Divorce Reviews

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Do You Punish Your Spouse by Withholding Sex?

Withholding sex seems to be a common method of punishing a spouse. We've all heard about the wife who gets mad and sleeps on the couch or turns her back to her husband in bed. Somewhere down the line she learned that cutting her spouses off sexually was an acceptable way of expressing her anger or punishing her husband for hurtful behavior. In my opinion, to do so is a type of abuse and unacceptable in any relationship.

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Child Custody and Support

Nebraska Child Custody and Support Guidelines

Monday, May 30, 2011

Child Custody and Support

North Carolina Child Custody and Support Guidelines

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Divorce: 11 Tips For The Matrimonially-Challenged – Part 1

Ahhh, jumping the broom. It’s not for everyone, but it’s manageable if you have the right information. I was completely caught off guard by some of the situations I’ve encountered in nearly eleven years of holy matrimony and if you’re not prepared, you’ll be running full speed ahead back to the single life. Fortunately, my husband and I loved each other enough to pull our family together and live happily ever after.

You say you want happily ever after also? Well, I submit to you a list of valuable lessons I’ve learned throughout the years. Of course, I can’t really promise you eternal love, but a few of these tips will save you from unnecessary suffering, guaranteed.

*Be crowned the king/queen of two-timing BEFORE you commit
In other words, it’s so much easier to play the field while you’re single, instead of getting married and deciding you want to see a whole lot of other people. Seems like this would be easy to figure out, right? Well, apparently it’s not. Some people don’t realize the big mess they’ve created until it’s way too late and they’re unable to come back from it. Can you say: Alimony, monthly child-support payments and a second job to support yourself? Not to mention various sexually transmitted diseases, some fatal.

*Marry someone you are also friends with.
Declare to spend the rest of your life with someone who really likes you as a person, not just as a sexual partner. Sometimes, sex will be nonexistent for short periods of time (pregnancy, illness). If you and your better half like each other, as well as love each other, the foundation that was built on friendship will be more than enough to get you through those rough patches. Besides, being best friends with your spouse makes marriage so much more fun!

*Don’t put your spouse on a pedestal
Everyone makes mistakes, so leave room for plenty of them. If you’re looking for the perfect spouse and marriage you’re probably living in a fantasy world. Simple rules apply in our vows, but we all act a little human sometimes and vows become the hardest thing in the world to stick to. This is to be expected, so try not to come down too hard on your other half for not being a saint at all times and the two of you will be just fine.

*Leave the past in the past
Geez, are you still nagging about all those awful things that happened three years ago. Get over it. No one wants to hear the remix of how much of a jackass they used to be, especially when you all agreed to work it out and things are going great. If you just can’t stop bringing it up every five minutes, maybe it’s time to seek counseling. Otherwise, concentrate on the good things and push forward.

*Put your spouse and children first
Nothing is going to send you to divorce court faster than in-law drama. I know you want everyone to get along, but understand that you are not responsible for your mother, father or siblings happiness. Your main responsibility is to keep your house in order. If your parents and siblings can’t get with the program, be prepared to take a hiatus from them until they have learned to respect you and your mate. If something in them forbids them to do so, stay true to the one who really matters and that should be you.

Via: Divorce Advice For Men

Survive an Unwanted Divorce

You've found yourself the recipient of an unwanted divorce. Your spouse may have just walked out, or left you for another man/other woman.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Bad Marriage

Have you spent years investing time, effort and energy in your marriage? Is the only return you’ve gotten on your investment ambivalance? Does it seem that no matter what you do, the bad outweighs the good in your marriage?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Hypnotherapy For Divorce

When we fall in love and experience the first blush of romance, it seems to us that life couldn’t be better. The world seems perfect and rosy, and we cannot bear to think of ever living without our partner. Yet, the reality is that more often than not there is trouble in paradise; after a period of time spent together, the rosy hue dissipates only to be replaced by a sepia toned world.

The divorce rates have gone up around the world in the last few years, and break ups are as common as the housefly! Research says that almost 49% of the marriages end up in divorce within the first 7 years in the US; globally, one out of every three married couples is headed for Splitsville. A separation of such a kind is very difficult to handle for any person; feelings of anger, depression, nervous breakdowns and disillusionment are what people experience in general.

Though such a situation is a bitter pill to swallow, we have to do it…and do it with dignity. Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce can help you pass over this phase with less pain and more self-respect. Here’s how.

