With all of the fighting and tension that can come in a child custody situation, it’s no wonder that many divorced parents say they’re going through a custody battle. There are a wide range of topics that parents can disagree on and it can be very difficult to come to a resolution. Many parents want to make their child custody battle less of a war and more of a negotiation and working together–this takes a lot of the stress out of the situation and is better for the children. Here’s some advice on how to bring some peace to your battle.
1. Create a fair visitation schedule. Don’t try to trick your ex out of any time with the child. Sit down and create a legitimate schedule that gives appropriate time for your custody situation to each parent. This way if your ex hurls accusations against you, you can calmly show the calendar and explain how everything is fair.
Also, be flexible about your visitation schedule. Don’t be stubborn about things that don’t really matter–if your ex wants visitation on a certain day, don’t block it unless you have a really good reason. Divide the holidays, school breaks, and vacation time fairly too. When the child’s other parent sees you acting equally and fairly it, he/she should follow suit.
2. Don’t get angry–write it down. If your ex is constantly doing things that go against your child custody agreement, don’t pitch a fit. Rather, explain to the child’s other parent that you will be keeping track of these offences to show the judge in court. Write down the date of the offense and what happen (like, your former spouse dropped the kids off an hour late). Keep a record of these, and then bring them to court and show the judge.
This is better because if you want to petition for a new custody order you will have the evidence you need. And, when your former spouse realizes that they aren’t pushing the buttons they want–and that there will be consequences in court if they continue their behavior, they’ll most likely stop.
3. Focus the communication on your child. You’re going to have to communicate with your ex. This may be unpleasant, but it is a reality. So, in order to make this productive, focus your discussions on your children and pertinent information. Maybe you want to schedule a time each week when you talk about the kids. This way you can get everything prepared and know exactly when you will have to talk to your ex. Keep the meeting or conversation focused on the kids–you may even want to set an agenda so you don’t get sidetracked.
If your former spouse starts to argue about other things, respond with “This is the time to talk about the children. If you like we can discuss that issue at another time.” When you’re just talking about the things you have to you won’t have as many arguments.
Not everyone can have the ideal situation of having a peaceful child custody case. But, you can lessen the battle and have more peace concerning yours if you create a fair visitation schedule, are productive with your anger, and focus your communication on your children. Hopefully then you can spend less energy fighting and spend more of your energy parenting.
Find out more about bringing peace to your child custody battle and get more child custody advice.
Article Source: Child Custody Battle: Advice on Bringing Peace to Your Custody Case
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