many people. Here is some more information on alimony and who has to pay it.
Divorce school: What is alimony?
alimony was established at a time when divorce was actually pretty rare. Of course, with the belief that man and woman had an obligation and a responsibility to care for each other during marriage came the belief that at times, it should extend to a certain extent after a marriage as well.
Although not all divorced individuals were ordered to pay alimony, depending upon the circumstances they would be ordered to do so. As time passed, it was more common for both men and women to be ordered to pay alimony rather than just the husband. Now, alimony is not quite as common, but in special circumstances, alimony payments will be ordered.
When is alimony Ordered?
Many times, individuals are ordered to pay alimony for special circumstances. For instance, let-s say a husband and wife are married for 10 years and the husband worked for 5 of those years to support them while the wife obtained a degree – he may be ordered to pay alimony.
Similarly, if a husband and wife are together and both agree that the wife will stay home to take care of the children, the bills, the house and everything else that involves – the husband may be ordered to pay alimony to the wife. There are different circumstances and if the couple can-t agree on the terms, the decision is made by the judge after having taken the situation into careful consideration.
What to Do If You Want to Pursue alimony Payments:
If you-re divorcing and you feel as though you should qualify for alimony payments, there are several things you can do. First, speak with your spouse and appeal to his or her fair side. In some cases, the spouses agree to alimony payments and don-t need to prove anything to the judge. However, if this doesn-t work, hire an attorney or let your current attorney know that you are seeking alimony payments and inform him or her as to why you feel you deserve them. Keep any proof of the facts which may help you qualify for alimony – such as receipts where you paid for bills, communication with your spouse where he or she admits to what you have contributed to the relationship, etc. This will help you secure the alimony.
alimony payments can really help in situations where one spouse has no income or has much less income than their partner. In some cases, it-s just plain fair to receive alimony payments. Using the above information, you can determine whether you deserve alimony payments and how to go about getting them.
Danielle L. Taylor is the author and editor for Xstilla.com one of the most active divorce support communities in the Web. To learn more about divorce, child support, dating or to discuss your problem with understanding members of the community visit Xstilla.com!
Article Source: Divorce School: Understanding alimony
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men
If you are married to a passive aggressive then you probably already have a sense of what will come once you decide to divorce a passive aggressive. You may believe that divorcing a passive aggressive will once and for all mean no longer dealing with the repercussions of his/her odd behavior.
...With all of the fighting and tension that can come in a child custody situation, it’s no wonder that many divorced parents say they’re going through a custody battle. There are a wide range of topics that parents can disagree on and it can be very difficult to come to a resolution. Many parents want to make their child custody battle less of a war and more of a negotiation and working together–this takes a lot of the stress out of the situation and is better for the children. Here’s some advice on how to bring some peace to your battle.
1. Create a fair visitation schedule. Don’t try to trick your ex out of any time with the child. Sit down and create a legitimate schedule that gives appropriate time for your custody situation to each parent. This way if your ex hurls accusations against you, you can calmly show the calendar and explain how everything is fair.
Also, be flexible about your visitation schedule. Don’t be stubborn about things that don’t really matter–if your ex wants visitation on a certain day, don’t block it unless you have a really good reason. Divide the holidays, school breaks, and vacation time fairly too. When the child’s other parent sees you acting equally and fairly it, he/she should follow suit.
2. Don’t get angry–write it down. If your ex is constantly doing things that go against your child custody agreement, don’t pitch a fit. Rather, explain to the child’s other parent that you will be keeping track of these offences to show the judge in court. Write down the date of the offense and what happen (like, your former spouse dropped the kids off an hour late). Keep a record of these, and then bring them to court and show the judge.
This is better because if you want to petition for a new custody order you will have the evidence you need. And, when your former spouse realizes that they aren’t pushing the buttons they want–and that there will be consequences in court if they continue their behavior, they’ll most likely stop.
3. Focus the communication on your child. You’re going to have to communicate with your ex. This may be unpleasant, but it is a reality. So, in order to make this productive, focus your discussions on your children and pertinent information. Maybe you want to schedule a time each week when you talk about the kids. This way you can get everything prepared and know exactly when you will have to talk to your ex. Keep the meeting or conversation focused on the kids–you may even want to set an agenda so you don’t get sidetracked.
If your former spouse starts to argue about other things, respond with “This is the time to talk about the children. If you like we can discuss that issue at another time.” When you’re just talking about the things you have to you won’t have as many arguments.
Not everyone can have the ideal situation of having a peaceful child custody case. But, you can lessen the battle and have more peace concerning yours if you create a fair visitation schedule, are productive with your anger, and focus your communication on your children. Hopefully then you can spend less energy fighting and spend more of your energy parenting.
Find out more about bringing peace to your child custody battle and get more child custody advice.
Article Source: Child Custody Battle: Advice on Bringing Peace to Your Custody Case
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think. Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets? Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children. Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets. Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.
Imagine the horror of sitting in child custody court as the judge tells you there is an error with your custody forms so your plan is rejected. You went to all of the hard work to make a parenting plan and a visitation schedule, and you don’t get through court because of a technical problem with your papers. No parent wants this to happen–but it does happen. It’s important to have the necessary child custody papers filled out correctly so the court can adopt your visitation schedule. Here are three common errors that you need to avoid in your papers that can affect your child visitation.