After separating with our partner, it is crucial for us to find hope, and to move on. The more you mope around the more harm you bring upon yourself. It is no mean feat to come through a divorce with your head held high; it can be a Herculean task in times like these to have positive thoughts. To some of us, a break up or divorce can seem like the end of the world. If it does, you are not to blame because it indeed is a very painful situation and one that can let loose a slew of negative emotions. Here’s where hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce comes in. Hypnotherapy is a mode of relaxation in some ways, a means of soothing your aching heart and caressing your troubled mind. Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce helps you draw strength from within yourself, so you can bid goodbye to the anti-depressants and the sleeping pills. It empowers you with self-healing through positive energy and suggestions. In traumatic times such as these, it gives you the direction that you might badly need.

Hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce helps you address the negative emotions that fester within you during such times. A session with a responsible therapist will let you identify the exact feelings and work your way around them. You have to realize that even after a divorce life goes on; if there are children involved their future depends on you. Life can be tough, especially with the practicalities that face you after a divorce; however, it is only you who can indeed redeem yourself in such a situation. Through techniques of relaxation, positive thoughts and auto suggestion you will learn how to cope with the anger & bitterness you are feeling. It will help you reduce your stress and help you put your life back together. Sometimes it happens with us that we can’t see things clearly when we are too close to it, you can even call it blindsiding; with hypnotherapy for break-ups and divorce, you distance yourself from the painful situation and learn to look at it objectively. It could be the best remedy when you are faced with troubled times like these.

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Midlife Crisis

When dealing with a spouse who is going through a midlife crisis the biggest mistake you can make is attempting to communicate with your spouse.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sex After Divorce - Play It Safe When Having Sex After Divorce

So you’re planning to go out on a date– how exciting! Whether it’s with someone new or someone you’ve already seen a few times, your adrenaline is probably pumping; dating and sex after divorce can nerve-wracking!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Blame

When I think about a climate of blame in a marital relationship, I think of the negative effect it has on a marriage.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Creating a Parenting Plan for Child Custody Court

The purpose of custody court is for the judge or court to accept a parenting plan as a custody court order and make the plan legally binding. There are several ways that divorced parents can get their plans accepted by court. If both parents agree on the plan and on the custody and visitation, they create their plan, bring it to court, and the judge accepts it.

If the parents don’t agree on a plan, many states require them to go to mediation. In mediation hopefully the parents can work out a plan they agree on and present it to the court. If parents simply cannot work together on their custody agreement, both parents present the parenting plan they’d like the court to accept and the judge makes the final decision. The court can decide to accept either parent’s plan, or they can make changes and accept parts of both of them.

No matter what category you fall in–if you and your former spouse are working together or if you’re preparing a plan to present at mediation or at court, it is vital that you create the best parenting plan that you can. Here are some things to consider while you’re making that plan.

Your parenting plan is a long term schedule and agreement. So, you really want to put in the time at first to get a custody agreement that you really like and that makes you and the children happy. You should just expect to spend some time on this agreement–it isn’t going to come together overnight. You want to allow yourself enough time before going to court or going to mediation to think through all of the details and the specifics of the agreement. It is possible to get your plan changed after the court accepts it, but it is a big hassle and can be a long process. Invest the time in the beginning to save yourself hassle and time later on.

Your parenting plan is the same things as the custody agreement. This is the plan that determines how much time the children spend with each parent. You’ll need to come up with a custody and visitation schedule. If you and your former spouse are working together, you can create this as a joint effort. If you are getting ready to present your plan to the court, develop a schedule that you’d like the court to accept. Create a calendar outlining the rotating schedule and the times of visitation and custody for both parents. Make a fair schedule and be sure to give your child’s other parent enough time. The court generally likes more shared parenting agreements because it feels like those are in the best interest of the children.

Your schedule should include a holiday and vacation schedule. Divide the holidays evenly and fairly between the parents. This means that both parents get the equal big and small holidays. You can also change the schedule during spring, summer, and winter break.

Another big part of your parenting plan that you need to prepare are any provisions or stipulations that you want in the agreement. These are terms that both parents must adhere to. If you want to know about your child’s other parent’s address change within a certain number of days, put that in the agreement. Or maybe you’d like an itinerary when the other parent takes the child on vacation. You can put that in too. Remember that only the things in the agreement that the court accepts are legally binding. So, if there are any issues that are really important to you, make sure the court accepts them as part of your parenting plan.

