Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Child Custody Mediation and Your Custody Order

Child custody mediation is when both parents sit down with a mediator and create a parenting plan that they both agree on. Once they agree on their parenting plan, they take it to court and it becomes the custody order. The custody order simply makes the parenting plan a legal agreement, so if either parent violates it, there are legal ramifications.

Many states now require parents who cannot agree on custody issues to go to mediation before they go to court. If mediation works (and there is a high success rate) then it makes it easier for the court to come up with the custody order, both parents are more satisfied with the order, and there will be fewer changes later on. If you and your child’s other parent try mediation, here are three things you can do to make it successful.

No BS Divorce Strategies For Men

1. Be prepared. Before you go to mediation, do your homework. Be familiar with various types of visitation schedules and custody arrangements. Create a few calendars with different schedules to show the mediator and your former spouse what you’d like.

Also, think about and write down any provisions and stipulations you’d like to add to your parenting plan. Perhaps you’d like a provision that states that both parents talk about what extra curricular activities the child will be involved in. Or that a parent must notify the other parent within a certain amount of days about a new address or telephone number. Think about things that are important to you. Write them down so you don’t forget to talk about them.

2. Be flexible. Go to mediation with you mind open to different solutions. Come with several ideas of how to make a visitation schedule–not with just one. Listen to your former spouse and the mediator instead of only focusing on what you want. If you are flexible with the solution, you will most likely find one. There are many ways to make a parenting plan work–and if both parents contribute a lot of ideas, they are sure to find one for their situation. Problems come up when one parent is obstinate and refuses to compromise on any issues. This makes the other parent more stubborn, and then they can’t reach an agreement.

3. Focus on the children. When you go to mediation, only talk about the issues that relate to the kids. Don’t bring up any other divorce issues or problems between the parents. Think of the meeting as a business meeting–with the objective of finding a parenting plan that is the best for the children. Don’t focus on your personal parenting agenda–always remember that you want to do what is in the best interest of the children.

Mediation can be a great way to get a child custody order that makes everyone happy. This is the best thing for the children because then they can relax and enjoy the time they have with both parents without worrying about conflict and fighting. It’s also good for the parents because they can stop worrying about the stress of the agreement, and just focus on being parents.

Find out more about child custody mediation and get more information about child custody orders.

Article Source: Child Custody Mediation and Your Custody Order

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

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