1. The papers aren’t entirely completed. There are a lot of forms and papers to turn in for child visitation. It can be easy to overlook a paper or a section of a paper. Be sure that you look through all of the forms to ensure that all of them are finished. If you have questions about what you filling out, set the form aside until you get the information you need. Don’t put it back in a pile of papers where you can forget about it. You don’t want the reminder to come up in court.
It’s also important to have a thorough and completed custody and visitation schedule to present to the court. A lot of times you fill in parts of your schedule on the various court forms, but it never hurts to have a completed calendar with all of the custody and visitation times on it. This is a good indication that you have thought through your child visitation case and the court will be impressed.
2. Missing forms or papers. Papers are easily lost in the shuffle of moving them. Be sure that you have a method to keep everything organized so that nothing gets lost. Another common way to miss papers is to not even know they’re required. Make sure you know every form and paper that needs to be filed. Double check to see if you have all of the papers and forms. If you have questions about if you need to fill out certain papers, ask at the courthouse when you pick up your papers. Don’t wait until your court day to find out.
3. Inaccurate information. You should never lie on your child custody forms. Most parents don’t lie, but there are cases where there are mistakes made on the forms. If you have errors regarding numbers that you’re reporting (like time-share percentages or income for child support) the court will not take your papers. Be very careful about the information you turn in. If you aren’t sure about what information you’re supposed to give, ask questions until you find out. Don’t just assume something and write it down. You also want to check to make sure that any calculations are correct. If you are calculating overnight percentages, for example, make sure that you follow the right formula for the state and double check your math.
The overall method to make sure that you file accurate visitation papers is to take the time to fill out the forms and to double check all of your work. It’s worth the few extra minutes here and there to check your data and to look through the papers. Make sure all of your papers are there, that they are completed, that you have the forms required, and that all of the information written on them is correct. This will allow you to relax when you file them with the court.
Learn more about child custody papers and get more information about child visitation.
Article Source: Child Custody Papers: Errors That Affect Visitation
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men
You have to admit, Christmas is a special and important time of the year. It is especially important if you are married and have children. Christmas as a divorced parent can be just as special if not more special if you put forth a little effort.
...“Any time I make a decision, I suddenly have three more things to decide on. I don’t think I can keep up!” came the frantic voice of my friend Alise over the phone. Alise had been going through the process of divorcing her husband and every week she had a whole new set of daunting decisions to make. She was feeling completely overwhelmed trying to make the big decisions of who keeps the house and cars while trying to continue to make the small decisions in every day life, like what to fix the kids for dinner. Alise continued, “And, now I need to come up with a child custody schedule that works for me and is good for the kids–but is also something Jon (her ex) will accept. I just don’t know where to start–who do the kids spend Christmas with? How about their summer vacation? How do I do this?”
Tara’s predicament as a newly divorced parent is a common one. She was feeling overwhelmed trying to come up with a custody schedule so that her kids could see their father and have time with him, but also have a practical schedule that she and her ex could work out and agree on. Of all the decisions to make in a divorce, the child custody schedule is of upmost importance–because what is more important than your children? However intimidating making the visitation schedule seems though, there are ways of making the project more manageable. Here are three suggestions for making a child custody calendar–so you can take a deep breath and eliminate some of the stress.
1. Make the plan out of love for your kids. I know this seems like an obvious one–but it can be easy to forget in the middle of such a huge project. A lot of parents will sit down with the best intentions, but as the process goes on they start thinking less about what is best for the children and more about what is convenient for them. Of course you love your children and you want them to be happy. When the task of coming up with a visitation calendar is getting so complicated that you just want to throw in the towel, think of little Timmy’s happy smile and remember the reason behind all of this. You are performing a labor of love for your child. The investment you put into this custody schedule will pay off big dividends for your kids having good relationships for both parents.
2. Schedule as much time as possible with your children–but be fair to your ex. Of course as a parent you want to see your kids as much as possible. But, you need to remember that your children have another parent and they need to see them too. Whether you’re the custodial parent or not, you can create a schedule that gives both parents substantial time with the children. Don’t be selfish with holidays. Pick two or three that are important to you, and realize that for some of the important holidays your kids will be with you ex. This can be a disappointing realization and there will be other feelings that go along with this. You will be able to work through those feelings (and as you work through them, go back to the first suggestion). You love your kids enough to make some sacrifices.
3. Focus on the times you get to spend with your children. Whether you’re the custodial or non custodial parent, focus your energy into planning the fun times that you have with your children. Instead of being sad that you don’t have the kids for Christmas, plan an extra fun weekend for Thanksgiving. That way you (and your kids) will enjoy the time you have together without letting bitterness get in the way. And, this will make it more fun as you plan your custody calendar. As you are going through the tedious process of figuring out the custody schedule, you’ll be having some great ideas of the fun things you can do when the kids are with you.
The process of divorce is very difficult. But, as you get through all of the decision making and adjusting, you’ll be able to find the stable life you want again. Once that wonderful child custody schedule is in place, you’ll be able to relax and just enjoy the time with your kids.
It’s easy to create the perfect Child custody schedule and Child visitation agreement with the right program.
Article Source: Child Custody Schedule: 3 Ways to Help Create the Perfect Child Visitation Agreement
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
If you are divorced and share custody of your children with your ex, you have a court ordered visitation schedule. Most of the time these court ordered visitation schedules are in the best interest of the parents, sometimes the best interest of the children. Parents naturally want to spend as much time with their children as possible during the holiday.