Making your parenting plan doesn’t have to be stressful or overwhelming. Give yourself enough time to create a schedule and calendar, and think through provisions and stipulations that you’d like in the agreement. Then you can feel confident and secure when the court accepts your plan. You know that your plan will last for quite awhile.

Learn more about how to create your perfect parenting plan and get more information about how to prepare for child custody court.

Article Source: Creating a Parenting Plan for Child Custody Court

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Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Hiding Computer Activity

Some use the computer excessively when having a physical affair. If your spouse is spending excessive amounts of time on the computer they could be engaged in an online affair or they are using the computer to stay in contact with their physical affair partner.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Is Your High Conflict Divorce Causing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

The National Institute of Mental Health defines Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as "an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat."

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Colorado Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Colorado divorce laws.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Monday, May 23, 2011

Addicted to the Drama

There are presently 6 billion people living on planet Earth. World Peace is the ideal that all 6 billion of them will learn to live in peace and harmony together, united in holy matrimony, until death by natural causes do them part. Lets start off small. Lets see if we can get two people to live together in peace.

Samuel Twain is a 54 year old Yale Graduate, former law professor, District Attorney, defense counsel, turned extremely powerful and successful philanthropist and land developer. Obviously we are not talking chopped liver here. We are talking Midas, in his professional life, and Murphy, in his personal life- the only law he has known is Murphy’s Law- or so he thinks- way too much. Sam is currently married to Jane, a stunningly attractive woman, popular, brilliant, composed, a ballet, tennis, golf, community involvement enthusiast, on the outside, the perfect woman. Sam and Jane have raised two magnificent children, Jacqueline, a 26 year old physician, married to Alan, a 28 year old physician, and Gail, a 21 year old doll about to be married to a young wonderful lawyer named Richard. They are all in perfect health, living in Boca Raton Florida, on the outside, the family envied by the entire world – a modern day Pleasantville family. Unfortunately, the entire family is caught in the throes of grief and misery, as if the Titanic had just hit the iceberg in the icy Atlantic Ocean late at night, and the captain just realized that they forgot to load the lifeboats. How could this be?
Well, have you ever heard of a little 3 letter word called sex? Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychiatry, who had intimate relations with his mother on a regular basis, said that every 3 seconds men have a sexual thought. It must have been all that time spent sitting in his chair with his stopwatch that led to his fascination with Fransz Antoine Mesmer, the father of faith healing, and hypnosis, if you don’t count the Jewish born rabbi and creator of the Universe, the Messiah to 2 billion Christians and 1 billion Muslims, Jesus aka Joshua aka Yeshua aka The Holy Spirit aka God the Father Almighty, you know who I’m talking about. Sam and Jane have spent hours if not days with their relationship counselor Dr. Ellen Friedrich, who is still working on the case, without any success. She is wondering how she passed 11 years of medical school but can’t seem to get the perfect couple of the universe to function peacefully together. Sam has spent so much time bouncing from baby Thomas’ crib room, to hotel suites, to his palatial country estate in the Hamptons alone, that when the border guard asked his address, he began to drool uncontrollably and had to be fitted with a cloth between his teeth and a straight jacket to prevent him from chewing his jaw off.

So what is at the root of Sam and Jane Twain’s misery? Well, 8 years ago, a lovely woman, Dawn, divorced from 2 abusive alcoholics, came to work as a secretary in the office of Sam Twain. To say that the chemistry between Sam and Dawn was and continues to be hot, is like saying that Adolf Hitler wasn’t really that enamored with Jewish people. Sam and Dawn not only set the bed on fire at an age when Sam should be going blind from Viagra, but they also have a blazing red hot friendship. At the same time, Sam is still madly in love with Jane, even though 30 years of practice seems to have cooled off the sheets somewhat. One would think that of these 3 intelligent and mature adults, at least one of them after eight years of this relationship turmoil would have been able to say good bye to one of the others, but unfortunately we are dealing here with human beings, and life is not that simple.

Sam cannot bring himself to leave Jane because he loves her so. Sam cannot bring himself to leave Dawn because he likes her so and Dr. Freud may have been wrong – it may have been every 2 seconds. Dawn cannot break up with Sam because he is the answer to all of her financial emotional sexual and life problems, and Jane cannot bring herself to throw Sam out of the house because she so loves Sam, and knows that even half a husband is better than cyber dating – an endless series of coffee dates with every nutcase in the world and their own endless baggage claim checks. Perhaps this is the answer to world peace – it’s never going to happen. Maybe the Black Eyed Peas were right – we’re all too addicted to the drama.

