How to Tell Your Children About Divorce – Part 1

Whether your divorce is amicable or contentious, when and how to tell your children can be a difficult issue.  Your children may already know that there are difficulties in your home life and marriage, but you may be surprised at the level of their sophistication and knowledge about divorce.  Even if they are relieved to hear that a difficult home life is about to change, do not ever underestimate the degree to which your divorce can impact your children.  The adults are not alone in feeling the stress and hurt of a strained family situation.  You must take special steps to insulate your children and help them through the divorce process.

There is not one simple outline that provides all of the right answers and information on how to guide your children through the divorce process.  When and how to tell your children about the divorce will depend upon your individual family dynamics, the maturity of your children, the ages of your children, the conflict level in your house, and your own individual preferences. If you are unsure of how to present this issue, it is a good idea to obtain professional help to do so.  Many counselors are well versed in addressing divorce issues with children and they are available to guide you through this process with your children.

The type of divorce situation presenting itself in your family will have some impact on how and when you present this issue to your children.  If you and your spouse are amicable, and your divorce is low stress, your children may not even be aware of the possibility of a break up.  While that means that the divorce conflict has not impacted upon the children as of yet, it does not mean that it will not.  Your children might be even more affected by the news that you are divorcing if they were unaware that there were problems in your marriage.  If you or your spouse has been working with a counselor, either together or separately, that counselor can lay out some simple strategies on how to tell the children.  Basic information that you want to discuss with the counselor is whether you tell the children together or separately and what information you can or should give the children about what their living arrangements will be in the future.

Source: Divorce Advice For Men