...Credit: About.com Divorce Support
Divorce is an extremely nasty process to go through. Feelings get hurt and, if children are involved, things can get really horrible. But after the dust has settled, the house may end up looking a little bare. The bedroom, especially, will look strange as you get used to having someone else’s belongings, possibly including the bedroom furniture, in your private sanctuary. The best advice? Start over.
Culling Things Out
One way to start moving on from the divorce is to make sure that all of your ex’s belongings are out of the house and bedroom. You may have been hanging onto them for sentimental reasons, but if you are going to regain your life, you need to start with a clean slate. Go through the bedroom and empty out all of the drawers, making sure to toss anything that was your ex’s into a pile. If the photos on the wall remind you of your ex, put them in the “get rid of” pile. Cull out the closet and leave only the things that are yours. Make sure your ex gets everything of their back and you should be looking at a brand new room, ripe for decorating with new master bedroom furniture!
New Colors
You might want to start entirely fresh and repaint your room. Most of the time, when we’re living with someone else, we compromise on the master bedroom furniture and paint the walls a color that we have both agreed upon. Go with what you want! If you’ve always wanted to have cranberry walls, paint them that color. If you love pumpkin spice, buy a few gallons and splash it on the wall. Feel free to paint the walls whatever color you’d like, because doing so will help you proclaim the room as wholly yours.
New Furniture
Your bedroom furniture may have gone to your ex during the divorce proceedings, or you may look at a piece and remember the shopping experience with your ex that got you that particular piece. Either way, new master bedroom furniture is in order. Start with the bed, because that is probably the place that the two of you spent your most intimate moments together. Feel free to look at beds, like those from The Fashion Bed Group, and choose what you like. After all, one of the privileges of being divorced is that you don’t have to compromise when decorating your home anymore! Don’t feel as though you have to go to a smaller bed size, because you never know when you’ll have another partner in the bed with you!
New Look Entirely
If you do purchase a new bed, go for a new bureau and night stand as well! You may want to purchase a bedroom set, like those contemporary bedroom sets that you’ve always seen and lusted after. Make the bedroom your sanctuary by getting new pillows, a new comforter, and new lamps! You don’t necessarily need to match things together, but go for a look that screams “this is me!”
Ben Weissman writes articles about using Metal Beds, Headboards and other Contemporary Bedroom Furniture to Decorate Your Home. You’ll find more Interior Design Ideas at http://www.Home-and-Bedroom.com . Make your bedroom into a personal retreat!
Article Source: Bedroom Furniture After Divorce – Should You Change It?
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
Guest Blog Post: Deborah Moskovitch
One of the most harrowing twists and turns of the emotional roller coaster ride called separation and divorce is the first year of celebrating the holidays uncoupled. In fact, there is so much uncertainty and fear over this time that some would rather skip it altogether.
...Credit: About.com Divorce Support
We live in the day and age of no-fault divorce. Every state in the United States has now adopted no-fault divorce laws. One of the main arguments for this is that no-fault divorce laws cut down on conflict. A concept used by those who have evidently never been through a divorce...fault or no-fault.
...If you’re facing the break up of a marriage, then it’s always difficult but many couples worry about the financial ramifications of such a decision. The good news is a cheap divorce is possible in many situations. I’ve experienced one myself and can testify that even though it was emotionally difficult it was the easiest financial decision I’ve ever made.
Because our relationship was not encumbered by children, we were in a good shape to complete a cheap divorce. Not everyone will want to take this route because it can be a challenge, particularly if one or both sides are resentful over the ending of the relationship. However, if the two of you can be civil then a cheap divorce is obtainable.
Most of the work on our cheap divorce was done via email so we could minimize face to face contact. Being in the same room together always resulted in an unproductive argument, but we could communicate easily online. You can do whatever works for you, even sending the information by fax is affective.
First, you should go through the personal belongings in the home. These are going to be the most difficult items to divide in a reasonable fashion during the cheap divorce so it makes sense to begin there. Everything else will be a piece of cake from now on. We had to schedule separate days to go through the house and to make lists of everything we wanted. I made two columns: things I had to have and things that were negotiable. When I emailed my ex the list, however, I combined everything. The second list was to help me decide which items I would be willing to negotiable on.
Second, we exchanged lists and gave each other a few days to look over them. At first, I was angry about some of things being asked for. Then I calmed down and was able to think rationally enough. We were able to reach an agreement on the items each of us wanted. Some of the things that neither of us had a real connection to were sold and we agreed to split the proceeds as part of our cheap divorce agreement.
Third, we decided to go through all of other joint materials, including checking and savings accounts. Again, we decided to split everything down the middle. The debt was a little more challenging to divide. However, we were able to negotiable an equitable agreement there as well. It took a few days and many, many emails but we were able to communicate amicably enough to achieve the cheap divorce goal we both wanted.
Finally, we were able to write up our formal documents that outlined everything we had agreed upon. Then we contacted our lawyers and handed over the lists so they could finalize and legalize everything we had already done. Because we had been able to do all of the hard work ourselves, we saved a fortune on the costs and achieved a cheap divorce that made both of us happy.
Sean Redfearn runs a website www.thedivorceinsider.com. He is experienced in Cheap Divorce
Article Source: Cheap Divorce: It Can be Done
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No BS Divorce Strategies For Men
Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men
It is usually money and children which cause the problems when a marriage breaks down.However emotional issues and heated exchanges may often arise over who will have the family pets Battles over with which spouse the family dog, cat or even budgerigar will live are far from unknown. The family pets are considered members of the family and when the family breaks up questions of residence for the animals and even contact rights can be contentions.