Origin: Divorce Advice For Men

Uncontested Divorce

What is an uncontested divorce?If both spouses agree that the marriage is to end and come to a mutually satisfying agreement regarding the final divorce settlement, you have an uncontested divorce.

Source: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Should Divorce Laws Be Reformed?

I recently left a comment on an article about reforming divorce laws on the Huffington Post divorce section. The Huffington Post article discusses a new movement, The Coalition for Divorce Reform and outlines not only the reason there is a need to reform divorce laws but how this can be accomplished.

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Via: About.com Divorce Support

Passive Aggressive Victim

What is the pay-off for the passive aggressive who plays the victim? It is a ploy they use to turn the tables and make them appear to be the injured party.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Divorce: Why Do Women Want To Change Their Partner – Part 2

Many times happens that your girlfriend sees you
staring at a beautiful woman whom is passing near
you on the street and she gets angry and asks you
to stop this and change yourself. However, this
happens because women are very jealous and do not
understand that men like to admire the opposite
sex and not necessarily with intention to sleep
with them.

Women should learn to love their partner with all
his faults, this will save them of a lot of
heartache for the long-term of her relationship.
This is the reason there are so many divorces.
All women try to change their man, that is why
rarely hear that a woman is complimenting her man
to her friends. They compete to see who has the
worst man.

Maybe you have a relationship for a long time and
she asks you to change a little bit. You changed
yourself quite a lot, but she still finds out
things that she does not like about you, and
wants to be changed. It is never enough no? What
is next? Usually men cannot change easily, but
some of them change themselves only if they are
motivated to do so.

However, if your love and trust in your
relationship were strong enough, she would not
ask you to change yourself. It takes maturity to
the woman to realize that she will never change
the person who she want to be, so she should
accept him or forget him.

To have success with your relationship you must
accept and respect the differences that are
between you two. Both have issues, but if there
is true love, you will try to complement each
other.

Because of the big differences between men and
women, the most frequent complain men have about
woman is that they always try to change them, and
the one that women have about men is that men
never listen. It is true that women value love,
communication, beauty, and relationships while
men are more interested in objects and things
rather than people and feelings.

Divorce and Your Credit Score

Steps that need to be taken to keep divorce from ruining your credit.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Warning: Your Spouse May be Hiding Money During Your Divorce!

Hiding money (or other assets) during a divorce is illegal and unethical. Never the less it’s much more common than you think. Your spouse may be trying to lower child support and/or alimony payments by hiding assets? Learn to identify the signs and uncover the hidden assets to protect you and your children. Get a FREE report revealing 5 common tactics commonly used to hide assets. Visit Divorce Ammo to get your FREE report now.

Healthy Anger

In a healthy marriage both spouses feel free to express their emotions, needs and desires. It is inevitable that expressing emotions can, at times mean expressing healthy anger and engaging in conflict. Anger is a healthy part of a relationship if the anger is properly expressed.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Maria Shriver Should Not Have Left Arnold Schwarzenneger

That is the opinion given by Dr. Keith Ablow in an interview on Fox News...according to him, "with Arnold looking weak right now, rather than strong, Maria has a chance to have and to hold her husband as never before."

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Divorce: Why Do Women Want To Change Their Partner – Part 1

There are major, significant differences between
men and women. Women and men are looking for
different things in a relationship because they
have different personalities. It is still a
mystery for men what a woman really wants in a
relationship, what she needs to be happy.

Women have an idealistic view of the relationship
and that is why they want the man to change.
Changes occur every day but rarely do they affect
anyone. Therefore, men refuse to do this, they
usually have the concept that if their woman
loves them, they have to accept them as they are.
If not, they had better change their girlfriends.

People in relationships often have strong
expectations that their partner will be exactly
what they want. You will see that if you meet a
girl and you will have a long relationship with
her, after a while she will try to change you.
When you met her, she was perfect in every sense
of the word. However, after a while, she will try
to make you to be like the person from her
fantasy.

People which try to change other people in a
relationship initially try to make the person out
to be something they were not and try to mold
them in the perfect mate. Nevertheless, a perfect
mate does not exist. Trying to change a person is
a sign of strong possession, to have someone so
strongly that you can actually change his or her
behavior.

Change is not always a bad thing to try to induce,
sometimes your partner can just lack certain
social graces; but change should always be a two
way street with a couple, otherwise you just
controlling the other person.

However, women always seem to want to change the
man they are in love with. Even if they know that
men do not change, yet women try anyway. That
happens because most women enter into a
relationship with unrealistic ideas.

There are girls that have strange ideas about
relationships, and they try to change the person
they meet with a person they loved before, but
this always fail. In addition, they do not
understand why men like going out with their
friends to pubs, even if it is a form of
relaxation, especially in weekends, when they
consider that weekend is for the family to spend
time together.

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Budgeting After Divorce

Chances are divorce left your budget a little lop-sided, with much less monthly income to use in your current lifestyle. Now is the time to re-evaluate your budget, not months later when you’ve gotten deeper into debt and your credit has been ruined.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Child Custody

Fathers have the same rights to custody of their children after divorce as do mothers. Gaining child custody may be as simple as using the legal system in your favor instead of waiting around for your wife to use it in her favor.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

How to Avoid Divorce

Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally. And while not every marriage should attempt to be salvaged, a great many more than are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts. So, the first step in avoiding divorce is recognizing that the fact that you have come to this point in your relationship is not unusual, but it does indicate that something must change if it is to survive. But before you go through a mental litany of everything that needs to change as justification for giving up, realize that there is help out there and if you are willing to put in the time and commitment, you can make your marriage work even when it seems that you and your partner have reached the end of the road.

Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling can be a very effective instrument in putting a marriage that seems to be going down the divorce path back onto the right track. Counseling helps couples to identify the root of their marital problems and solve them with a little help from a professional counselor trained in mediation. Finding an effective marriage counselor, however, requires a bit of work on your part. Many counselors will offer a free consultation. Ask for recommendations from friends, but in part you should call 10 or so counselors, ask for their price packages ahead of time and then schedule consultations with the 3 or 4 that meet your pricing needs. Make sure that when you go into these consultations you grade the effectiveness on how BOTH you and your spouse feel about the individual.

Self Help

There are also many self-help tools available in the market today. There are some excellent books and articles on how to make marriages work, how to re-ignite the spark in a relationship and how a few simple steps can bring back the love in a relationship that had turned hateful. Both partners can get a lot of inspiration, advice and ideas on how to make relationships work from such books and articles. You can even find help when you think there is infidelity in your marriage. There are books and articles out there, which tell you why people cheat or stray out of line and what you can do about it.

The common thread in all of these self help guides is communication and understanding. By making an effort to understand where your spouse is coming from, and them where you are, and then making compromises and communicating, most marital problems will become alleviated.

Resorts

Then there are many resorts that are specially designed to create an ambiance which is conducive to romance. These vacation packages are easy to find and require only that you be on the look out. The point of these resorts is to reinvigorate a relationship by introducing some of the passion and spontaneity that over time can be watered down by obligations and daily responsibilities. These events attempt to eliminate outside stresses so that you can focus on your spouse, and in so doing rekindle the love you feel for one another.

All in all, if you are willing to put in your best efforts to stop your marriage from slipping away, there is now help at hand and you need not have to fight alone. By utilizing the tools of counselors, self help and resorts you can go a long way to giving your marriage the best chance for survival. But beyond survival, these tools can help ensure you a happy lifelong relationship.

Original: Divorce Advice For Men

Arnold Schwarzenegger Fathered Child with Household Employee

The reason for the split between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver has been revealed. Schwarzenegger admits to have an affair with a member of their household staff and fathering a child.

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Via: About.com Divorce Support

Children's Divorce Rights

Marriage is a contract between adults, and when it ends, the matter is between the adults. Yet, no parental action has a greater impact on children. Children love their parents and want to be with them. Even in times of great stress, parents have a responsibility to conduct their legal affairs in a manner that will protect their children from adult conflicts.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Maryland Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Maryland divorce laws.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Do You Have a Family Court Horror Story to Share?

I'm not friend of the family court system. When you combine no-fault divorce laws with unethical judges and divorce attorneys it can turn into a three ring circus. I have been divorced for twelve years. I was in and out of court the first seven years because of divorce attorneys who didn't know how to do their job and judges who didn't enforce divorce court orders. I hope you, the reader will help me spread the word about the injustices in the Family Court System by sharing your story.