Applications to the Courts are being made where a judge is being asked to rule on who is to have a pet where “custody” is disputed. Although new to the UK, where there is no certain precedent or relevant law, court battles over family pets are well established in the USA. The American courts have shown that they will follow the principles applicable to children and consider what is in the pet’s best interests. A court in Virginia decided in one case that a cat’s happiness took priority over the property rights of the parties.
The courts in the UK will adopt a more traditional approach in which an animal is considered a chattel and matrimonial property just like anything else. Although this may well be good law, pets are not the same as the family car, washing machine or three-piece suite and things become much more emotional. Disputes over animals have been known to predominates and take over from everything else when otherwise an amicable division of the family assets could have been agreed. The family pet is the sticking point, often providing an outlet to vent personal frustrations which might otherwise not have surfaced.
Most cases involving animals are settled before they reach the point of having to be decided by a judge. The costs involved in employing a lawyer for days on end to argue a claim for a favourite pet would be prohibitive. Notwithstanding the question of cost, the best approach, however attached you may be to the animal, remains to try and negotiate an agreement With the law as it is in England and Wales, the best interest of the pet will not be considered and the pet will continue to be treated as the parties personal property. Lawyers will usually tell you that the toss of a coin is the best way to divide up personal property.
Where there is a pet to whom you are particularly devoted it is always best to discuss what should happen in the event of a breakup and record this in a separation or post nuptial agreement. Above all, always be realistic about the practicalities of keeping a pet if you are going to be by yourself. Think how it will fit in with your living arrangements and working hours. In particular never try to take a pet away from your children. Be open to a compromise agreement with shared care of the pet. Most important, as with children always remain calm around the pet as they can be very sensitive to conflict which may make them frightened or nervous.
Andrew John is an associate lawyer with Legal-Zone, a group of independent UK lawyers working online to provide affordable legal advice. Their website contains free information on most common legal issues including divorce and family problems.To find out whether Legal-Zone can help you if you have a legal problem or question go to > http://www.legal-zone.co.uk
Article Source: Divorce and Family Pets: Legal Advice
Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
We all want the best for our kids, whether it’s the best schools, the best opportunities and even the best arrangements when it comes to child custody. The first thing we must realize is that cutting our ex spouse out of our child’s life in order to hurt the spouse is NOT what’s best for the child.
Never keep your child away from your spouse because you are angry at them. Your child could end up resenting you or being very hurt because they’re unable to see their other parent. Once you understand this, there are some other great tips to negotiate the best arrangement for your child.
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Try to Compromise with Your Spouse – The best kind of arrangement is one where you and your spouse are able to see the kids equally. Of course, they will need one stable environment to reside at during the week, but perhaps your spouse could see them daily by offering to drive them home from school. By compromising with your spouse and removing your feelings from the situation when you’re negotiating, you can arrange what is absolutely best for your kids.
The Primary Residence or Guardian – Typically, if parents can’t decide who the child will primarily reside with, the judge decides based on several things. For the most part, the person who has been the child’s primary caretaker for most of his or her life will have a good chance of becoming the primary guardian. This may mean the person who has handled school issues, doctor or medical appointments and other important things. The judge will also take into consideration who is best able to provide for the child and similar important factors. Remember this when you’re negotiating the best arrangement for your child.
If Your Child is Over the Age of 11 – When your child is around the age of 11 or older, he or she may have a large say so in where they stay. What is your child’s opinion and who does he or she desire to live with? You should definitely take this into account because in the event that you and your spouse cannot decide where the child should live, the judge will want to hear from your child. Of course, the judge will not put the child with a parent that is unfit, even if the child desires to be with them, but the child’s opinion will greatly affect the custody case.
Be Reasonable – If your spouse is a good parent, do not be against the idea of visitation. If there is no reason why you should want to keep your spouse away from their kids other than because you want to, the judge will not think you’re being reasonable or fair and it could look bad for you. Also, your spouse’s attorney could grasp onto that and make it seem as if you’re trying to hurt your spouse and your children because of your own childish emotions.
Although divorce is difficult and custody cases sometimes become nasty, these tips will help you know how to negotiate the best possible arrangement for your child. By taking these into consideration, you will be better able to negotiate to the type of arrangement you want, your child wants and your spouse wants.
Danielle L. Taylor is a freelance writer and mom of 3, who’s gone through a devastating divorce with her husband of 15 years (after his infidelity) and was able to get back on track as a strong, happy and free person. She is a member of http://www.Xstilla.com one of the most active online divorce communities, where people find support, help and understanding.
Article Source: Child Custody Arrangements – How to Negotiate the Best Arrangement for Your Child
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Source: About.com Divorce Support
Realizing you have little control over what happens “over there” at your ex-partner’s house is an issue many newly divorced parents need to let go of.
It’s not uncommon for the difference in parenting styles between parents to become very apparent after separation. Children usually experience some transition time to get used to the unique rhythms of each household.
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Realizing you have little control over what happens “over there” at your ex-partner’s house is an issue many newly divorced parents need to let go of. Too often divorcing parents spent far too much time and energy focusing on how things are working, or not working well in their former spouse’s household, instead of zeroing in and taking action on what is going on under their own roof. Ultimately, all you’re really able to control is being clear about the expectations you have for your children and being consistent with them.