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Original: About.com Divorce Support

How to Tell Your Children About Divorce – Part 2

It is never acceptable to disclose that you and your spouse are getting a divorce when you are in the middle of a conflict. To place blame on your spouse, or to provide information in a way that conveys blame or fault may make you feel better in the short run. In the long run it will hurt your children, and it will impact your long term relationship with the children’s other parent. Also, courts frown on providing children with adult level information and details about your divorce. Do so and you risk hurting your legal case, if your divorce will be presented to a judge.

Most counselors will support a joint parental communication to the children about the pending divorce. However, a joint discussion about divorce with the children does require that you and your spouse be able to maintain a basic level of civility, if for no other reason than to maintain your children’s peace of mind. If you and your spouse cannot be civil, do not attempt to discuss this issue together with the children.

If your marriage has been rife with conflict, your children may be aware of or even welcoming the relief of a parental separation and/or divorce. Do not be surprised if you find out that your children know more than you thought, even if you have been attempting to conceal the conflict from them.

The issues that your children want to be reassured about involve where they will live, where they will go to school, whether their activities and daily lives will be disrupted, and the degree to which they will be able to maintain their relationship with each parent. Teenagers can be particularly vulnerable and sensitive to disruption in their lives and schedules. If you are able to work out a parenting schedule with your spouse, it is acceptable to share that with the children to reassure them. It also can be acceptable to involve the children in the process of setting a schedule. However, that issue can be very delicate. You do not want children dictating to the adults and you do not want the children to have limited contact with either parent.

Above all else, do not discuss marital fault issues or the reason for the divorce with your children. Even if you think that your spouse is the worse miscreant on the planet, that spouse is your children’s parent. Your children want to and are entitled to love both parents. That a spouse cannot make a marriage work does not dispossess them of the right to be a parent. More important, it does not dispossess the children of the right to love that parent and have a relationship with the parent.

Consider that you may have a range of reactions from your children about the pending divorce. They may not be surprised. Or, they could be upset and shocked. In many cases, even when they are not surprised, the children might be angry or blame themselves. Work with a professional to address all of these emotional reactions. Your children will adjust to your divorce, if you provide the proper guidance and assistance during that process.

Credit: Divorce Advice For Men

Cell Phones and Affairs

Never has it been so easy to track the communication between a spouse and the other man/other woman. If you suspect your spouse of having an affair your fist step should be to communicate your suspicions. If after discussing your fears with your spouse and you feel he/she has not be truthful check their cell phone.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Nebraska Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Nebraska divorce laws.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

How to Tell Your Children About Divorce – Part 1

Whether your divorce is amicable or contentious, when and how to tell your children can be a difficult issue. Your children may already know that there are difficulties in your home life and marriage, but you may be surprised at the level of their sophistication and knowledge about divorce. Even if they are relieved to hear that a difficult home life is about to change, do not ever underestimate the degree to which your divorce can impact your children. The adults are not alone in feeling the stress and hurt of a strained family situation. You must take special steps to insulate your children and help them through the divorce process.

There is not one simple outline that provides all of the right answers and information on how to guide your children through the divorce process. When and how to tell your children about the divorce will depend upon your individual family dynamics, the maturity of your children, the ages of your children, the conflict level in your house, and your own individual preferences. If you are unsure of how to present this issue, it is a good idea to obtain professional help to do so. Many counselors are well versed in addressing divorce issues with children and they are available to guide you through this process with your children.

The type of divorce situation presenting itself in your family will have some impact on how and when you present this issue to your children. If you and your spouse are amicable, and your divorce is low stress, your children may not even be aware of the possibility of a break up. While that means that the divorce conflict has not impacted upon the children as of yet, it does not mean that it will not. Your children might be even more affected by the news that you are divorcing if they were unaware that there were problems in your marriage. If you or your spouse has been working with a counselor, either together or separately, that counselor can lay out some simple strategies on how to tell the children. Basic information that you want to discuss with the counselor is whether you tell the children together or separately and what information you can or should give the children about what their living arrangements will be in the future.

Documents

Your attorney will need documents related to the family finances. These will include income tax returns and documents proving other forms of income. Documents related to any marital debt, assets and property valuations.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Separation

You would think that being in the business I'm in nothing would surprise me when it comes to divorce. Schwarzenegger and Shriver living separately has come as a huge surprise though. They appeared to be a solid couple, one that had weather their differences in political ideology and his time as Governor of California. I thought for sure they would go the distance.

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Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support

Protecting Your Children From Your Divorce

Any child going through a divorce is going to experience some emotional pain, feelings of loss, sadness, frustration and possibly abandonment or rejection. As parents it is important to help children through this difficult time in their lives and to protect them as much as possible from the divorce process itself, as well as the changes that will occur, both now and in the future.

As a parent there are several things that you can do to help your children get through the divorce with as little difficulty as possible. Both parents working together on this goal can make it even easier for the children.

Love

Children at this time need even more love from parents than they did prior to the divorce. This means telling your children every chance to get that you love them, think of them often, and will always be there for them. Try spending some extra one-on-one time with your kids and encourage them to talk about their concerns or fears.

Support and security

Just like love, kids need to feel that they are supported, secure and safe during the divorce. Often children feel very insecure about their relationship with one or both of the parents, and may feel that the parent that moves out of the house has rejected them. Talk to the children about the divorce, and explain that both parents will still be very involved in their lives. Show children your support and commitment to them by being there, and following through on any plans or events. Children may also feel that the custodial parent may not have the financial means to support them, especially if money is an issue in the divorce or in the disagreements leading up to the divorce. Assure your children that you have this under control. Children should not feel concern over financial affairs; they need to know that Mom and Dad have this handled.

Avoid conflict

Children need to see that Mom and Dad still can work together to be good parents. Kids should never be exposed to fighting, negative comments about the other parent, or conflict between parents. If you have a high-conflict situation try exchanging the children at a neutral spot like a restaurant, or perhaps leave the children with a friend and have the other parent pick them up there so you don’t have to meet face to face. It is critical that children not be exposed to the stress and anxiety of parental conflict.

Extended family

Talk to your extended families to make sure that they are following the same expectations for providing love, support, and only positive comments. Encourage your children to talk to other family members about the divorce if they feel comfortable with this.
Set a routine and schedule

As soon as possible set a schedule for children to spend time with both parents. Try to stick to the schedule as much as possible as this allows the children to plan for times with both parents, and to feel a part of both parents’ lives.

Be consistent

Try to set similar expectations for chores, discipline and daily routines in both Mom’s house and Dad’s house. This is particularly important if you have younger children, as they will adjust to spending time in both homes much quicker if they are consistent.

Child Custody and Support

Idaho Child Custody and Support Guidelines

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Divorce – Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide

Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.

Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to ‘Go’ and start over with a new role of the dice.

Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.

Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.

How to Decide

Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the center draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.

There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.

At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginnings of a course of action

Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.

Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the “what if’s”. Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.

Verbal Abuse

My husband is constantly screaming and yelling. The least little thing sets him off. The other day I didn’t load the dishwasher the way he thought it should be. For 30 minutes, I had to listen to him screaming and yelling about how he is the only one here who knows how to do things the right way.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Has Your Ex Defied a Divorce Court Order?

When going through the divorce process I was quite naive. I was inexperienced in not only the legal issues surrounding divorce I also had very high expectations of how my ex would behave once we had negotiated our divorce settlement.

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Via: About.com Divorce Support

Delaware Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Delaware divorce laws.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Cell Phones and Affairs

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Dating Rules

There are no hard, fast rules when it comes to what you should do to get back into the swing of dating. If you have lain to rest all the emotional baggage and feel truly ready to date you will probably do fine. If you have doubts, the following tips will help you navigate the dating scene more easily.

Via: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Did You Marry For All The Wrong Reasons?

I have a friend who is going through a divorce after three years of marriage. She and I were discussing her situation the other day and I asked her why, if she had such negative feelings toward her soon to be ex-husband, why she had married him in the first place.

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Source: About.com Divorce Support

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse consists of anything an intimate partner does to the other partner that causes physical pain. If you partner has slapped, pinched, punched, thrown things at you or assaulted you with a weapon, you are a victim of physical abuse.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Connecticut Divorce Laws

What you need to know about Connecticut divorce laws.

Original: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Monday, May 2, 2011

Dealing With An Angry Child

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. It can cause an exceptional parent to lose focus on what is best for his/her children, which in turn can cause the children to feel mistreated. When negative feelings bleed over into the relationship with children, the result is a fractured child/parent relationship.

Hat Tip To: About.com Divorce Support: What's Hot Now

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Marital Separation

My wife and I have been separated for nearly a year. In our state you have to be separated for one year before you can file for a divorce. I was told by the powers that be in my state that the arrangement we came up with for our marital separation agreement will carry forth into our divorce agreement.