With the homework issue, for example, let your children know that they are responsible for getting their own homework done in time for school regardless of whether they are at mom’s or dad’s house.
You can also set up a discussion with your ex to discuss the transition between houses. Approach it with the intention of seeking cooperation and keeping your children’s best interests in mind. Be factual and describe what you see. Avoid the temptation to editorialize and share your opinions about the motives and behavior of your former spouse if you want the best shot of having a constructive conversation.
For example “When the kids come back to my house, they appear overtired and don’t have their homework done. They have a hard time getting to school the next day.” Leave any editorializing or judgment out. For example, “Aren’t you paying any attention? These kids are cranky and running wild at your house!” is not likely to foster open dialogue.
You must also be open for feedback on what’s going on at your house from your ex as well. Communication is a two-way street after all. It requires listening, as well as honest, constructive dialogue. It might not be easy at times to engage in the discussion, or to listen to the feedback, but remember your ultimate goal is to do what is in the best interests of your children. Being able to have a good working co-parenting relationship is a key ingredient to your children’s successful transition through divorce.
Success Strategist, coach and author, Carolyn Ellis, is the founder of ThriveAfterDivorce.com and ThrivePrinciples.com. Her mission is to empower others to turn adversity into opportunity so they can improve relationships, increase self-confidence and reach their highest potential. To receive a special gift, visit http://www.ThrivePrinciples.com
Article Source: Separation and Divorce Tips: Different Parenting Styles after Separation
Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
Dr. Oren Hernandez, a Florida marriage counselor, developed an eight question "Divorce Test," which he claims can help determine if your marriage is on the right track. Is your marriage headed for divorce? Answer 8 questions to find out if your spouse is right for you...TAKE THE TEST
Credit: About.com Divorce Support
Hitting a bump in the road in the course of a divorce can be extremely frustrating especially when you just want it over and done with. A divorce proceeding can be delayed for several reasons, ranging from custody battles to alimony payments. You will do well to settle all your disputes before approaching a divorce table to avoid delays.
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A divorce takes two just as it takes two to tango. Don’t be quick to heap the blame of divorce on your ex because if you do, you won’t grow up. Learn to examine your contribution to your divorce as it will enable you mature and give you the wisdom to learn how to prevent another divorce in future.
Becoming revengeful in the course of a divorce proceeding will not help you or your spouse. The fact about the matter is that a tit for tat attitude in the process of a divorce can make it a volatile one. A good divorce advice is for you to both be mature about your divorce if you are going to make any headway.
Divorce lawyers are growing fat thanks to all the money that they make off divorce cases. Divorce is becoming big business and more lawyers are opting for divorce law. As brutal as it sounds, divorce is a viable means of income for divorce lawyers these days. You have a choice to decide not to add to this source of income by ensuring you remain married or ensuring that you next marriage works!
Your mental attitude can go a long way in determining if your divorce will be stressless or not. If your mental attitude is negative, you will be stressed up during the divorce. There is a law of attraction that you need to apply if you are to enjoy a hassle free divorce; think good things and good things will come to you!
Online scams make it necessary for you to be careful when you are looking for an online divorce agency or service. Make sure that you understand the conditions of service as offered by any online divorce firm before you sign on.
Before you start a divorce proceeding, make sure that your finances add up. Most people get stuck at the stage where their finances are to be shared because they aren’t even sure about how much they have. In getting a divorce accurate financial knowledge and information is crucial.
Accept the fact that your spouse is different from you. Accepting the differences in your spouse can help to develop your relationship. What’s a marriage without a few differences? Knowing this and accepting it can help to prevent a divorce.
To read more,visit http://www.afterdivorce101.com/
Article Source: Divorce: As An Issue And As A Form Of Business
The demand for child custody advice has risen dramatically over the last 40 years. The reason for this sharp increase for information is that more and more married couples are seeking legal separation or divorce. This can mean a great deal of pain for children involved – unless the parents can keep their “fight” away from their children’s eyes and ears. It also points to the great need for good legal advice for each parent.
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It seems that most parents would agree that the most gut wrenching, and heartbreaking consequence of divorce is deciding the details of the custody of their children. The parents may not love each other anymore but, they still strongly love their children and feel a need to protect them – this means a need to physically be with them, and that means wanting custody.
As a result then, in cases of marital dispute, the custody of the children becomes paramount in the minds of the parents. Due to the high emotional pain this decision can inflict, it can quickly take the separation or divorce from an amicable discussion, to one of very heated strife.
A good lawyer, who considers not just the end result of custody, but also the welfare of the children during the court proceedings, should do his/her best to shelter the children from the pain of the custody battle. It is important for parents to keep in mind that the end (custody) doesn’t always justify the means (painful battling where the child suffers).
Despite the common sense notion to keep the kids out of it though, many parents will blindly do “whatever it takes”. In the worse case scenario then, tragically, the children can become a weapon used by the parents to inflict hurt and pain on each other. Unfortunately, when this occurs the children may well become the most traumatized mentally and emotionally of all concerned. When this occurs, the parents should seek the advice of qualified professionals, to guide them in providing help for the children.
Fortunately most children are very resilient, but even the strongest may need additional help from all concerned in the divorce or separation. The parents need to remember that they are the primary caregivers for the children whether they are married or not. This means using good lawyers who don’t need to slander and torture the other spouse to reach a reasonable settlement.
It’s also a good idea, where possible, to get legal advice before a separation occurs. If one is considering a separation or divorce, a visit to a lawyer can often be very helpful in knowing one’s rights. Advice about who will likely get what based on your current living situation an financial ability can be quiet enlightening and also can prevent simple mistakes.
For example, the parent living in the family home can be more likely to get custody of the children. Whether this is the case in your state or province is very important to note if you are thinking of “moving out” and letting your spouse keep the home. What may seem like a kind gesture may come back to bite you later. Early child custody advice can prevent such mistakes from happening.
Kris Rise is a strongly involved parent who shares a favorite (and surprising) child custody advic3e resource on this blog at www.childcustodyadvic3e.com. Don’t be the parent who “didn’t know”.
Article Source: Early Child Custody Advice – Why You Need It
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Divorce is an emotional, stressful ordeal for a couple to endure, and the presence of children in the marriage makes the process even more difficult. One of the first decisions that will have to be made in the event of a separation or divorce is which home the kids will spend most of their time in. There are no easy answers to this question, but parents who cannot come to an agreement may have the custody battle settled in court.
There are many factors that may go into determining which home will serve the best interests of the children, which is why it is important to have the help of an Irvine child custody lawyer who can ensure the process will continue smoothly and fairly. It is important that each parent works with an individual attorney who will protect that person’s rights. Sometimes, the children even need to have their own attorney involved to make sure their best interests are taken into consideration.
The matter of child custody is further complicated by the fact that there are different types of custody to take into consideration. Physical custody is generally given to the parent the child will be living with most of the time, since this is the person who will be physically with the child the most. Legal custody entails the decisions that go into raising the child, and may include decisions about health care, education and religion. In some cases, one parent may have primary physical custody while both parents equally share legal custody. An Irvine child custody lawyer will be able to help parents determine the best interests of the child in both of these areas.
Two types of child custody settlements that are not recommended as often are joint custody, where both parents share equally in the physical custody, and split custody, which entails splitting up siblings so each parent can have a child full time. The courts generally do not like either one of these arrangements typically, since most psychologists will agree that either of the situations will be stressful for the child. The rare occasions where joint custody is awarded will usually involve two parents who have proven they can work well together for the sake of their children. If one of these situations actually appears to be the best solution, an Irvine child custody lawyer can ensure that this agreement is properly carried out.
In most cases, the courts would prefer that parents reach their own agreement on child custody. This can be done with the assistance of Irvine child custody lawyers assigned to each party, and a mediator if necessary. If parents cannot reach an agreement, the courts will be forced to decide how custody will be awarded. Many factors will go into this decision, such as a child’s preference if he is old enough to say, best interests of the child and the child’s primary caregiver. An Irving child custody lawyer working for each party will ensure the decision is fair and that the rights of both parents and the children are protected throughout the process.
For more information on the process for a Divorce in Irvine or to schedule a consultation with a Child Custody Lawyer Irvine visit the offices of Diefer Law Group
Article Source: Advantages of Using a Child Custody Lawyer
Do you want to get divorced? The decision to divorce is critical, with consequences that can last a lifetime. Marital problems, pain in your relationship and frustration with it does not always mean divorce.
Below are questions you should ask yourself before you get divorced. Go over these questions together, as a couple. Should you decide divorce is the answer for you, at least your spouse won't be blindsided by your feelings.
Origin: About.com Divorce Support
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen
Learn as much as you can about your kids if you want custody. The judge needs to know that you are a daily participant in their lives. You should know who cares for them, and what they need. . Here are some of the places you can get information.
1. School:
If you know anything about your child’s accademic career, you should know who is teaching him. You should know what grades he is getting, and what was said at the last parent / teacher meeting. You should also be familiar with the scheduling of school programs and field trips in which your child is involved.
Parents who say their kids’ education is important to them often go to court with no idea who is teaching them, or even what grade they are in. You should always have copies of their report cards and teacher evaluations if you want to convince the judge that you are on top of their school activities. Make a point of understanding any recommendations the teacher may have, and be able to talk about plans to get the testing or counseling your child may need.
2. Your child’s health
Does your child have medical problems? If so, how is she being treated? Do you know who her doctor is? Do you know what to expect when he gets older? What medicines and therapy is she getting?
Knowing your child has asthma and that he takes 100 milligrams of “XX” 3 times a day is more convincing than “sometimes he has trouble breathing. I don’t know what is wrong with him, but he does take medicine for it”.
3. Babysitters
Not only should you know who provides child care for your family, but you should know where the care center is located, and how your child is doing when he is there. Does he get along with the other children? Does he like the day care teacher? Who are her friends? What does she like to do while she is there?
4. Likes And Dislikes
What foods does he like? What does he hate? What videos does she watch? What clothes does he wear? Who does she admire and pretend to be?
e to eat? How many meals and snacks a day do you prepare? Does she have a good appetite? What kind
5. important People
Does your little girl bake cookies with a special aunt? Is your boy an avid fisherman? Are you going to be able to provide time for these activities to continue? Can you keep his play dates? Do you know his friends and their parents? Are you friends or at least friendly acquaintences with them?
There are many things about children that only their parents know. A stranger can’t guess what makes a child feel happy and secure, or what makes him scared or sad. The judge cannot get to know your child in any meaningful way. If you can’t show that you are more familiar with him than casual care takers, the court will have a harder time believing that it is in the child’s best interest to be trusted to you full time.