Say “I Do” to Understanding Prenuptial Agreements

A Prenup

What is a marriage? It’s been called a blessing, a curse, an institution, and a ‘ball and chain.’ It’s know as the ‘ultimate bliss’ and ‘the 10th circle of Hell.’ Sonnets, odes, songs, and mountains of books have been written about marriage.

Relationship advice columnist Ann Landers once wrote, “Every marriage is happy. Its the living together afterward that’s the challenge.”

Ann is right. Whatever else marriage may be, it’s a gamble. It’s also contract. So it has become increasingly common for people to enter into the bond of marriage with the caution formerly reserved for big business mergers.

The Eyes of the Beholder
From a religious perspective, marriage is a “holy union.” From the state’s perspective, marriage is a voluntary private agreement by a man and a woman to become husband and wife. And in the eyes of the judicial system, marriage is a binding contract with specific obligations under the law. And one day, that contract may need to be dissolved.

That’s why prenups were created.

Marriage is an emotional and physical union, but it’s also a financial union. A prenuptial agreement looks beyond the clear-and-present joy of two people in love. Instead of being ‘caught up in the moment,’ a prenup makes provisions for life’s unexpected twists and turns. It’s an important ‘insurance policy’ that protects both parties from an unknown future.

If you have something that matters to you, it should be protected by a pre-nup.

What Is A Prenuptial Agreement (Pre-Marital Agreement)?
In essence, a prenuptial agreement is a legal document – a contract between the bride and groom – made before they wed. In most cases, it details what will happen to their individual and collective incomes and assets if a death, divorce, or separation occurs.

Who Should Consider A Prenup
A prenup is not a ‘test’ of love. It should not be seen as ‘the easy way out’ for people who aren’t sure their marriage will last. Instead, a prenup may be looked upon as a security net, a safe place to fall just in case you do.

Celebrities and millionaires wouldn’t think of marrying without advice from their attorneys and a safety-ensuring prenup. But what about you? A prenup may be important for you if you…

* Have valuable assets (a home, stocks and bonds, retirement account)
* Own a business or are a shareholder in one
* May receive a large inheritance
* Have children from a previous marriage
* Have elderly parents or loved ones who need financial assistance from you

You may be surprised to learn that a prenup can protect your current assets and your future earnings. You should also strongly consider a prenup

* If one of you is much wealthier than the other
* If one of you will be supporting the other through college
* If you are pursuing a potentially lucrative profession such as medicine
* If you expect a dramatic increase in income because of professional success.

What Should Be In a Pre-Nup
All prenups include certain standard information. This includes the names of the parties, the date of marriage, purpose of the agreement, and a list of children from previous relationships.

Beyond that, it details the terms of the agreement. In other words, the obligations of each party. The terms generally fall under major headings such as

Property division
Support obligations
Household expenses
Matrimonial home
Business interests
Other property
Tax consequences
Estate planning

What Is Its Legal Validity
Until recently, it was not uncommon for prenuptial agreements to be overturned by the courts. Many were struck down for their unreasonable terms or gross inequality. But in a landmark case decided in March 2004, the Supreme Court of Canada upheld a duly executed marriage contract, despite the fact that the terms were unfair.

The court declared that while the terms of might questionable, the drafting of the agreement had met the legal requirements for a valid contract. This is a strong indicactor that the courts are reluctant to interfere in voluntary contracts made by two well-educated adults with legal representation.

Despite the move towards upholding prenups, however, there remain unimpeachable reasons why a prenup may be invalidated.

As a contract, a prenup may be invalidated for the same reason as any contract. Which is to say that it was entered into under duress, because of undue influence, fraud, unconscionability, fundamental breach, by mistake, and so on.

Grounds for invalidation also include failure by a spouse to disclose fully his/her assets and debts at the time of signing. And finally, the agreement may also be thrown out if one spouse did not understand fully the nature and consequences of the prenup.

Hat Tip To: Divorce Advice For Men

Wondering How Your Passive Aggressive Spouse Got That Way?

If you are in a relationship with a passive aggressive I'm sure you've asked yourself, "how did he/she get this way," probably have asked that question numerous times. This article is an attempt to answer that question. Before moving forward though it should be understood that there is no "one size fits all" answer to the question of what causes passive aggressive behavior.

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