Do you have a legal question? Are you looking for an answer to an important relationship concern? Ask The Law Lady. For a prompt answer, write to thelawlady@couple-or-not.com Or read about legal and relationship issues at http://www.couple-or-not.com
Article Source: Child Custody: Make Sure You Do Your Homework
Original: Divorce Advice For Men
Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
Divorce between two people who still love each other can be very painful, not only for the married couple, but for all of their friends and family, as well. Divorce will turn your emotional lives upside down: not to mention the financial costs involved when you consider lawyers, settlements, moving, etc.
On the other hand, sometimes the problems in a marriage are so great that divorce may be the only viable option. For those situations, divorce truly is the best choice for all involved, despite the pain it will cause.
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If you or your spouse is considering a divorce and yet you feel there still may be hope in saving your marriage, try asking yourself these 5 questions before you make a decision.
1. Do you still love your spouse? This is perhaps the most important starting point in terms of asking yourself a series of honest questions about your relationship. If you believe that the answer is that you do not really love your spouse any more, you should probably get on the phone with your divorce lawyer right away: there is no point in moving forward if your love for that person has completely died, or if you do not respect them anymore in some fundamental way.
2. Is there anything you need to get off your chest? Are you harboring any information about things you have done or things you need to tell your spouse? Have you betrayed the trust of your relationship in some way that must be brought up with your spouse in order for things to heal? If so, seriously consider sharing these things with your spouse before you proceed. While their reaction could make things harder at first, there may be some things that need to be brought out into the open before you can move on and heal the relationship.
3. Are there any problems that absolutely cannot be overcome while married? Has anything happened between the two of you that provide an absolute barrier to your staying together? Is there an addiction – such as gambling or alcoholism – that needs to be overcome before you can move on in your relationship? Do your best to truthfully scan your mind and heart for any issue or past event whose existence or memory makes your relationship unworkable.
4. Do you have any conditions for staying together? If you or your spouse has had an affair, has a gambling problem, or has done something unethical or illegal that you do not respect, look inside your heart and ask yourself: what absolutely needs to happen before I am willing to commit to this relationship again?
5. Have you given your relationship everything you have? Maybe you and your spouse have been fighting for the survival of your marriage for months or years without a lot of progress. Maybe it has been 3 steps forward, 4 steps back. Whatever the situation, look inside your heart and ask yourself whether you have truly given it your all. Do you have anything left to give?
The prospect of a divorce is a scary thing and nobody wants to have to go through it. Answering these questions honestly for yourself is a first step toward deciding whether you are ready to give things at least one more solid try or to call it quits.
Want to avoid the incredible pain and cost of divorce? If you believe it is worth giving your love another chance, check out this expert guide that has helped thousands of other couples save their marriages at: www.Earth-Matters.com
Article Source: Should I Get A Divorce – 5 Questions To Ask Yourself
Credit: Divorce Advice For Men
I'm 28 and have been married for 2 years. My wife and I have twin girls that are a little over a year old. Lately I find myself thinking about leaving all the time. I feel trapped and like I will die if I don't get out of this marriage.
...Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now
When you’re going through a divorce and dealing with custody issues – your first thought may be that you should have custody. If this is because it’s in the best interest of your child, by all means, you should pursue it. However, if you are doing it simply to keep your spouse away from your kids because you want to hurt him or her – you should reconsider. The only thing that will accomplish is hurting your children as well and they could grow to resent you for keeping them away from their other parent. That said, here are some tips for how to win custody during a divorce.
Prove That You Are the Best Caregiver -
The courts will always have your child’s best interests at heart. This means they will consider who the best caregiver is based on the household situation and living arrangements, family income and the ability to provide for the child, who will care for the child while you’re at work and more. The key to winning the custody case is to show that you’re the best caregiver for the child. If you’ve been the primary caregiver for most of the child’s life, you will have something great going for you. For instance, you may be a stay at home mother. Be sure to prove that you’re the best caregiver for your child.
Show Evidence of Your Concerns -
Many times, courts make their decisions based on evidence that a certain parent may not be the best parent. If there is any evidence that your spouse is not the best permanent caregiver for your child, you need to have it. For instance, there may be times that your spouse didn’t do what he or she was supposed to do with the child. They may have forgotten to drop them off here or there or they may not have all of the important information for your child, such as medical insurance, school information, etc. This is information you need to show the court to prove that you are the best caregiver.
There may also be witnesses who can help your case. For instance, if your housekeeper or a family or friend has seen your spouse return the children at a later date than he or she was required to or without the necessary items, these people can help you.
Your Child’s Opinion -
If the judge were to ask your child right now who he or she wanted to live with, what would your child say? Depending upon his or her age, their opinion may be taken into consideration. In fact, if your child is at a certain age, his or her opinion may be the deciding factor as to who is granted custody. This is why the parent who has taken care of the child primarily for most of his or her life gets custody in a large percentage of custody cases.
While there is no sure way to win custody cases, these things play a huge part in who gets awarded custody. By knowing this, you can be prepared to show that you are the best choice for the primary caregiver and that your spouse is not the best choice. By following the above tips for child custody cases, you can do just that.
Danielle L. Taylor is the author and editor for Xstilla.com one of the most active divorce support communities in the Web. To learn more about divorce, child support, dating or to discuss your problem with understanding members of the community visit Xstilla.com!
Article Source: Child Custody Secrets – How to Win Custody During a Divorce
Credit: Divorce Advice For Men
Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think. Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets? Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children. Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets. Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.
The other day a paralegal sent our business an email asking where she could find child custody forms and papers for her state. I was surprised that someone in the legal profession was asking this question–aren’t the attorneys and their staff supposed to know these things? Her email made me realize that custody forms and papers can be confusing and overwhelming for anybody. So, to help bring some clarity to the subject, here is some information about the child custody forms and papers that you need for your custody case.
The first thing to figure out is where you can find the papers you need. This is complicated because every state has different forms to fill out. So, you need to find the forms and the laws about custody for your state. The good news is that most states now put their custody forms online–you just need to search for you state and custody papers. Double check to make sure that any paper you’re filling out for custody is for the state that you live in. Also make sure that any advice you’re getting about custody applies to the state that you live in. You can also get the custody forms that you need at the courthouse. Generally, you go to the district court in your county to get these–it’s the same court where you file for divorce. Any courthouse that you go to should be able to direct you to the right place.
When you’re filling out the papers, make sure you have the right ones. This can be tricky because many times you fill out different forms depending on your circumstances. For example, you may need fill something out if you and the child’s other parent don’t agree on custody and you may fill out a different paper if you do agree on custody. Most of the forms that you get online have explanations. You can look for more resources because sometimes the explanations are confusing. You can always go to the courthouse and ask about the papers. And, if you have an attorney, your attorney should answer any questions that you have (and help you fill out the papers).
Take your time when you fill out your forms. Make sure that you have some quiet time to concentrate so that you can fill them out properly. Check all of the information that you have on the papers–because the courts will check it and if there are errors they won’t be accepted. Do it right the first time so you don’t have to keep filling them out.
You can take a lot of the difficulty out of filling out your custody forms. Expect to spend some time figuring out where to get the forms and how to fill them out. Once you’ve put in your time and double checked them, you’ll be ready to file them with the court and move on with your case.
Get more information about child custody papers and learn more about filling out child custody forms.
Article Source: Child Custody Papers and Forms: Information You Need to Know
Origin: Divorce Advice For Men
The Family Court Judge is just like you and I. He is a normal person with a job to do. The Family Court Judge has a job that will ultimately give him power over life decisions for you and your spouse. So, if you want to retain power over how your divorce settlement turns out you should put thought into going through the Collaborative Divorce process or fully engaging in mediation and be willing to negotiate, which means being willing to give and take.
...Origin: About.com Divorce Support
Choosing a lawyer is like choosing a doctor. You want to find someone who works well with your personality and legal needs. Just because someone is a good lawyer doesn’t mean he or she is the lawyer for you. When you’re looking for a divorce lawyer, keep these tips in mind:
1. Check out the lawyer’s personality.
A hot-headed lawyer is not going to look good for you nor do you much good. A divorce is stressful; you’ll want a lawyer that stays calm so that he or she can help keep you calm. Additionally, you’ll want to find a lawyer who is willing to take the time to answer your questions and who understands what is important to you. For example, if the most important part of the divorce to you is getting a reasonable custody settlement, you’ll want to avoid the lawyer that keeps returning to financial settlements in your discussions.
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2. Don’t underestimate the power of technology.
There are software programs that you can use yourself that can make divorce proceedings such as division of property and child support more efficient. Furthermore, sometimes it’s easier to keep in touch via email when you both are busy (as long as your lawyer isn’t opposed to phone calls and face-to-face meetings when you need more detailed explanations.)
3. Find someone who is not afraid to be straightforward.
Your lawyer should be willing to be honest with you as well as understand divorce laws. This honesty comes from his or her knowledge of the law and what the likely outcome will be. If your request will likely end up unfavorably to you, your lawyer should be honest. Likewise, you’ll be stressed during the divorce. Your lawyer is the one who should remind you what is important and what should and shouldn’t be pursued.
4. Make sure your lawyer understands the complexity of divorce.
Divorce is not just a legal issue. It involves the law, crazy emotions, children, property, money – you name it, it’s involved in the divorce. If your lawyer spends most of his or time talking about winning or losing the legal battle, he or she may have lost sight of everything else that is affecting you. Find someone who understands divorce support and will be able to help you keep all aspects of the divorce in perspective.
5. Find someone you can afford.
If you are worried about the legal fees you’ll incur throughout the divorce, talk to your lawyer. You might be able to change from an hourly fee to a flat rate program that clearly lays out what is involved.
Finding a lawyer is not as simple as calling the first person you find in the yellow pages. Don’t be afraid to call several divorce lawyers and go on to discuss with them your expectations and specific situation before you make your final decision. It’s also helpful to ask the people you know for recommendations.
Len Stauffenger’s parents taught him life’s simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents”, his book, is the solution. Len is a Reiki Master, an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
Article Source: Qualities of Good Divorce Lawyers
So, there you have what you need to find a good lawyer when facing divorce.
Do you have a Family Court horror story?
I remember being satisfied with the divorce settlement agreement my ex and I came to the day we went to divorce court. When I spoke to an elderly neighbor who had been through a divorce he laughed and told me that a "Family court order is nothing but a promise on a piece of paper." At the time I thought he had little faith in a system I was sure would protect me if my ex defied our final divorce agreement.
...Original: About.com Divorce Support
